New diary

Graham,

You rock! thanks for being you.

Take care,

f x

Thanks for that freda, it is really nice.

Well business is pretty slack. That was always a trigger for me but not any more, oh no. Just do not want to go back to chucking money away.

The course is going slowly, the old brain doesn`t take in like it should but no problem really. Plenty of time to do it.

On the other side of things, my wife, came out of her office based work, fed up with it and trained to do home care. Contracted for 30 hours, yea right, there`s 70 hours if she wants it so very busy there.

It`s so strange in a way, having thrown money away for years I have become so tight with cash. I have other CG buddies in recovery who say the same. We joke that we have become CSs, compulsive savers, lol.

You know, this is a difficult period in the economy right now and yet the same old gambling rubbish is pumped at us, day after day. I find it all very sad that the advertising media dresses it up as exciting in a way that I never experienced before. To me it`s dangerous the way they try to " normalise " it.

I`m enjoying a beer right now with " safe " units emblazoned on the tin. Until recently I smoked, accompanied by pictures of rotting lungs on the packaging. Why is our gambling industry allowed to go on as unfettered as it is? Oh cynical old me, could it be yet another way to raise more tax revenues, I guess so.

I popped into the meeting tonight and it`s with sadness that so many youngsters are saddled with debt at such an early age. Here and other sites I visit, I see the same thing happening. It`s a worry but then life today seems so much more risky then when I was a young ( and may I say, a very hip dude lol).

Anyway friends, just a bit of a ramble. Stay strong.

Hi Graham

Just wanted to pop in and say thanks for taking the time to read my diary and posting. Well done on the non smoking and the length of time since your last gambled speaks for itself. Gambling seems to be everywhere doesnt it, train stations, cafes, take aways etc, even my local takeaway has now put fruit machine in, you know me, i feel like smashing it up lol!

Anyway mate, take care.....you have inspired many im sure about that..........ands

Hi Graham

Thanks so much for your support and posts, means a lot to little old me, i will get back on the wagon and join you and many others...

Take care mate and thanks again...andrew

Well not much to report. Business is slow but it would be but I am grateful that we are earning enough and doing OK. Struggling with my course but I am discovering new things. There`s no rush.

House is a tip as we are in the middle of a refurb and various jobs are not completed. The works being done by a mate who seems this week to have gone awol. I do know that he met a new lady at the weekend and I am sure this is the problem. Hey ho. Just have to wait.

I was pleased that Ands posted this morning and he is in a positive mode. Many times I have spoken to people who have had a slip. To me it`s no big thing. In Ands case it looks as if he has had something positive out of it.

After quite a long while of being gambling free I decided that a few quid won`t hurt.I have to say that the gambling experience was different. I found that over the odd slips that I had over a period of years.

A real change in my thinking and finding here and Safe Harbor it was my decision to quit for good. Gambling was something that I didn`t want featuring in my life.

During the years that I played almost everyday there was never a financial wipe out but years of drip, dripping money and it came to a head when my old business failed.

That business required borrowed money and a clever balancing act because of, for us, highish overheads. I took my eye off the ball and quickly the situation became unstable.

My little business these days has nearly no fixed over heads so I can draw in or expand operations as the market requires.

Tbh, my real passion is to become a debt advisor but it has proven, despite exploring various avenues, so far a dead end. I guess it`s about funding.

Well nice sunny day here and I hope anyone reading this is OK.

Graham,

You are a star and a half. Your presence in this forum is a valuable one to me, and im sure everyone else.

I took your lead earlier and looked to the sky. Its blue and sunny, Im safe, Im healthy, and Im proud to be able to say Im doing my best. What else would I want?

I hope you continue to recover from your episode of depression. It is so debilitating at times, but sounds like you have the key - patience. It will pass.

Thanks again,

f x

Hey G

Just though I pop in and say Hi. I am still reading but have been organising myself and steps 1 to 4 of my recovery.

Glad you are here.

Love and Hugs

God Bless

Charly

Hi Graham

Just wanted to thankyou for your support this week and for your kind and caring postings on my diary. You have made me sob with your kindness and thoughts.

Thanks again mate, i hope you have a good weekend, take care andrew

Hi Graham,

I'm really happy that you decided to start a new diary, it's inspiring for me and i'm sure everyone here to read on how far you've come both not gambling and smoking!!!

Although i haven't posted on your diary as yet i have been keeping up with your diary and many others but never have the right words or whatever to actually reply, hoping to change that though

enough waffling

Hope your doing ok today

take care

Jane x

Hi Graham

Just wanted to thank you for your kind words tonight in chat. Im just worried about my counselling sorry i was so distant.

Thanks again for all your support i really appreciate it

Take care mate, andrew

Hi all. Just closing week 9 of not smoking, vaping now on my e-cigarette. Defo addicted to electricity.

Funny old day really. My wife was working and I was supposed to do some research for a new customer, which I hasten to add, i took an instant dislike to, cocky prat.

Went for a quick beer at my local before dinner and the land lady was a bit arsey to me. That annoyed me. Earlier in the week I and a guy I employed, working to refurb our house went to the pub to do a couple of jobs, using plant that I had hired, and they couldn`t be bothered to thank me for it. Oh well, I know that they are close to going bust, I felt that pain some years ago so all forgiven but but felt a bit put down in front of friends.

Another annoyance is a letter sent from our local Labour counsellor. Written as an individual and using the electoral roll, accused certain residents of manufacturing false rumours regarding a homeless family rehoused in our area. It`s caused a real stink as we are not aware of any rehoused family and why should we care? I couldn`t care less if they are from Wales, Somalia or Venus, as long as they behave themselves.

It makes me wild because in the 80`s I spent a lot of time as a Labour activist and I have become very angry by this lot of middle class arm chair Socialists who through vested interest have all but destroyed the fabric of our country.

I did ask about attending the Gamcare conference then I happened to see who were the speakers. Oh my, am I right in saying one is the minister of sport, vested tax collection interests or what? Frankly I couldn`t be bothered.

I said in chat tonight that I still wouldn`t ban gambling. That is stupid but I really worry that the lack of regulation is getting out of hand. At least the Americans stopped credit cards being used on line. I am pleased that the super casinos have not gone ahead. I can`t believe that it was the labour party promoting them. How times have changed.

Anyway, rant over. Will be coming up to 4 years totally gamble free, or 10 years with a few minor slips.

Have to say, no urges what so ever for a long time now. Even the thought of wasting a couple of £s seems totally alien.

Stay strong in quitting friends. It is worth it.

Hi Graham

Thanks for your kind words and posting on my diary, your non smoking is going well mate, the length of time since your last gamble is very impressive and show us all we can do it, its hard tho, and at times literally heartbreaking, cant believe how my life has turned out, my behaviour has impacted on my sons and that i can never forgive myself.. My parents are horrible and heartless, they have 2 beautiful grandsons who do not deserve to be punished for my behaviour..

Anyway sorry im babbling, have you a tissue? im sobbing as usual!

Take care mate and thanks again.......ands

Hi Graham,

Thanks for your support as always. You have never done anything but encourage my recovery every step of the way. For that I am genuinely greatful. When times do improve financially it would be great to get together and buy you a beer or two, I would like that a lot.

Thankyou so much,

DT.

Hi Graham,

Just thought Id stop by and see what you've been up to.

Isnt it common for us CG's to be sensitive to rudeness etc? it really is a strong theme here. I was nodding along when you were talking about other peoples' bad behaviour putting you in a bad mood.

Ive got to the point where I manage not to get angry about this any more, its their problem if people treat me disrespectfully, but I quite agree that its still an irritation you could do without! It does seem to be a bit of a free-for-all in society these days, with courtesy taking a backseat.

Couldnt agree more about Labour not giving a hoot about the people anymore. Politics seems to have turned into purely a business transaction - there is no genuine empathy or humanity there anymore. They should rename the Labour party, as it stands for nothing that it used to do. They are all just tories in disguise!

Anyhoo, rant over! Hope the irritations get a bit thinner on the ground my friend.

Take care,

f x

Years of hanging out with CGs has lead me to believe very firmly that each and everyone is a sensitive soul. Sometimes the surface has to be scratched but it`s always there.

I have never yet met a CG who is not battling with issues other than gambling. This has lead me to believe that gambling is not the problem but it`s a form of self medication like drink or drugs. Interestingly there is research into this.

Just glanced at the following article

http://www.boston.com/news/gl…8/19/your_brain_on_gambling/.

It raises the point that some can play and walk away while others can`t. It also raises the generated revenue so I expect to see no meaningful regulation for a long while.