Hello everyone this is my first day on the site and the first on my road to recovery. I am going to keep an account onthis forum of my journey through the next weeks, months and years as my road to recovery begins now.
First I will intorudce myself as A. I'm 22 and have been gambling since I was 18. I started once at univeristy as I had a small amount of money from student loans and I would try to make more money by gambling (I know.. stupid). I started mainly with football bets and acumlators which at first was fun and under control. It took hold probably after around 6 months later when I realised I would not have enough money to last me until my next student loan. I opened an overdraft, which was followed by a credit card and then I took out 8 mobile phone contracts, sold the phones and used the money for gambling. It was a vicious circle and by the end of my degree things came to a head as I was almost 7k in debt. Eventually my girlfriend and parents found out which prompted them to offer me money to help get me out of debt. Initially I paid off some of debt but then fell straight back into the same situation again and lost a further 5k so my total losses where around 12k in debt. After this I did manage to stop after some councelling and was around 6 months gamble free.
However the urge found me again and last year I started betting again, the good news was that now I have a job I would 'afford' the losses incured from my gambling but it just means the debt I have is not going anywhere and it's begingging to get on top of me now. I have lost around 2,000 chasing my losses over the 2 weeks and I know now that enough is enough. If i stop now I know I can clear my debt within a year and finally get on top of my life. I want to move out and start a life with my girlfriend (who has been so supportive over the last 4 years). My issue now is nobosy knows I am gambling again and I now they will feel so let down if they found out, I feel so let down in myself.
Well today is the first day I have decided enough is enough. I'm currently 5.5k in debt I have open accounts with 2 bookmakers (the rest I am self exclued from) and I have made account with gamcare to finally kick my addiction. I just hope I can do it for myself and my family, they deserve so much more.
Hi A my names Alan and I'm a Compulsive gambler ,welcome to the forum . Firstly well done for coming here and admitting you have a problem with your gambling , never easy I know but it's the first step to giving up for good , the second step you proberbly need to tackle is the ability to gamble , you said you've still got active gambling sites ? , so you realy need to close all doors that are left open and not just by self excluding , you should also be installing gamblock or k9 to all your devices to stop you accessing gaming sites as it will add another weapon to your armoury , the other issue you face is " nobody knows I'm gambling again " well gambling thrives on secrecy my friend as all on here will testify to , as difficult as it is to do I would advise you to at least tell your partner or parents about whats going on it makes you more accountable for your actions for one thing and definately allows you to move forward in recovery .
It's not easy but only you can change your future , 7 months ago I was where you are now so I know all about the way you feel at the moment ," we cannot win because we cannot stop " simply because for us it becomes about the buzz and not the money , if you win it just provides more ammunition to carry on the cycle we create by gambling .
Your young enough to benefit greatly from stopping now , money comes and goes throughout our live's and money lost can be re earn't over time and debt's can be repaid but you only get one shot at life .
My best advice would be to let go of the past losses , stop chasing them and move on , once youv'e accepted that your'e not going to chase them again it makes stopping a whole lot easier !.
Wishing you well and wecome to recovery .............................Alan
Hiya mate, you have a similar story to mine and I'm on day 1 no gambling aswell! I wouldn't advise leaving betting accounts open as its a way back into the gambling world! It would be best to get as far away from gambling as possible so you don't tempt the devil, good luck to you mate I look forward to reading your posts!
POSTED YESTERDAY ON MY DIARY PAGE.........
Hi ahl21,
Welcome to the forum and thanks for reading my diary. If I were you I'd go to the "newbies" section to create your own thread introduce yourself there, you'll get more advice.
Thanks for the support, however still early days for me, just over 60days but happy with the start of my recovery. I read you managed around 6months gamble free, was this totally free or controlled gambling? I bet every day, except Christmas Day! Hated losing, chasing my losses was one off my biggest problems. I may have stopped for a few days here and there but the urge and ease of gambling always beat me in the end.
I didn't want to do counselling one on one, so chose GA instead. I've attended two meetings a week when not working away. They really work for me. I doubt very much I'd be 60days gamble free and feeling so positive about the future without them. I hope there's a meeting near you for you to try. If you don't like the first meeting don't give in, give at leat 3 meetings a go.
If you have any questions just ask me.
Facing up your addiction is a big step, so well done, but I believe you need to share your problems with someone close and tell them the whole truth about debts etc.
Wishing you all the best.
Hi everyone sorry for the delayed post been snowed under at work (which hasn't been a bad thing as it's kept my mind busy!). Successfully negotiated my first 3 days gamble free, have had a few thoughts to gamble mainly when watching sport like the football last night.. or when an advert comes on television, but I haven't gone as far as looking at odds so i'm pleased so far. I have taken the advise of fellow members on here and cancelled my remaining betting accounts and also taken the plunge into telling my family which was very emotional for all but I feel better for it. I felt emotionally drained at the start of the week when betting but feel a great sense of optimisim going forward. My main issue was chasing losses and although the losses will stay the same now there has been something quite liberating in knowing the losses won't get any worse and from here the only way is up. I'll keep you posted on my progess later in the week maybe after I pass the 7 day mark, or if I feel the need to gamble I will come on and let you guys know to keep me occupied.
Thanks to Alan, Harry and Shep for your posts and advice for helping me with my road to recovery!
Alan I have decided to take your advise and cancel my remaining accounts so I no-longer have any ways to gamble online, i'm also going to look into the blocking software you have mentioned! Thanks for your words of wisdom and firstly well done on your recovery so far! I'm feeling 1 million times more positive since I started this I feel much happier in myself.
Harry thanks for your good luck and I have taken your advise and closed the betting accounts, it's worked so far and i'll keep you updated.
Shep thanks for your post well done again on your 60 days and words of wisdom for me going forward. I decidd to take the plunge and tell my family and girlfriend which alsthough very emotional again has helped as I know now we are all on the same page and can word through it together. I think i'm going to start looking at some councelling sessions near me that they are offering moving forward.
Hi ALH21,
How are you finding your first "gamble free weekend?".
Well done in telling the girlfriend, not easy I know, but a big positive move forward. Now you need to take that positivity and use it in your mind. Keep focused, keep occupied and you'll keep the nice "bet free" feeling. It's a bumpy road forward but you're in the driving seat so keep in control. Your lass and family are now on this journey with you so if you feel you need them speak to them, otherwise post on here.
Let me know about your counselling sessions.
Post an update soon. All the best.
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