My Story, On The Road

Welcome to the forum.. The chat room opens at 8pm. Put those stops in place hunni. Gamstop for 5 yrs. Are you a online gambler or a bookies or both?

Good luck.
Bella xx

Hi Bella I am mostly an online gambler and have took adventage of being a member of many sites. Thanks for your kind words and advice

Day 2

A bit premature being day 2, I know but being a compulsive gambler I used to spend the night thinking could I afford just £10 more? And now I've registered with Gamstop for a self exclusion period of 5 years and I feel great, honestly I already feel like a different person.

I know it's early days yet, but for me online casinos were a huge part of addication and now I have them away I can now concentrate in paying off my debts, When I recieved my salary I would always say before hand £60 and no more but £60 soon turned to £100 and then £150 before realising I would struggle to pay everything off so I stopped until I got more money into my bank account.

It's a vicious circle but I am now on my way to a better place.

I guess I can now offically call this day 2 after such a simple but effective thing to do using Gamstop to self excluded myself for 5 years, for the very first time I felt like I wanted to tackle more of the issues that are having an severe impact on my life.

Some of course have been there for quite sometime. The death of my father 13 years ago was a big blow for me, he had always said he missed his own parents after they had passed and it really had an impact on me, I was grateful to have a dad like my dad. He died through scrrisos of the liver. Which was cause by excess drinking. My papa took over that father role and he did so very well, I wasn’t that young when my dad passed I was around 22 when he did so, my papa a good age had died of an infection while in hospital (C Diff) it was then I felt everything crashing down around me. Quite literally. The day he passed I had a few alcoholic beverages nothing too heavy with my family, I had been up all night, I then ended up collapsing in the high street, frighting it was for me I thought I was a goner. But I haven’t really got over it. I am now recieving specialist counselling for this and now finally trying to put things in order as such.

Even after self excluding from GamStop I had recieved a text from a gaming site offering me 20 free spins, you know the one 20 spins at 20p stake, to intise you deposit more for you to lose. Then I remembered it takes 24 hours to activate, I did have an e-mail from ***** to say I choose to self exclude myself so I do know it is working.

I had also entered the chatroom for the first time this afternoon, it was a lovely expeirence talking to folk and giving others encouragement to “kick the can”

One step at a time x

Day 3

So apologies for the late day in posting so this is actually Day 4 gamble free, I was keeping my mind occupied yesterday and went out to a work friends house to have a few refreshments. I am also organising my kids birthdays, my wee girl turns one next week and my wee boy is 8 tomorrow.

I had a nice afternoon in the chatroom yesterday only to have to dash as my wee boy wasn’t feeling too well so had to pick him up from school. I was thinking each of our recoveries are unique and indeed i’ve noticed there is a difference in gamble free to a cut down in the amount you gamble, for me l shall still gamble however the amount will be controlled, it’s a lottery in the credit union I’ve joined which you can only have a certain number of entries think it is 15, I choose 5 and I will still participate on that.

Sucess is different for everyone as is everyones goals, it’s important for me to tell the truth when doing this diary and that is what I entend to do, of course I realise some people might think that this is a “cop out” far from it.

£6 a month entry when I spent in excess of £200 a month is a considerable goal for me, I think everyone should be honest with how much he or she gambles as it’s in my opnion an important start to a solid recovery

Day 8

I am still here and more importantly gamble free, it’s been a busy few days for myself and I have had the urge but what a great feeling I had on Monday knowing that I have not gambled.

Monday was a day for me when I would have cash and would usually spend up to £40 a week, I am actually really proud but still aware of the long journey that lies ahead. Gamcare is as previously stated a good tool to use but I still am recieving promotional e-mail’s to a UK based company, it has made me realise however how taken in I was about free bets or free spins all to try and get you to deposit more for a win that never comes, I have also watched a gentleman on youtube who I came across the other day showing a video of him playing slot machines inside some of the UK’s bookmakers. £600 spent in a space of minutes, only to be fortunate to get £500 back. The whole feeling of that would make me sick to the bone, of course I have been at the end of that, but of course I have to put all my focus and attention on my recovery and try and eliminate some of what I did in the past but also to learn from it too

Day 14

I am into double figures things aren’t too great in the house, my wife and I continue both to argue, when I gambled it was my way of escaping, I will not gamble today is my motto and has been the last few days and I’ve been keeping my mind occupied on that.

I have been busy the last week or so trying to do home improvements again there seems to be a arguement about that but indeed it keeps my mind focused on something else.

I read a few folks individual diares and it got me thinking, I am certainly not alone.

I’ve also got my debts into a working order.

Day 15

I am still gamble free, I had a conversation on another diary on here a user called XM he was saying a certain amount sounds as if it isn’t much.

Indeed even £1 is too much, or perhaps less than that. For a compulsive gambler it never stops at just 25p, it ends up £1,£10,£100 you catch my drift.

Although I am proud of being 15 days gamble free there are many challenges ahead, one big one is payday which occurs on Thursday, I cannot remember the last time that I had a pay day that I did not squander most of my wages on. Of course I have the necessary stops in place on-line but my local high street is a heaven for compulsive gamblers like myself who maybe tempted to try and chance their luck, or perhaps more to it throw their money away.

It sickens most people as it did with my fellow gambler XM the fact that you work away for the essentials and too waste it in a matter of minutes if your lucky is very downgrading but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I will not gamble today

Day 17

Just realised I missed a day short, 17 days Gamble free, and a wee boost for my wages too.

Things are on the up personally, I’m starting to feel like my usual self and I’m starting to look forward to my return to work which I hope it will be at the middle of April.

As a compulsive gambler I think it’s critical to try and keep focus and set your eyes on a goal, even if it’s just a small one or indeed Gamble free related as most one’s on here tend to be. I am starting to make hurdles and realise there’s more to life than just gambling the hard working money i’ve earned. I will not gamble today