NEW DAWN , NEW DAY , FEELING GOOD !

Hey Mr fish. .
Looks like the 5 fold v****a is going viral 🙂
🙂
🙂
Lol...mwahhhh

Thanks Alan as always, I never thought how strange it would be for you to read as you have walked every step with me. For that I will always be thankful couldn't of asked for a better person to walk alongside.

KTF xx

Is twernt acceptable ?
As in...if it twernt there twood all fall out !

Oh...yes it is !

I'd have to be trigger mate.

Favourite quote
You said it was open 24 hour's
Yes but I didn't say it was open at night
Or Ibe had this brush 20 years it's had 6 new head and 5 new handles

That loxxie is a right cheeky one she's spent the day getting quotes off me for walls. And pricing up fish from your shop.
It seems that me and you will be looking after these horse nuts whilst she sits down on her phone
Spreading love on gc

Afternoon Dear Diary :)) It's been a while since I wrote upon your pages with a post of epic proportions so strap yourself in :)).

All good gambling wise and no real thoughts or urges regarding placing a bet anymore :)) those words make me smile so much as a year ago I really couldn't have gone a day without my fix , that being said I'm not complacent and know full well I'll always be a Compulsive Gambler so the blocks I put in place when I arrived here will stay firmly in place :)).

Been on a bit of a health kick the last few weeks and am Low Carbing it at the moment as a diabetic who's not on any med's my diet is the way I choose to control it and Low carbing is the perfect way to shed those unwanted pound's , I've dropped a dress size already and can almost fit back into my 1970's " Birmingham Bag's " ( it's trousers for those that wern't around then ) , when I think back to walking along the street in them , they had 30 inch flares , a 5 button 6 inch waistband and pockets on the side's of the leg's which would have comfortably held a family sized loaf , combined with my Ben sherman massively rounded coller shirt and 4 inch platform shoes I must have looked incredible in my Bottle Green one's as I nervously looked around incase a gust of wind decided to catch my flare's and whisk me off into a scene reminiscent of the tornado in the Wizard of Oz ?.

I can remember calling for my first true love Vivien long , looking like Austin powers with the bad teeth to match , she had as I remember some really thick eyebrows ( not quite unibrow ) but pretty close and I always thought she was frowning at me , maybe she was ? but it didn't last long , shame really as her dad owned the local sweet shop near to where I lived but I guess some things are just not meant to be >.

Had a guy in my shop last night , local fella been coming in for many years and as alway's we have a bit of a chinwag when he's here , I asked how his day had been and straight away recognised a face that used to be the one I wore , he said he'd not been in the bookies for a few weeks but decided to " try his luck " again and had won yesterday about £1200 out of the Fobt machine which dear diary your more than aware was my downfall , He'd gone back in last night and was another £700 up and then the machine started as it always does to wreak its revenge and gtook all the £700 back plus the £ 1200 from earlier ? , he said all the way coming to my shop he was cursing himself and couldn't believe how he'd " Done it all back " , he knew I'd stiopped and asked me how I'd managed it , I explained a little but I think really it just fell on deaf ears just as it always did on me for along time , I think unless were totally ready to stop we'll alway's just keep finding an excuse to chase those losses and as they say " Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes " , When he'd left , late last night I started thinking about how gambling had affected my life and remembered sometghing I'd tucked away for a long time .

Growing up gambling was all around me really , My grandparents liked a daily bet and would always pick 4 or 5 horses in the morning and check the results in the paper the next morning , I remember their table always had betting slips strewn accross it and those little bookies pencils as it was in those day's , every morning I'd visit they'd have form guides from the paper out and be scribbling away , the local bookies was only a couple of doors away and funnily enough the son of the owner married my auntie some years later :)) talk about keep it in the family :)) , I then had memories of my parents , Dad wasnt bothered and apart from the Derby or national wouldn't really gamble much , mum on the other hand was a die hard gambler and much like her parents would also gamble daily on the horses and always seemed to win with her accumilators , I now know it wasn't always like that as we never talk about the losing day's do we ? .

It got quite bad with my mum and I remember one morning coming out of my room to find a dressing gown belt cut in half . one piece hanging from my bedroom door and the other hanging from the door opposite , nobody would offer an explenation and as I was only young I didn't really care anyway so wasn't going to question my parents was I ? .

It wasn't until many years later after my dad had passed away I spoke wth my mum about what had happened , she'd alway's been honest with me and came forward with the answers . Apparently She'd got into a fair bit of debt over her gambling , £ 500 is not much by today's standard's but back in the early 70s for a working class family it was a fair chunk of dosh , obviously my now uncle had taken over the family turf accountant business and he was also now mum's brother in law so I think he was in a bit of a difficult place , he probably didn't want to say no to mum as it was family nor did he want to break her trust by speaking with my dad about the deb't . Mum it turn's out had had what would now be considered a breakdown I suppose and had dreamt that someone was coming to get me over the debt and had tried to tie my door shut so It didn't happen , she'd then relised what she was doing and gone downstairs to get a carving knife to cut the belt from the door, this is when my dad woke up and thought she was going to kill me ! . It all came out and dad went to the safe and paid my uncle back the money and told him not to allow her to bet like that again . She never stopped betting but dad from that day put her on a sort of daily allowance , so maybe the restricting cash that we use now is nothing new after all ? .

Since the day I arrived here I've never blamed anyone for what I did , some choose to blame their addiction on the industry but for me it's always been my choice to place a bet or not and although I'm still not looking for a Scapegoat , maybe , just maybe there's something to be said for genetics after all ? .

WoW ! that was a long and quite sensible post for me and no sign or mention of a " V " or " O " anywhere LoL !.

To anyone reading , sorry if I made you doze off , stay safe and have a great day !

Alan x

My family were big into gambling too Alan so maybe its osmething in us thats passed on?

More importantly well done on 415 days. You're a popular figure on your site and i like reading your positive updates.

And good luck shedding the few pounds, im trying to do the same myself and its hard work :0

Cheer's Stephen , yeah I definately think there could be something in the family tree , all I can remember as a kid was when people were happy and winning , we know that's not always true but it's always the good stuff that seems to stick out so maybe in adult life were just trying to get those feelings back for ourselves ?

Thank's Buddy , catch up with you soon , stay safe mate :))

Love the post Alan! I think there's something about genetics my dad could easily have ended up a cg because he and my mum years ago fell out over his obsession with casinos and he also gambled away the first rent money just before my mum was supposed to travel out to meet him when they first got married! He had to get a loan to cover it. And my grandad on my dads side was an alcoholic. My mum told my dad in no uncertain terms if he ever went to a casino again she'd divorce him and that stopped him. i think there's defo something in the genetics idea. Made me laugh imagining you in those trousers and shoes! Have a good night Alan Lu x

Greetings from my sun lounger Uncle George. Not trying to be all sensible and boring (can't help myself sometimes) but just an observation....there's lots of deep feelings in you (as there are in all of us). Memories, experiences, buried feelings. It's good to get them out and I like that you shared them here. I know you like being the jokey bloke and come across as though nothing bothers you, but I'm fairly sure that you have a softer (deeper) side and I think it's important that you share that too. Interesting how when you're sharing a very important memory you still surround it with joking about. There's something in psychology about downgrading/downplaying our feelings by taking away from them by joking about them. Just an observation. I read somewhere that after the first year the real recovery really starts....as you delve deeper....but I don't want to scare you by that idea! Anyway, my pina colada awaits...cheers! And thanks for sharing x

4 inch heals and flares. w*f we're they hand me downs from second world war children? Thank god I was born in the 80s 🙂

You know what they say al. No cards before marbs
Triple kisses

ALAN 135 wrote:

Cheer's Stephen , yeah I definately think there could be something in the family tree , all I can remember as a kid was when people were happy and winning , we know that's not always true but it's always the good stuff that seems to stick out so maybe in adult life were just trying to get those feelings back for ourselves ?

Thank's Buddy , catch up with you soon , stay safe mate :))

thanks for your posts Alan. It is encouraging when members support each other. thanks for your cheery disposition. tri

Hi Alan,

Thank you for your message and encouragement. Great to read that all is well with yourself.

Best wishes.

Dave

Hi Alan just read some of the posts on Loxxies thread lol! Fair cheered me up lol my mind is boggling! Lu x