One big hit and your addicted

Hey all,

Hope everyone is doing great. I ended up getting sick, and it flared up my asthma. So I'am under docs care until next Wednesday. Didn't make it to my group therapy session on Tuesday night or G.A. last night, and had to miss my 1 on 1 therapy session today. Feeling a bit better today, usually takes me a good week to get back to normal. I'll return to my outpatient addictive center next Thursday for my 1 on 1 therapy session. So for now a lot of rest, and eating healthy continues. Me and doc decided to bump back my weigh in date to June 15 th. Since getting sick put a stop to my walking and the gym for now. So that will be the new date, hopefully I can get back to walking by next Wednesday, but I'am not going to push myself. As far as gambling, I could give a hoot for that self destructive addiction. Happy to have it know longer a part of my life. I will remain diligent in my relapse prevention program and my continued avenues of support. I wish you the best in your recovery program.

Recovering compulsive gambler,

Chicagoguy

Mr. C

you take good care of yourself my friend

I hope your back to your fully fit self soon.

Keep making the right choice.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Chicago,

And, you are right not to push it. Take it easy for awhile. Feel better guy!! -joanxxxxx

Hey chicago,

Sending you some get well vibes from across the water, take it easy and just rest . Hope your feeling better soon, and a massive well done on your continued progress.

Take care

blondie

Hey all,

Today my father passed away 3 years ago, and I miss him very much. He was the greatest dad any son could of ever dreamed of having. If I can live up to being a quarter of the man he was, I will have led a successful life. So today I remind myself of all my hard work in abstinence and how my father is a big part of my driving factor to beat this addiction and never revisit the casinos again. A big part of my addiction was to numb the loss and pain I was feeling from my father passing. Sadly I didn't know how to deal with that pain and gambling fit the medication to numb it away. Before long I was a full blown addict and shooting myself up with slot machine medication on a daily basis. I guess it did work for awhile, but then it started to eat away at me, just like the cancer my father had ate away at him. It ate into every bit of living breathing tissue of me, and I kept wanting to fill myself up with more of it, so it could eat away at my soul also. Such a devastating and debilitating addiction. It will devastate every aspect of your life and debilitate you because that's all you'll ever think about if you don't stop and seek help to abstain. You will become a zombie. I really think dad was reaching down and tapping on my shoulder the day I decided to call the addiction center, where I'am presently an out patient, "enough was enough" he was saying. I just hit my bottom and was sick of being sick is the only way I can explain it. Today I'am proud to say I'am 138 days gamble free, and have educated myself a lot about the addiction of compulsive gambling and learned new life coping skills and a relapse prevention plan through my program as an out patient at the addiction center I attend. It has been a life changing decision to have stopped and seek the help I did. I'am very grateful for all the wonderful support I have received on Gamcare also. Introducing myself to G.A. was also a step in the right direction. I will continue making those steps in the right direction for I now have so much more to look forward to, without gambling in any part of it at all. Not to many people would understand my motivation and drive to never return to the casinos to place a bet again, but that's ok, my dad knows and that's all that matters to me. Thanks dad for being the angel on my shoulder and leading me back to myself through recovery. We all miss you greatly and love you more then you'll ever know.

Your recovering compulsive gambler son,

Chicagoguy

Hi Chicago,

I hope I am not intruding. It looks like we were posting at almost the same time. That was a beautiful post and I totally get it. I lost my brother right before Christmas completely different scenerio but, I really believe that since his passing my brother has been helping me to heal. Anyway, I did not want to intrude on your thoughts. Just want to say that for what it's worth I am very proud of you too. You go!! Hope you are feeling better and can get back out fishing soon. -joanxxxxx

Hi there Chicago I really hope you are feeling better and such a moving diary entry which I relate to very much.

My father also died of cancer on this very date but several years ago. I was close to him although we often had differing views which I guess is how it should be in different generations.

He was a scientist and a very clever, intelligent spriritual person and my children and I miss him greatly.

So I guess we both have angels watching over us, how lucky are we.

Take care and stay healthy, happy and strong

xxx

Lovely post Chicago

You take care buddy and get yourself back on your feet quick smart.

G

Hey Chicago.

Thanks for your lovely comments on my diary. Much appreciated.

Thinking of you on your dad's anniversary - my dead was very special to me and i idolised him too. You are doing a marvelous thing in memory of yr father - be proud and happy.

Take care.

Feb.

Very moving last post there, Chicagoguy. Makes me think of my stepdad and Uncle, who both died in 2010. i was the same..It all but turned my life upside down and I gambled to escape it all. I feel very blessed to have found this place and have truly escaped the escape.

In my thoughts, Chicagoguy.

Well done on current progress of 130+ days.

Have a nice weekend

All the best

Alex

Mr.c

it is an honour to be able to share this forum with folk like you. Gambling breaks us bet by bet we gift it our soul, it is not the financial loss that hurts and your post gave a greater understanding of that to all who read it.

You lost your dad to a terrible illness for that i feel your pain.

Through abstinence you are finding yourself and with that great purpose and for that my friend be proud, for i know for sure that fella looking down is immensely proud.

Just for today

Duncs stepping forward never back.

He who seeks evil shall truly find it, you have chosen to seek good like so many others on this site. I wish you strength and peace for your rememberance yesterday. Dark Place

Mr.c

fella twenty weeks today you took charge of your life without addiction throwing a spanner in the works.

From day one you practiced what you preached.

For that i salute you.

Abstain and maintain my friend.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hey Chicago

Thanks for sharing that moving post. I'm sure your dad would be so proud of your continued efforts over the past 20 weeks. A massive "well done" from me also.

Take care of yourself and do whatever the doc tells you! I hope you feel better soon.

Keep up the great effort

Irene

x

Good mourning everyone,

Thank you all for your kind words, and support this weekend, towards myself and my father, It was very much appreciated, and it's great to know there are so many caring friends on this site. Today I'am 20 weeks gamble free and continuing to rebuild and work on putting back the pieces of my life that I allowed gambling to destroy. This is a life time commitment one we must take and endure the good and the bad days ahead of us. I don't try to spend to much time asking myself why I became so addicted to the slots in the casinos these days but to rather think about the future and setting goals to better myself. A future that has no place for gambling in it, one where there is peace with myself and reward from simple every day life. I don't blame anyone or anything for my addiction, it happened, like it happens to all the great people I have met through my outpatient addictive center, and G.A. and Gamcare. It's better to not beat yourself up and to move forward, don't get stuck in your thoughts of the past. We all have one common goal, us addicts that is, and that is sobriety. I remember the first day I walked into my addictive center that I attend as an outpatient. Let me tell that was the most humbling experience I ever had in my life. For the first time I realized how serious my addiction was and also that my addiction to gambling was no different then someone who was addicted to alcohol, or C*****e or other drugs. It made me understand that there are many good people out there in this world that get overtaken by addictions. It forever changed the way I perceive another addict for the rest of my life. Why? well simple I'am now a recovering addict for the rest of my life also. If your really want to beat this addiction, you have to get denial out of your way, once you push that to the side you can start stepping forward. I look forward to the challenges of the future and helping those around me to rebuild there lives also, through support, and compassion. There is one word that has become a big part of my vocabulary these days, I use this word more then I ever had before in my life, but I now understand the true meaning of it today, "Grateful". I wish you the best in your recovery plan.

Recovering compulsive gambler,

Chicagoguy

20 weeks gamble free

8 weeks eating healthy

14 lbs weight loss for month of April

next weigh in July 1 st