My recovery diary.

Ncfc

welcome to the forum a place full of like minded folk who all share the same common desire, to stop gambling and the addiction to it and to live a life without self destruction.

 I gambled in the 1st person never online but the principal is the same when active we all follow the same mantra 

I cannot win because I cannot stop

for five days you have turned that on it’s head, you give yourself a 100% pay rise as a result.

my advice use this time to put in as many blocks as humanly possible 

there is a triangle 

time-money-location 

take one away and the next bet impossible 

block your access to gambling websites 

give control of your finances to your partner 

use the time you will have gained in a constructive fashion 

seek all the help you can, there’s a wealth of it out there, be honest and tell your partner everything because now is the time to do so it won’t leave things for you in the future that may lead you back to thinking a punt will be the answer to a problem 

the blunt truth is gambling will just add to your problem 

most of all enjoy recovery because as a result you will rediscover life 

warmest regards 

just for today 

Duncs 

Hello NCFCLover and a big welcome to the diaries. Some really nice people here who understand the difficulties associated with stopping gambling. You are amongst friends.

Pleased that you have started your recovery diary. In time to come you will be able to reflect on this time of your life and be happy and relieved that you came to your senses and stopped gambling when you did.

I enjoyed reading the last message which was posted by Duncs. 

Wishing you contentment, happy days and wonderful adventures on your life changing adventure.

Stephen x 

Duncan,

Thank you so much for your reply. What a lovely message to receive. Since writing my diary I have taken on board some of the things you mentioned and am continuing to be gamble free and feeling a lot better so far for being so.

I hope you are well,

NCFCLover 

Hi Stephen,

Thank you so much for your message on my diary. I am enjoying being part of the group chat which you visit and you make me laugh a lot on there. You have a good sense of humour!

Wishing you also contentment, more happy days, and wonderful adventures as you continue your life changing  adventure. 

Speak soon in chat,

NCFCLover x

So...

10 days gamble free. I don’t think I’ve ever honestly gone that long and if I have very rarely! I’m feeling different in myself, normally I would be moody, angry, irritated easily, lazy, not motivated the list could go on. I am feeling so much more like myself and people have noticed a change in my moods too.

Double figure gamble free like 10 days may not seem a lot, but feel like a massive achievement for me. Just hope I can continue this. I am worried when lockdown is over I will be straight to the beach for slots or a bingo hall or casino. Slots were my downfall. I suppose I will see how I get on when lockdown is lifted. Until then trying to stay positive.

Your past is history. Glance back, remind yourself occasionally but don't stare. Look forwards. You've got this! Recovery is the best. 

Drama xxx

@dramallama and @reminder Thank you both very much for your comments 🙂 xx 

So...DAY 17 GAMBLE FREE! This is a massive achievement for me and it’s not been easy I still think about it a lot, wanting to do it and thinking ‘I could still play free online slots and get my fix’ but NO...need to keep telling myself it will make things worse not better! 

Enjoyed the 10am chat this morning and felt I could communicate in it a lot as was only 2 of us plus Matt from PeerAid, and both of them gave me lots of new tools to look into to help me stay gamble free. 

Need to express my worries...I’m worrying about my first payday in 2 weeks that I am getting since I stopped gambling fully committing I don’t want to fall back into the habit of getting paid and spending it! And then I’m worrying about when lockdown is over having the urge to go somewhere land based and do it. I need to ban myself but can’t bring myself to do it...

...why haven’t I? I’m stuck because only my partner knows about my gambling and my family and friends go to bingo and I know I will be asked to go too but how many times can I make an excuse to not go? I know I will feel like I’m missing out and can’t bring myself to ban myself from it. But I know the machines outside the main bingo are what feels like my demon...they gave me this awful addiction. Just my thoughts today!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend and keep safe. P.s changed my name from NCFCLover as everyone kept thinking I was a bloke (football related name), not that it matters but this name should help that I’m a woman haha! Xx

Hello LucyLouWho. Love your new name which brought a smile to my face.

Big congratulations for your excellent progress in recovery. You are a brave soul with courage who has wonderful plans for the future and that is a cause for celebration.

Follow your dreams good lady and consign that gambling madness to history.

Wishing you a super duper weekend

Stephen 

Lucylouwho

addiction has no prejudice, no interest in your gender it just wants your hard earned and more.

my advice is simple, there’s no shame in admitting to those who you care for in life that you have addressed the thing that destroys your life, honesty will go a long way to put addiction and it’s lure in check.

 I used the lottery to ‘normalise’ gambling in my household, I would purchase tickets and present them to family members on the premise they might have a bit of luck, when in truth I would buy other tickets and squirrel them away to feed addictions desire and when I had the opportunity to gamble in the bookies I would justify it by telling myself well they gambled why shouldn’t I allow myself.

 The truth of that is plain and simple I am a compulsive gambler 

I cannot win because I cannot stop.

 I have been here over eight years, the length of your gambling life, my own gambling life went back twenty five years previous to that I have only in the past thirteen weeks self excluded from my gambling venues why?

because I left the door open, I was mistaken into the belief that I didn’t need to, that I would be able to gamble again without the outcome being as destructive as before.

Addiction is progressive, please shut the door, every door you can between you and that first bet.

why?

because you are worth it. Abstinence is the way to win. Every day you choose to keep your money in your pocket you will win

my advice as ever enjoy that feeling, addiction hates it 

just for today 

Duncs