new beginning

Don't be too hard on yourself toad, you have got straight back up and are continuing your journey, with being wiser now.

Dust yourself off and keep going,

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hi Toad,

Sorry to hear about your mishap but glad you are back posting again.

Remember to break the triangle. No money / no card with you means you cannot gamble in the bookies.

Also location. Find somwhere else to have lunch. Anywhere but the bookies.

Keep posting and stick at it.

Best wishes

Day 1.

Yes you guessed it. I ended up chasing my loss on thursday and i went back into the bookies on Friday.

So i managed to get by today. I spent the day with the wife.

Sorry for letting my followers down. Tomorrow is Sunday so no bookies open.

It looks like i must carry no money from now on. At least a few days anyway. I feel disappointed with myself.

Okay toad lets beat 8 days gamble free. Let's inspire others. Toad don't be a failure.

Good luck everyone in their recovery. Gambling is the devils tool. Please read my diary and don't copy me.

Toad.

Day 2

Good morning everyone. I had a nice breakfast of sausages and egg, a cup of tea. I woke up feeling rotten but i am coming around now 🙂

No gambling urges. Today I will be gamble free. Tomorrow I will be careful. A lot of my losses have been on a Monday for some reason.

I need to be strong. Good luck everyone in their recovery.

Toad.

Hi just wondering why have you cultivated this gambling toad moniker -thing..?

Louis

Hello Cardhue,

Like all toads I am toothless with Bulging eyes and a warty appearance surrounded by a green slimy membrane.

You can call me toad. LOL.

Only joking. I just made up the name instead of using my real name. How cunning am I?

My moods do hop up and down as a by-product of gambling. A toad would have a better life. A toad can't play FOBTs and it sits on a lily pad and relaxes. We all could learn alot from a real toad if it could talk....

Regards,

Toad.

Morning toad,

Thought I would drop by and wish you the best for this week. You know what barriers are needed and I am sure you will implement them

Best wishes

Good luck for the week ahead toad. Only thing I would ask us "what will be different this time"? Have you self excluded from those places you relapsed in? When you say "you think you should carry no money for a few days " then my advice is that you MUST not carry money until you are confident that you are able to abstain. Sorry to sound like a broken record but I am 140 days in and still ensure that one corner of the time, money, location triangle is broken. For the first 100 days, I made sure that 2 out of 3 were unavailable. I went belt and braces!

As I say, have a good week but make it easier not to gamble than to gamble!

Hello folks,

Thankyou aswell sbissstopping for your good advice and Balvaid.

Okay today couldn't be worse. £370.00 done in on a FOBT. Disgusted with myself.

I am taking a short day tomorrow and going for some beers.

My goodness will I ever learn.

So after 13 years gambling I got a refund and was debt free. Did being debt free even last a week? No is the answer. So i now owe £550 on overdraft.

The sad thing is i want my wages paid back into my own account again. It has being going to the wifes account the last year and a half. Can i ask people should i do this or is it a silly thing to do. ? I think i know in my heart but i want to take control again.

Tomorrow is day 1.
Please find the strength to overcome this. I pray everybody has a gamble free day.

Toad.

Hi,

Truthfully and honestly that is a very very very bad idea. Your actions show you are not currently in control.

Leave it till next year - which isn't too far away. Little steps Toad.

No money access = no FOBT.

Best wishes

Hi Balvaird,

Thanks for your advice. You are experienced and i value your opinion.

I just feel useless. I work and no money in my own account. I know its safe in wifes and we do go on holidays etc buy groceries and pay the normal bills.

I feel vulnerable at the minute. I am due one more refund and that will clear my overdraft for good.

Tomorrow is day 1.
Thankyou for listening.

Toad.

Hi Toad,

Thank you for your kind words on my diary.

I know how you feel as I have been in that position and only recently have regained my card. Take a step back, breathe, relax and think about "the money is safe". You are fortunate to have a small debt and just think about something for a minute.

This weekend the clocks go back and the countdown to the festive period begins. Maybe the best gift you can give to your wife is Toad being over 60 days gamble free by Xmas.

Best wishes

Hi again toad. Gonna be a bit blunt here! Why do you wish to have free access to your money? I am assuming it is because you may wish to have unrestricted access without your wife knowing. I can only see bad things happening if you allow yourself such freedom. It is quite clear that you are not able to control things at the moment and I fear that removing a barrier will have only one outcome! On another note, taking a short day tomorrow might be a good idea but will going out for beers help? Your post #19 links your gambling to having a few beers! Sorry to be blunt but I would suggest that you use the time to discuss things with your wife and agree a plan for how you will achieve your recovery one day at a time!

I hope tomorrow is a good day for you!

Thankyou folks,

I really appreciate your good advice and the support. I totally agree with the drink issue but can I say something.

I had numerous payday loans of approx 50k over 4 years. I was lent the money when i was in debt and i took.a case against them and was awarded 10k.

The thing is i firstly set about clearing my debts. I had a credit card, overdraft and a loan. I paid my debt of 4k. I give my wife 2.5k to look after for me.

I give my mum and dad 1k as they helped me in the past but i never told them i gambled.

My friends lent me money down the years. So i took my mates out and got them drinks all afternoon as a thankyou.

Tomorrow my 3rd and final mate will get a few beers for helping me out. As a token of thanks.

That will be the drinks cut down after this. I need to now focus on stopping gambling.
As Balvaird said stop 60 days coming up to xmas.

I don't want to come on here and be a failure. It's not fair on others if my diary becomes a farce or one big lie.

This toad needs to leap at olympic heights to overcome the satans FOBTs. Jump around, jump up jump up and get down. Jump, jump everybody jump!

Good luck everyone in their recovery.
Toad.

That's a cool reason to go out drinking but how about telling him? You can hand him your card/money to ensure you don't do anything daft afterwards & then when these final thanks are paid get those barriers so high that even an Olympic standard pole vaulting Toad cannot leap over them! Satan or Mr Gamble as I call him (he looks a lot like you actually) can sit on your back all day long but with the gambling triangle broken, he can't make you waiver!

I know why you want your money back, I would be the same, I was the same whilst active, I didn't want anyone knowing my business or more importantly how much I had really lost this time! Total transparency is frightening, reaching out & asking for professional help is something that other people need, "not me, I can beat this, I don't really have a problem!" You have done fantastically well to dig yourself out of that hole but the journey back down into it is effortless, we don't want you to be a failure so kiss goodbye to all thoughts of financial fortunes & riches & start living the life ones - ODAAT