Day 4 complete
Was an easier day today only had 2 temptations to go to bookies, but iv kept my self really busy, not thinking about the debt or the friendships i want to try and fix yet as it will stress me out, and if I get stresssed will make it so much harder not to go
Hello Blownitagai n
I enjoyed your post on the debates section but I've got to go on Lethe's side and would say, despite your pal possibly having your best intentions at heart, I would say be wary.
Possibly, pal is still going through his own mind f***k in g recovery process after his accident. The mind can sure tell us some porkies when we're seeking answers.
A tad of a bi.tch regarding the car blowing up, yet it's a lot better than blowing another wedge in the bookies.
4 days down for you. Keep reading and learning.
Your probably at a very low point at the moment especially after a few losses which I understand eats away at you.
I could never win because no matter how much I won I could never stop , when I won it was free money and I would blow it on nice things , when I lost it was the lowest of the low and then struggled to make ends meet and sold everything worth anything in my possession.
Upset was deffo one of the main reasons I gambled , another was stress .
Best thing you can do at this point is self exclude from all the bookies you go in , a simple process and one which will have huge benefits for you.
You and me are in the same place bookies I used to love them would spend hours in them and not care about anything or anyone else, I phoned Gamcare and got self excluded for all the bookies I used to bet at. Do I still have urges yip but there has to be better things out there than feeding a machine with money really I ask my self that every day putting hundreds of pounds into a machine really,
Anyway good luck the head aches will pass I hope I also have them.
Stick in lets get to double figures on GF
Malc
Day 5 complete currently putting engine in the sack of c**P car I bought every time I crack my Knuckles or trap a finger, I think i had a nice Range Rover last year!!
Makes it hard though because I think I'll go back to bookys and get my money back until i realise I'd have to jackpot the machine 14 times to do it, then I just carry on with this engine!! Been to gym this morning again used all my stress and frustatetion there finding it a real realise so helping.
Yes i am tempted to go bookys but iv been giving my self 10 quid a day to live off so it's just not worth going! I know I'm improving as before I'd go to bookies with every penny I had then starve rest of day.
Don't have any money about me at moment really either again stressing me out. My brain is trying to think of every which way to go to bookys !
Have the screen saver on my phone of "success is born from struggle" just a reminder
Day 6 (yesterday )
Feel like I'm headbutting a brick wall and nothing is going forward just bad luck after bad luck, might have to go see docs because i think depression is setting in. Having dark thoughts and loosing the will to even try! Everything I have tried has slapped me in face didn't go bookys though.
Day 7 (being today)
And exactly the same as yesterday !
End of day 7
Can't think of anything to say that won't be a 4 letter word and be blanked with stars. I read other people's diary a constantly and admire the fact so many have a support network of people that are trying so hard to help them and I really wish I did. The only groups of people I have will either
Take it as a weekness, like I'm diseased and avoid me
Or
Make it common knowledge that I gambled everything I worked for bloody hard
So one of those days were I'm feeling super Lonely and rubbish
That on top of all the money I owe and the impending dead lines is just getting me deeper and deeper into a whole.
Iv one pal that takes me for who I am and I'd do just about owt for him and I know he would for me. He's a lot better person then me made what he has him self and iv nothing but admiration for him. Don't talk much anymore life took us 2 complelty different ways. And even he'd talk to me less if he knew.
Just to the other people on here that have family and friends that are helping, appreciate that more then the urge to gamble cause trust me if I had that help or choice this wouldn't be any where near as difficult!
Anyway end of day 7!
Thats why i needed to get help blownitagainb, it wasn't because i wanted the help, it was because i NEEDED the help.
When you want it, the helps there. You,ve been on chat often enough when I've suggested either counselling or GA as a possible option but i get accepting help isn't easy.
Congratulations on achieving a full week gamble free!
It is a lonely and difficult addiction when you have no one to talk to.
I won't tell you what you should or shouldn't do. We are all individuals with different circumstances.
All I can say is whats working for me. Just over a month ago, when i was trying to stop, I rang the samaritans. Just to have a listening ear, who doesn't judge was a massive help to me.
Yes I wrote on this site, but I also emailed the samaritans. I wrote whatever I was feeling down, which I found to be a great help. Personally, I found I could put my feelings down more to the samaritans . As I've said, we're all different. We do whatever works for us. I don't write/ring every day now like I did but to be honest through contacting them and this site it got me through those first couple of weeks when everything seemed impossible.
Stay strong, everyone on this site is here for you. I'm not sure if you've rung gamcares helpline but there's help there if you need it, they can sort counselling for you which I've also found to be a massive help. Keep clocking those days up. You'll feel so much better for it x
Yes I forget the Samaritans. good call little miss lost
Iv tried ga meetings iv rang once and emailed twice the number on the website for the local meeting and no reply. So not great I would go to a ga meeting.
It would take me personally a lot to go to a meeting full of people I don't know and say anything but I would give it a go. that's what I like about this site it's completely confidential in the way you could walk past each other in street and have no idea who each other was. So you can write how your feeling for advice with out feeling like a idiot (too much ! ) lol
Hi Blownitagaib
Gamblers Anonymous don't generally advertise phone numbers as everyone who goes there is in the same boat - there are no paid staff and they don't have the infrastructure to run a helpline. All the group details are available at gamblersanonymous.org.uk and you can just turn up. If you prefer something 1:1 GamCare offer free counselling - just call the helpline on 0808 8020 133 for more information.
Best wishes
Forum Admin
That's good didn't know if I could just turn up or if I had to call first, thank you for that
Come on Blown, get yourself to that meeting...you have done so well this week. I have one friend who is aware of my problem, but my main talking place is on here. You had such a struggle that first night to avoid the bookies...you can help others on here with your story...and you have lots of folk wishing you well on here and who want to support you. So get your head up, and get typing....how's the engine coming on?
Scrapped it 🙁 gave up on it so foot patrol for a little bit it's the debt that's doing me at moment you can't think positive when you have that over your head can you
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
