New diary, fresh start

You should be super proud of yourself, your mood may be low anyone's would be with what you've had to work through. There is only one way to go now though and that is up. Keep doing the hard work and the rewards will follow.

Thankyou lids x

So im 93 days gamble free, surprised myself that I've been able to do it given my home life right now. Under extreme stress and mentally drained, but my blocks are tighter than ever and my partner been amazing. Just wish my mam was here, will be 6 weeks tomorrow since she passed away, I miss her terribly, the pains unbearable. But I will make her proud. I've stopped smoking weed to, which was hard but I've done it. Trying to focus on Christmas now, and buying the kids presents, I finally have some savings since stopping gambling, which is a nice feeling. A week away from 100 days gamble free, I am proud of myself, only wish I'd stopped sooner and not hurt so many people.

96 days gamble free and feel ready to break. Terrible urges today, I feel like I'm in the darkest hole I've ever been in and feels like I'm trapped and there's no way out. 

Hi Stace

I hear that you're struggling but keep doing what has worked for you in the past. I know chatroom is a great support for you so keep coming in for the help and support of all your friends there. And if you need us call the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or chat through the portal on our website.

Take care Stace

Best wishes

Kevin

Forum Admin

Hi Stace,

I'm sorry for your recent loss but want to congratulate you on 96 GF days, under very difficult circumstances. When I first came here & Gamcare arranged counselling for me every session started with a sheet of paper with REASONS TO GAMBLE printed on one side & REASONS NOT TO GAMBLE on the other which I had to fill in.

I could only ever think of 1 reason to gamble which was I might win ( even though I never won )

Reasons not to gamble

1 Create more debt

2 Destroy the last ember of hope for my wife & family I'd stop

3 Go back to the same old lies & deceit

4 Nothing changes if nothing changes.

5 Accepting I'm too powerless & weak to do something about my addfiction.

6 Being unable to commit to changing my life for the better.

I could have thought of a million reasons not to gamble.

If I'm honest there was a part of me telling myself I was being treated like a baby doing this exercise every week. Then one day when my urges were at their worst I thought about going into a shop outside the area of my excluded betting shops & using some money that was on the sideboard as I'd handed over the finances to my wife. She's a creature of habit & every week will have the window cleaners money, the man who cleans the bins money & the milk mans money in seperate piles so the opportunity was there for me.

In the end I decided not to gamble. I decided if I gamble I'll probably loose it anyway then have to face the consequences.

I thought afterwards another GF day achieved, the urges passed. No further damage or hurt created.

It was then it dawned on me  I wasn't being treated like a baby, I was being introduced to a world of normality. Being someone who's wife isn't afraid to leave £20 or £30 lying around for fear her husband might gamble it.

It's a simple exercise Stace all you need is a pen & paper & make a list of reasons to gamble & reasons not too the next time the urges come calling. I'm not claiming to be an expert but I can honestly say it worked for me.

Best Wishes

AL

`` A week away from 100 days gamble free, I am proud of myself,``, and so you should be. You should think this and tell yourself this everyday. You are Amazing and inspiring and 96 days is too. Start learning to praise your successes. It may not seem like it right now , but life will improve and you will start having more good days than bad days. If you can go 96 days gamble free now with the problems you ve had , just think of what you can do in the future?. Hang in there Stace.

Slow, so nice to hear from you, I hope your ok, miss u so much, I will definitely try writing things down. I'm in such a dark place, that I just don't know were I am, I lost my mum, my world,  and I don't know how to carry on without her. But il stay strong and stay gf as she was so happy I stopped gambling. Stay in touch, was nice to hear from u and I hope ur doing OK xx

Lids, thankyou, I came on chat the other night hoping to speak to u but u wernt on, il catch u one night, hope ur doing OK. Xx

Day 99 gamble free, never thought I'd get this far

I've reached 100 days gamble free 🍾🎉🎉

@stace Yes!!! Congratulations and well done. This is a massive achievement! Do join the chatrooms this eve to share your success. Best Wishes, Jane Forum Admin

wow stace how awesome is that!!!!! xxx

Get in there!!!, you you did that, see what you can do?, You make sure you celebrate that, because that is a fantastic effort, that only us ex gamblers know how difficult it really is. Super proud of you!! Here`s to the future.

Massive well done Stace!!! Remember you’re incredible and should be so proud xx

Thank you all for your posts, really appreciate the support ❤

So 102 days gamble free, actually dint know how I've managed it. Losing my mam has broke my heart, trying to cope with the loss plus other stuff going on in my life, I thought I would of relapsed but I'm not only doing this for me but for my mam to. She hated me gambling and was so proud when I stopped,  I will continue to make her proud. I'm struggling right now with my mental health, not felt up to coming on chat but I will try pop on tonight if I can to say hi. 

I'm so thankful for the support from so many people especially admin and peers on here, means a lot.

Mondays were always my hardest day, as its payday, how id keep checking bank just waiting for money to go in so I could gamble , not a thought about my family and the heartache I put them through when I had to admit 'I've done it again, there's no money for the food shop', oh the shame! But here i am, another Monday gamble free, 104 days now. It feels amazing. So today I went online and bought more Christmas presents, nearly done now with my shopping,can't wait to see my kids faces Christmas day, I'm actually looking forward to Christmas,  its going to be hard without my mam, but my family will pull together as we always do and support each other. I've finally given into the kids and agreed to put the Christmas decorations up on Wednesday 🎄🎀🎈🎅

Life really is too short to waste, don't take it for granted, tell those you love how much you love them. I couldn't of got through these last few weeks without my kids, family, friends and my amazing partner, we've been together 21 years, have 5 wonderful children, and an angel baby, we've been through so much, and although I'm battling some things right now, with his and everyone's support I know I will be ok.

Take care everyone, stay strong in your recovery, never thought I could stop, but I have, I'm proof that it can be done, can't even count the amount of relapses I've had, I'm so thankful to everyone on here for there support, and I will continue to support other on here to 💗