New beginnings!

Lucy, cooey, where are youuuuuu?? I'm trying to whisper as I'm guessing you might have a banging headache?!

Hope you had a great night mate.. come back soon buddy.. this place is missing your cheery, radiant smile!!

xxxxxxxxx

Lucy.. where you gone again? I was waiting for you to update your diary before responding to your post..

Power suits... hmmm I don't do suits! Actually, I'm a casual kinda gal 😉

Was just thinking.. I used to work in an industry that wrecks lives.. and now I'm going to work in one that enhances them! Oh the irony!!!

I was cheering on Greece for you the other night.. one of my best mates is Greek so she had a little meze and beer soiree round hers.. not a great result but you did well to get that far..

Anyways mate, enjoy the rest of your weekend xxxx

Hope you are feeling as good as you did last Thursday. Keep us updated.

NT

HI Lucy,

Hope you had a great weekend, Hows the hangover if there anything like mine you will still have it, god mine last 2 days now lol...

Blondie xxxx

Good Morning

First time on my diary for a few days, i have been finding it difficult to write.

I have tried to support others but for myself i'm not sure what i wanted to put.

I am still gamble free and have no inclination to be otherwise at present.

Friday i was good during the day , the evening Greece were playing poor and i just felt awful, sooooo many adverts for new sites, found a way to access then went on, i did not want to gamble but just , i don't know really, i can't explain it, i really really did not want too but could not stop myself going on a site (was i testing myself?) Did NOT gamble but have been sooooo angry since.

New blocks put in place now and feeling a little more settled than before.

I think i'm angry and disappointed because i had started to convince myself i wasn,t really a cg and that all the problems at home caused me to gamble but now they were passing it would be ok then i go and do that!

So the rest of the weekend i have been battling with myself, i really don't put up that much of a good argument !

Today i know i'm a cg, i also know my addictive personality does not help, i will now try to channel that into something positive, i know i do not want to gamble and i know i need time now to understand what has happenend over the last 16 years.

I am not down , just angry.

As i have a specialism in Anger Management i find it ironic! , but know the feeling is subsiding slowly and i will get there.

I still went out sat and had a really good night so this is not consuming me, it's just another part of my recovery and as it takes time i need to be patient!

So today

I'm happy that i still remain bet free

I'm happy my life is moving in the right direction even if a little slower than i would like

Today i will not bet

Today i am smiling , i know i have made soooo much progress and continue even when times are confusing.

Keep Strong all

Smiling angry Lucy xxxxxxx

HI Lucy,

Those little devils eh ?, they pop up when we least expect it like most things its tough to find that easy medium where we are aware of what we are cg's but also that we dont live and breath it every day. Maybe you where testing yourself ? Ive had thoughts along the lines of "Oh you dont get many urges therefore your not a CG, therefore just one go wont do any harm". I know its my addiction playing with my head. !!!!

What is key is that what ever it was a test, temptation, you didnt gamble, and maybe its like a shot over the bow, it didnt do any damage as such but you know its there and therefore your aware again that its a danger.

Add it as another piece in the body armour lucy to continue building upon what you have already.

Have a great day.

Keep smileing.

Blondie xxxx

Lucy....You really shouldn't be angry with yourself....You got a site up.....BUT ...you didn't gamble!

I think you should take great pride in all that you have achieved so far . I think it also goes to show that we should all be on our guard and not to get too complacent, that little ol' devil is just waiting to pounce!

Keep going Lucy........and most of all keep Smiling!!

As an afterthought....try typing smiling without smiling.....LOL

Sue xxxxxxx

Hi mate,

Just quickly cos I'm on a cig break on my phone.

I was where you are now a few weeks ago. Angry is fine mate. If you times that by a thousand, add in self-hatred, sadness, regret and probably a few more debts you will realise how you would have felt if you actually gambled!

But you didn't! You stayed strong and you are still smiling today!!

Not bad eh??

Catch you later buddy

Xxxx

Lucy you didnt gamble thats the main thing great to hear you have new blocks in place beause theres no point us trying to be a martyr and see if we can do it without blocks.

I in the past i have found it v hard to accept that something i loved i could not control it was hard 4 me as a human being to accept i just couldnt control it as much as i tried.

But now i accept it and realise i want a better life and 4 that 2 happen i have to try arrest my dirty dis ease a day at a time.

Dont worry bout greece ireland wer even worse so at least you got to the knockout stage we conceded 9goals in 3 games but sure who cares it was all a bit of craic haha

Lucy...

...you...

...did...

...not...

...gamble.

These four words really say all I want to say.

NT

Hiya lucy...

You made the right choice hun...you didn't do it so try not to beat yourself up...like you said acceptance is key...you will have urges but you didn't act on them so that is fantastic.

I had anger urges over the weekend but didn't act on them...the old me would have gone off like a bottle of pop but ii exercised choice just as you did...

All here for you Lucy and keep posting lovely...

hugs and here

Rach and doo....

xxxxx

Hi ya,

As I am sure you read , over the last few weeks several of the wonderfully people on this site, have had some pretty strong urges. ( including myself)

But you did not act on them , so that is fabulous.x millions. After my last I was not angry , really had no feeling one way or the other. Saw as part and parcel of being an addict. The same thing happened months ago and sent me into a deep depression for days, I was sooooo cross that I had had the urge and contemplated acting on it. Really felt I had let myself down.

By not letting that urge win you have grown stronger.

Another brick in your wall ., between you and a bet.

Keep smiling honey , cause you make us all do the same.

Great big fat hugs,

Dusty xxxxxx

Lucy,

I seem to be following a fairy around the forum tonight,I will add this my dear friend, please please be kind to yourself you are gamble free lucy and should be massively proud of that fact.

I tonight to you raise my "virtual glass" to you Well done keep making that choice and always remember that triangle. TIME-MONEY-LOCATION take one away and the punt is impossible no need to test yourself,you passed that one

TODAY NO BET!

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi buddy,

Just quickly.. tennis, LOVE it! But... it was largely responsible for me landing on this site(!) So, have stayed away from it for the last few months but can't miss out on Wimbledon!

I have a plan though which involves staying away from the order of play and sky plus! Watch it when I get home from work knowing I can't have a bet! That should (hopefully) keep the urges at bay!!

Anyways mate, counting down to your 4 months in 5 days? I will have a drink for you tonight, although am not going to go overboard!!

Have a great day mate and keep smiling!

xxxx

Hi Lucy,

Just wanted to say a quick hi and bye, glad to see you are beating this, even if i's not always easy. I'm just off to take the dog out for a walk and get the wind in my hair and shout loudly because I can. Good innit?

You take care and best wishes,

Rose

x