Stace, you’re amazing!!!! Massive well done on fighting through it during tough times. Xx
Everyday is different for me at the moment. I'm struggling alot, yesterday I was ok, I managed to do some Christmas shopping and put the decorations up, tree looks lovely. But I'm on a down today.
How can I help someone any more than I am. My sister asked me for money last night, she only got paid Tuesday, so I questioned her on were her moneys gone and she admitted shes gambled. She said she's in a bad place after our mum died and not to have a go at her. I'm so worried about her any my nephew, she has no food in, barely any electric, she's not bought any Christmas presents, has no Christmas decorations, I just don't know what to do. I have 5 kids, I can't help her anymore financially, I've told her multiple times about blocks, gamcare etc but its falling on deaf ears. Now she's saying she won't gamble again, that was the last time, she's depressed etc but I've heard it so many times b4. I've offered so much support I really don't know what else to do. I'm going to buy them a Christmas tree and decorations but I just don't know how to get through to her. We've both lost our mam, were both depressed, yet I'm trying so hard to stay gamble free, I'm 107 days now, is there something I'm missing in helping her, what else can I do? Feel like I'm failing her but I just don't know what else to do
Hello @stace
A massive Well Done on your 107 days of being gamble free!
Sounds like personally you are doing well on your recovery journey, however seeing your sister turn to gambling again has made you feel quiet disheartened. You have done really well in trying to support your sister during these times – it can be hard to see someone so close to you go through this especially when you have personal lived experience of this. Everyone works differently and goes through recovery at a different pace as we are all such unique individuals, so please be kind to yourself and know that you are doing best as you possibly can to support her.
It seems you have already done so but do let her know again that we are here 24/7 should she decide to reach out to us for support for herself. She can always call us through our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our netline service through the ‘Talk to someone’ button on our homepage.
For yourself I would recommend joining into a few chatroom sessions which is especially dedicated to Family & Friends Affected by Gambling Harms where hopefully you will find more support through connecting with others. This chatroom runs every Tuesday between 10 – 11:30am and 7-8pm.
Best wishes,
Brielle
Forum Admin
Thankyou so much for your post. Shes now telling me she's going to end her life, I've just lost my mam , I can't lose my sister to but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help her. I know we can only recover in gambling when we are ready and I think she's reached her breaking point, I only hope with all my heart its not to late. I'm alone in this, none of my family know whats going on with her, do I break her trust and tell them or continue to deal with this alone. I really am lost, I have no idea what to do
Want to thank everyone in tonight's chatroom. I went in feeling rubbish, and came out feeling so supported. Gamcare truly has helped me so much over the years. I'm going through the toughest time of my life right now, and knowing I can come on here and talk has really helped me. And in return I will always be here to support others. Huge shout out to Adam who will reach 4 years gamble free tomorrow, so proud of you. Cant thank everyone enough for the support. From the bottom of my heart, thankyou. I'm 108 days gf , my mum never gave up on me, and in return I will keep making her proud, I know she's looking down on me ❤
Well done Stace. You’re smashing it. Keep positive and don’t slip back into the cycle. You’ve done stupidly well to help out your sister as much as you have. You can’t really do much more. As much as she probably doesn’t want to talk about it - try and get your sister to give GamCare a call. It takes a lot of courage to actually pick up the phone but if she’ll admit she needs help I guess that’s the first step. Secondly - get her in the chat rooms if she doesn’t feel comfortable speaking to someone over the phone. You know as much as me the chat rooms work wonders and I’m sure a lot of us will be willing to give advice. She’s not alone in this. Thousands of people struggling mentally with these issues too. Hope you’re okay, glad the chat rooms are helping you too!! 👍🏻👍🏻
Having a really bad day, how can you be surrounded by people yet feel so alone 😔
Had urges today to which has taken me by suprise as not had them in a while.
110 days gf
Hello @stace
It seems that you are experiencing urges which may have been triggered by some of the emotions you have been feeling recently. Really well done for noting this and being aware of these feelings – it can be tough to recognise a trigger when your mood has been impacted by a certain situation.
It’s always good to use the space here and also on the chatrooms to stay connected with others which can help you navigate around this. Also, please do contact us on our helpline (0808 8020 133) or netline if you require further support and a space to talk through this.
Best wishes,
Brielle
Forum Admin
You are doing so well, please realise how well you are doing. It will pass you know that, when you find the urges approaching do something just for you(but not gambling), anything comforting, enjoyable or rewarding. What you are achieving is on another level Stace. Work through your mind of why you are getting urges, and work through why you cant submit to them. You ve got this, and now deep down you know you can do it, but the gambling wants you to think you cant.
The strength you are showing is remarkable, just keep going a while longer, IT WILL PASS.
Lets have the new forward thinking Stace (despite all you are going through) win this time, not the gambling.
Thankyou forum admin and lids for your kind words.
I've just plucked up the courage to write my story on the post gamcare have put up about grief. I'm now sat here in absolute tears, my hearts broken. Life can be so cruel. I'm so ill mentally. I'm really struggling to cope right now
I'm really struggling right now and can't be here. I'm taking a break. Good luck in your recoveries. See you all in 2024 ❤
Good Luck Stace.
Hope to see you soon Stace, don't forget pen & paper. Reasons to gamble & Reasons not to gamble.
Best
AL
I was going to stay away but deep down I need the support. I'm really struggling. My calender says I'm 121 days gamble free, don't know how on earth I've managed it, but I have.
Al how nice to hear from you. How are you and the family, hope your all well. Saw your post on lids diary , that holiday must of been so nice, away from gambling the life we can have is pretty awesome isn't it
121 days is absolutely amazing, keep going!!
If you struggle post or reach out for 1-2-1 chat.
People sometimes don`t have the answers to difficult questions, but talking or even being in others company will help you to make sense of how you are feeling, or maybe just get you away from it all for a while.
On the no Gambling front you are doing so very well, i always knew you would, and its something you should take extreme pride in.
Please please keep the diary going, especially through the hard days.
It may seem way off, but things will get better, hang in there.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
