Hello,
Back again.
Iv been on and off this addiction train like changing at every tub stop on the London underground.
Iv had therapy, It was useful at the time but it sadly didnt have any lasting effect.
Currently I suppose I am still deeply embedded in the addiciton (50% of my salary gambled tonight as today is pay day). In a way, I dont really care becuase I hate money. I literally hate it. Like I have to get rid of it. Even during the months where I have been able to abstaine from gambling I just spend money excessively on other things. Or I can save money and become obsessive about that and living 'frugally'.
I have no doubt that my gambling addiction has had a negative effect on my relattionship with money but I also think my recovery is hindered by my odd relationship with money.
I suppose I am curious as to whether any other problem gamblers have had this same issue?
Would be really interested in hearing how people may work with this,
(Please no comments about handing my money/ salary etc over I dont have anyone that is willing to do that).
Hi xenedra I think you're right. My cg has very poor relationship with money. Fritters it away, but in contrast is a generous nature. There's always a good and bad side. I had differing opinions with my counsellor too in regards to money management and total abstinence. Have you signed up to gamstop? Is your gambling totally online? This is where you need the blocks. Can you have a card that can't be used online? Can you setup an account where half your money goes to savings, 30 days notice or regular saver that's not online? Anything to slow or restrict access. Were there any strategies from your counselling that you can use? I always like to research or use self help books. You have to break the cycle. It's good you've come back, we all need support.
Hello Xenedra,
Yes my sense of money was totally messed up. At the end of my last gambling run i didn't care about losing it either, in fact i felt relief when it was gone. "Whats another 1k" to add to the others that i'd also never felt the benefit of was my thought process. This is why i started withdrawling cash to pay for everything other than my DD's. So i could see, feel and physically hand over money (and budget). I was just working with numbers on a screen before.
All my gambling was online, all my credit aquired online and any payments where made onto either my debit card or (more likely because i was broke) my credit card. I never saw or spent physical money. Never "wasted" more than i HAD to so i could keep gambling. That repeated over 12 years can't not affect us.
You have to relearn it's value. The fact is that i did hand over my control of my finanaces (i know you said you can't) because i couldn't trust myself. You need to be able to give yourself some real time where you dont have control of any more money than is necessary. MGR made some good points towards that. Try some, one doesn't work? Add another, put multiple blocks in the way don't just try 1 at a time and discount it as unhelpful. You might find its a small combo or a big combo that works for you.
You can do this, i never thought i would turn my life around so much but its possible. You've got it in you to do it you just have to find your way.
All the best.
Hello,
Thanks guys. Yes all my gambling is online, mostly because (as SJW) said real cash to me seemes to tripple its value. il buy a pair of shoes for £40 and it nearly kills me, whereas I can waste a great deal more than than in under 5 mintues.
I really need to break the cycle it is just very difficult.
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