Needed to write down my feelings and hopefully build from here im married with a young son I’ve always gambled since I was 15 I was bullied badly in school so used it as my way out I’ve continued this in to my later life (nearly 50) in dec 2019 my wife ran off with someone and left me and my son my gambling spiralled out of all proportions and was numbing me for long time, my son then got suspended from school at least 30 times in a year me and my wife then managed to talk and she came home my son was over the moon and it put my mind at ease for his welfare, I have carried on gambling without anyone knowing and just hate my life at moment not in any debt as yet but could get there have gambled today but today I want to draw a line again and give myself a chance anyway enough from me will report back in tomorrow thanks for listening ?.
10 Weeks from now maybe a bit longer I did hanged my self on the belt because I felt like big big zero in my life. Than I seen the sparks in my eyes and magickly I found my self than. I or my brain pressed reset on all my living everything's was changed since than. Same minute I started write emails to my rent officer they made cry with the wording they said, they know I have gambling problem. That was the first words make me feel that I need to be in this life. They advised me to go job center and sing up for universal credit. And she said you done stop gambling one time you can do it again. That was my trigger to turn my life around. On the early morning i started write what I feel in the morning when I get up what want to do with my life and how I want to change it. In the few weeks doing this I had 3 triggers to gamble, in all of the situations I looked for the defriend way out but not gamble. Today I understand that i never was addicted to gamble I just was hiding my self into gambling because of wen you gamble all life is like you not in it. I made step by step plan how to clear potential risks to gamble. In my case risk one was talking with creditors where thy make you feel pointless, risk two I have a medical problem form the day I born I wet my bed sometimes now its coming and going. I look for medical support to get this out of me. Because of this I can have girlfriend that I'm dreaming since I stopped gambling. And risk tree words said by people around me to make me feel lover than they are. I deleted all social media and nearly my own brother. Since I all this I was not attempted to gamble. I do have clear access to gambling sites but i do not need them. I'm not shame of my self anymore I'm not shame to talk about my problems because i love my self now than I ever loved. I love my life
You have took a step forward coming on here. There are lots of good advice and blocks u can do online. Put as many blocks in place and then keep the focus.
I have been doing it for 2 decades and now ready to stop for good. Im totally sick of it and need to keep going for my own sanity.
The chatrooms are good to connect with people in similar situations
@spottydog@ thanks for the supportive advice but i do not believe that the blocks is the key to stop. Sorry i just think opening your self to yourself is first step to be gamble free for the rest of your life. Blocking that means your are attempted to go gamble i class my self as i never borrow any money from no-one and sure i never enter gambling sites
thanks for telling me this
i was shocked that my gambling counseling ended in 2 sections i know all my life where to go and what to do. I was looking for the real me and now that i found it i will never let go.
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