Need serious help! My life is ruined

Thank you mixer, didn't see your message until now. I am happy I haven't gambled but then I don't have the money to! I've called the helpline before and the person didn't really seem to want to talk to me, I was shocked as it's what the line is for. They said I need to give bank access to someone else and find something else to do as a hobby to fill my time. I know These things but I need more support as I know I have other deep issues going on to have made me even do what I've done. My mind and life has changed so much and I don't know who I am anymore...

hi rach,just thinking and you said a ways back you gamble mostly when your partner is out with his mates.just thinking when you won alot of money did your partner tend to stick around more or did you plan to do things together more?

when you want to gamble put your phone away or call a friend or family member someone you can trust to JUST CHAT lol its not just a chat its a distraction.if you dont have anyone to call or speak to then what about go for a walk?you also say you want to win big youve done it before but youve lost big too and you cant afford to lose any bigger.can you have your network provider remove your internet data?or limit it to like 1gb.can your partner change your internet password so your phone cant hook upto it?and password all the tablets laptops computers in the house?that k9 program sounds quite good.

im running out of ideas other than be handcuffed to the bed left there untill your partner comes home or be straight jacketed and let free when hes back too lol.try and be occupied with your time spend it with other mums or friends family just to help you 🙂

hi rach congratulations on your little bundle of joy 🙂 dont worry its not like your little one is wanting the latest xbox 5000 or ps54.as long as your baby can be fed (can be free if you cant give milk yourself) has sufficient clothing and warmth and somewhere to sleep (guess you still got arms so yep) thats all that matters!your baby wont want money and im damned sure your guy can cope if you do get sentanced if they can prove it in court!

a little releiver for you hun put your feet up on the end of your sofa lay back and think back to your most favourite toy you had as a kid!what was it?do you even still have it?a stuffed toy or blanket of somesort probably!children dont care about cost they care about being loved and attention the stuffed toy you remembered probably cost about £10 back then!buy stuff second hand it doesnt have to be new babys grow out of things so fast go to carboot sales and markets baby meets its all pretty decent stuff been worn for a few weeks then babys grown to big lol its crazy.

try and steer clear of gambling its no good for you enjoy the time you get to spend with your boy and cherish the moments.plan and prepare for the future children at baby stage dont care about costs so neither should you.all the best babe keep strong x

Hi Markie,

I do it when I'm alone and feeling down it's a release. But it makes me so depressed as I never walk way when I'm up the same as none of us do. I never told my partner or anyone I was gambling so when I won I kept it to myself, within days of winning I'd be broke again. I always believed I could win even bigger. If 20k doesn't do it I don't know what will! How pathetic. As I type this my stomach is churning! I threw all that away! I could have cleared debts and been happy but it got the better of me. I am going to install the software but my phone will be cut off soon anyway as I haven't been able to pay the bill for months and have racked up more debt with that. My life just seems so dull now. I had what I wanted but it wasn't enough and even after the baby I still couldn't help myself. One day I hope I can forget any of this ever happened and feel happy like I used too

Rachel you can help yourself. Gambling is an escape...but it is only temporary. If your phone is going to be cut off soon, and you are going to have to cope without it, why not get rid of the SIM card now? You say life seems dull now....what makes it feel like that? I suppose a lot of life is dull, washing, cleaning, work.....what makes it special is how we think of ourselves, and the relationships we have.

Hi rach maybe you need something just for you in your life? Like rhoda said its a temporary escape but its your very own temporary escape gambling is a solitary game that no one else can feel, you bet the money you get the highs and lows.like you said you done 20k and feel bad but why did you keep going? Because win or lose it was yours and only yours sorry if it comes across as babbling s***e its kinda hard to explain.maybe finding something you can do just for yourself noone else just you to make it your thing no boyfriend no baby but have 1 or 2 days/nights a week you get to do this just for you.

Hi Rach

I was reading your story last night. It's crazy how this addiction can take control of our lives. I am not in a good way today because I lost a lot of money this morning, even after reading about your situation before bed. It's madness. But I am proof that you can stop. My life got dramatically better and I've manged to achieve a lot in the last few years without gambling. You are a good person and you can beat this addiction. We just need to take it one day at a time. Everyday gamble free gives us a little more love and trust for ourselves. You have a whole future to look forward to.

I wish you and your son a happy gamble free 2017

Stay Strong

Thanks all, I've had a date for my case, it's in February 🙁 really scared about what's going to happen but have to face up to it now. I can't believe I've still been doing it after everything that's happened! Everyone around me deserves better than this. If it all comes out publicly then I'm going to move away from here and start again, I wouldn't handle the gossip and looks of disappointment. I do need to do more for myself but I feel so low I don't want to do much at all. I have found myself being nasty and moody with my partner as I have it in my head that he doesn't really love me Anymore and I think he's going to leave me. I have money in my account and I haven't gambled even though I've thought of it so I guess that's a start!

Westsider - how did you lose money yesterday if you haven't gambled for years? Has something made you go back to it?

Hi Rach87,

I just want to let you know that your story saved me from gambling today. In the last few days I read it all 98 posts and I do think about your situation and somehow in the last few days you are always in my mind (in tube for instance or when I am waiting on a queue in ASDA).

I hope everything will end up fine. I am not going to give you any advice, first: I am not an expert and second other members already gave you really good advises. Be strong! I will continue reading yours development and rehabilitation.

Hello stopimmid!

I Am so pleased to hear that you haven't gambled after reading my story. Please don't go back to it no matter how hard things may be. It truly is a mugs game. I have still had the urges but I've kept myself busy with other things, important things that I should have been focusing on in the first place.

I don't know what's going to happen to me yet but I will get through this and make sure I never allow this to happen again.

If you need to get anything off your chest this is the place to do it. I am so glad I posted my story on here. It won't change what's going to happen in court but I feel stronger having so many others around. And now knowing I've helped someone else makes it even more worthwhile.

Best of luck on your journey!

Hi Rach

I let my guard down. I thought I could handle a little flutter and I was a victim of circumstance. (I got stuck near a casino.) It wasn't just a couple of days ago. It's been gradually getting out of control since the casino a few months ago. Gradually swolling me up again. I didn't have enough blocks in place & the memories of the pain i'd caused myself had faded. It won't happen again. I'm more determined than ever. I also think there are some more underlying issues, so i'm going to get some councilling.

I like the sound of your last post. There is more self assurance in your words. Feel proud that you haven't gambled and over come the urges for another day. I will be following your journey. All the best

Aw I am glad you are more determined than ever to stop this! It's been eating away at me all over Christmas especially as I have my court date but I need to stop getting upset and face what I have done. The hardest part will be telling everyone if it comes out, I'm so ashamed.

I am getting so annoyed at how commercialised gambling sites have become. I have seen about 5 in the past few ad breaks. I still think "oh I may win on those free spins" but I haven't joined any more sites.

It's so nice to know we can turn to this site for support. Although I have so many lovely people around me they just don't get it. Not sure if I would mind if I hadn't gone through it myself.

I really hope I can enjoy life again, I don't have the motivation or positive attitude like I once did. Maybe because I'm in fear of what's to come?

Have any of those who have recovered managed to live a normal happy life after gambling?

I'm really struggling today. Really want to gamble and I can't shake the feeling! So worried with my case coming up. I need to stop but I always get drawn back 🙁

Keep strong Rach

Gambling got you into this mess and with your case coming up it is hard to fight the urge to get lost in the slots to forget

You know deep down you would feel like dirt after.

Keep strong and keep focused and maybe join the chat later x

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