new beginning

Hi Garyl1976,

My mum is being kept in hospital tonight for observation. She took dizzy spells today and a sore arm.

It makes you think about life in general. I am a bit worried.

I never did tell my mum and dad about my gambling problem. I didn't want to let them down and stress them.

This year hasn't been great apart from the house move. We will get by.

I wish everyone well.
Toad.

Hi I'm new here and have just finished reading your diary how do I start my own?

Sorry to hear that Toad...I truly am. I've mentioned on my diary before that my biggest regret is not stopping gambling while my mum was ill in hospital. I was still lying and stealing from her while she was in her in final days in Feb 2014 ; I had told her I had quit gambling and was attending GA...both lies.

I had told my parents I had stopped gambling. My dad also has severe Dementia now but I am able to fully help him where I can. No deception, no lies.

Jake15 wrote: Hi I'm new here and have just finished reading your diary how do I start my own?

Hello Jake15,

Welcome to the forum.

To start a new thread, go the section you want to post in, (Recovery diaries, if you want to start a diary), and scroll down to the bottom of the page to find the blue button that says 'New topic', click on this and a new thread will be generated.

If you have any technical problems please email forumadmin@gamcare.org.uk for further guidance.

Take care,

Forum Admin.

Hi All,

Jake admin answered your question. They are always very helpful so don't be afraid to contact them.

So this morning i had a coffee and toast with marmalade. Trying to eat a little healthier.

No gambling recently and i have accepted my wife still needs to look after the finances. It means she isn't worrying am i gambling and i am not working for nothing!!!!

I'm training a new start at the minute. Also learned yesterday that my boss has breast cancer. Very upsetting as she has been so good to me and understanding. I pray she recovers. She is the boss i told i had suical thoughts but i never told her i had gambling issues. I really miss her in work already.

Anyway going out for a friends 50th today. Have a few beers. Taking a half day.

Also today our first mortgage payment comes out for the new house.

BOOM !!!!

Take care folks. Stay away from Mr Turf he is the enemy.

Stay safe on the lily pad...
Toad.

gambler.toad wrote: Day 0,

Lost 5k today on fobt. Terrible day. Feeling numb.

I need back here for recovery.
Toad.

Morning toad this was the post I asked you about in the chatroom
I didn't think I had imagined it

I know your upset that your wife has had the financial control for a long time but how did you manage to get that much money if she has the finances?
I think it's time put some real measures in place not pretend ones
I really felt for you the other night
And I understand your in a bad place
It will only get worse if you don't act on the barriers now
Stay on the lilly pad toad

Morning All,

Last morning at the hotel then it's back to the pond and on my lily pad.

I have to say i was a bit disappointed last night in the chatroom.

Unfortunately a member found it amusing to fire personal insults directed at me. Thankfully admin sent the individual packing.

I have to say a few people were hostile towards toad. The thing is it doesn't bother me. Maybe they were trolls. I just get on with my recovery.

Why can't people be nice. It's nice to have manners too.

Anyway things are good. I feel pampered after that break. I spent most of day in the spa with mrs toad.

Thankyou for all the good people who supported me on gamcare.
The rest I don't care if they throw it on the fobt. They don't take my advice as they know better.

If they could change the record of time money location. Getting boring now.

Toad......

HI Toad

I read your diary here and there as i find you a bit of a rare fish and your off the float more times than a milk man!

Somthing this morning made me write somthing on you diary..... "The rest I don't care if they throw it on the fobt."

That is a very sly statment! Even if you dont like someone you shouldnt wish the worst on someone like that!

Someone could say i hope a storm hits your pond and your lillypad exploeds.... Or we hope a bird comes down and eats you.... But lets not be like that! We are all in recovery together and it should be about supporting one another not fighting!

Take care Toad and all the best with staying away from the bookies and FOBTS

gambler.toad wrote: Morning All, Last morning at the hotel then it's back to the pond and on my lily pad. I have to say i was a bit disappointed last night in the chatroom. Unfortunately a member found it amusing to fire personal insults directed at me. Thankfully admin sent the individual packing. I have to say a few people were hostile towards toad. The thing is it doesn't bother me. Maybe they were trolls. I just get on with my recovery. Why can't people be nice. It's nice to have manners too. Anyway things are good. I feel pampered after that break. I spent most of day in the spa with mrs toad. Thankyou for all the good people who supported me on gamcare. The rest I don't care if they throw it on the fobt. They don't take my advice as they know better. If they could change the record of time money location. Getting boring now. Toad.

...You come on here making up story's on a daily basis. Just to get a rise out of people. ... You cry you are sick of your wife having your money yet. You some how get your hands on 500 quid weekly ...

Hey toad Havnt bothered commenting on your diary lately as I felt all the advice you were given was falling on deaf ears...or like water of a toads back ! And ..for what it's worth I feel a lot of what you write is sometimes not quite the truth.....maybe I'm wrong. ...only you know that....one thing I do know is....if what you write is all truth.. then your the unlucky one .....you ...like alot of us on here could be enjoying an open and honest recovery.... I'm knowbody special....maybe you think I'm rude talking to you like this....I'm not...just saying what I feel....and as the one with 200 odd days under my belt ....I feel I've got the right to say it... So.....I'll still wish you well with your so called recovery....but again...if I'm honest I imagine your diary will never be any different. ...sad....not for me....just you and the Mrs...

The only person that will be sticking money into the fobt will be you. Not the good people on here giving you great advice.

Firstly my apologies for the way I worded my request for you to refrain from conversing with me all I said was I'd rather platt s h I t than talk to you

After reading your diary for the last 11 months I thought you could had sense of humour and could take a joke sorry if that's wrong just the impression Ive got from reading your diary.

Anyway all the best in your recovery you seem to have turned a corner in the last 6 days.

KTF

Having read most of your diary ...I've wanted to comment to you in the past but was conscious of the fact that I might be getting hold of the wrong end of the stick so I held fire as others seem to be taken in by your statements, and not being a chat roomer I've no clue what's disscussed and what you post that gets people's backs up.....but if you are a genuine gambler looking for help then good luck with your journey

Please don't think you've found another one who's risen to your bait, coz it couldn't be further from the truth...I've been Swimming in your pond beneath your Lilly pad for a long time now and never bitten yet.

Seriously, you say you went to a mirror and saw a Toad looking back, hence the name...you need to return to that mirror and take another look...

Ginger

Dear forum users,

While it is sometimes constructive to criticise the behaviour of another user, (In the context of sharing peer support with sensitivity and consideration), it is not appropriate to attack the personality of another user, and we do not allow personal insults on the forum. Please avoid doing this, or we may be obliged to place your accounts on moderation.

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/chatroom/chatroom-and-forum-etiquette#.VGOJC19FC71

Remember the purpose of the forum is to share peer support for recovery from problem gambling. Take care of yourselves and share support with each other when you feel you can do that genuinely.

Kind regards,

Forum Admin.

Surely ADMIN ...
YOU need to protect the majority of us here who have all tried countless times to help toad
To have it all thrown back at us all the time and with " polite " sarcastic digs which slip under radar....plus continuase remarks about gambling....we can't all be wrong !