One big hit and your addicted

Hi Chicagoguy,

I just wanted to welcome you to the forum and guess what? Chicago is my home town!! Yup, born there in 1960; lived there until I moved in 1996. Anyway, it sounds like you are off to an amazing start in your recovery. I can totally relate to your thoughts about how much we were willing to waste by putting money into slots and how much we could have spent on needful things. Anyway, that is all behind us now and I am looking forward to reading your posts. Good luck on your journey. -joan ( originally from the great city of chicago!)

Hello Judy,

Thanks for the welcome, and thanks for posting on my diary. Real cool your from Chicago, that's awesome. Great to have so much support on here. I found this site just googling looking for support in U.S.A. for a gambling problem, couldn't find anything over here. I like duncs saying "Stepping forward never back", got to look at this addiction that way. Great to meet you, and I also wish you the best on your recovery. I'am grateful today for meeting a friend formally from Chi-town.

Sincerely,

Chicagoguy

Hello everyone,

Waiting on a snow storm headed are way. Suppose to get 3 to 6 inches over the next couple days. I think it will be the most so far this winter in one or two days of snowing. Anyhow trying to stay positive and trying not to think about the casino to much. I have days where it doesn't cross my mind at all, and then I have days like today, I find myself thinking about the slots. I guess after spending 2 years down there and countless hours, it's going to come to thought now and then. I got my unemployment check today and paid all the bills that were do. I remember going to the casino on these days after getting the deposit and even the day before getting the deposit to gamble the money. Crazy how I just didn't care back then, always thinking I'd maybe double my money. Most of the time if I went down the day before getting my deposit I was negative by the time I left. I'am very glad to say 45 days sober today, and looking forward to that big 90 days. Just a short term goal of my own. I won't have therapy on monday since my counseler is on vacation, and won't be back til March 11. We will have group on Tuesday though, so thats good, and I will be seeing a different counseler on Feb 28 that's subing in for my other one. I haven't heard from my friend Riggertroll for a bit, so I hope your doing well and hanging in there my friend. Still waiting on a couple other people from our group therapy class to sign up on this site also. I'am very thankful for finding Gamecare so I can post my feelings and thoughts for the day, it really helps you out in your recovery. I wish you all the best in your recovery process. Today I'am thankful I've stuck to my soberity.

Sincerely,

Chicagoguy

Hi there, Chicagoguy.

Thanks for your support, mate.

I won't lie. Thoughts of betting or poker often swirl through my mind, but like you, as I was in the gambling trap for 2 years, it's hardly surprising. It was a learned behavior. It became a habit. Addiction. Some kind of escape. We know differently now though. We have awoken.

It's best to dismiss the urges like flies and swot them there and then with a bit of learned common sense, focusing on the reason why we stopped and those goals ahead.

Sorry to hear about the oncoming snow. We had it here in buckets a few weeks back. Then it went away. Then it came back again. English bloomin' weather. 🙂

-Alex

Hi Chicago,

Thanks for dropping in. I remember the blizzard of '67. My father had to tie us kids to a sled and drag us to the store to get what little supplies were around. There was no fresh bread or milk so, my mom was baking bread and mixing pitchers of instant milk. lol! I was only a little girl so I thought all of that snow was great! Anyway, 45 days is a huge accomplishment. You are doing great. I totally understand about the urges to go to the casino. I get them all of the time. I try to remind myself of what I feel like on the long drive home. No money, ashamed of myself, dreading the long wait for the next pay check not knowing how I was gonna pay my bills. I just tell myself over and over again. I cannot win because I cannot stop. I won't leave til the last dollar is spent and I wind up taking more out of the ATM. Stay strong Chicago and I will too! -joan

Hello everyone,

Didn't get that much snow as expected. Hey Judy remember the blizzard of 79? Lot's of sledding and making snowmans, I was 10 then, so it was a ball.

All in all days going pretty good, had lunch with my brother at are favorite mexican restaurant. I had fish tostados with avacado on top, and rice and beans. We had a nice visit. Ironically the place is with in a stone throw of the casino I went to all the time. Now thinking about it, I actually forgot the casino was even right next to us while we were enjoying a great lunch. You can't see it but it's right down the street from the restaurant. I guess that's a great sign, making progress. I'am going to sign up monday at the local gym and start doing some walking and work my way back to where I use to be. Hard to believe I was playing basketball 5 days a week in 2011. Thats part of this addiction Iam realizing, you let yourself go, and things that bring you joy. I have a long road ahead of me but that will be a goal for this year, back playing b ball before xmas. Full court games I was playing before, 5 on 5. I even had my own team at the local Y.M.C.A. It's all part of recovery, finding life again, and gamble free that is. There's so much I put to the wayside for this addiction, never again. Thanks for all the support from everyone, and I wish you all the best in your recovery. I want to say I'am grateful for my brother.

Sincerely,

Chicagoguy

Goodmourning everyone,

I think you guys and gals are 6 hours ahead of us. Well things have been going good, not any urges today, so thats a help. I'am thinking of a idea, a plan so to speak. For every 10 dollars I lost gambling I will walk 1 mile. This is in the begining phase and I'am trying to figure out if this is a good idea. So $500.00 would equal 50 miles. I wouldn't do it all at once, but it could be part of my diary, as a daily log as to how many miles I walked that day. I think it may help me put some value on the money I carelessly gambled and lost. Any thoughts on this I would appreciate feedback. I wouldn't put a dollar amount in my diary, just miles, I'am looking for a way to value my losses in a positive way, not dreading on them daily. It also will give myself some motivation to do some walking and get in the gym. It seems everyone has short term goals and long term goals on here and I think that's a great idea for recovery. Could take a long time, it would be alot of miles thats for sure. Hey, still waiting to hear from my friend Riggertroll, hope your doing fine. I don't have 1 on 1 Monday, my therapist is on vacation, but I have group on Tuesday. Starting to realize the positive impact NOT gambling is having on me. Monday will be 49 days gamble free, and I'am feeling proud of myself, even though the thoughts of going are still there. I hope in time those will disapate more. Thank-you everyone that has been supporting me, and thank-you all for your kind words of encouragement.

Sincerely,

Chicagoguy

Well dine Chicagoguy 49 days is brilliant I think the fitness way is a massive help for us gamblers it really can make you put your focus elsewhere well it works for me although only 9days clear for me, so day at a time have good weekend my friend

The bear.

Hi Chicagoguy

Thanks for the supportive post on my diary. I've had a wee flick through yours and I'm impressed at your dedication to your recovery.

Well done reaching 7 weeks. Keep doing what your doing- it seems to be working!

Irene

x

Goodmourning everyone,

Hope all is well with each of you, and your journey to a gamble free life is going good. Had some interesting dreams last nite. In my dream I was at a casino. Urrgg, I believe it's withdrawls still, or just my subconsious wanting to go gamble. We talked about this happening in therapy. I don't feel any great urge to go gambling because of my dreams, it's just a reminder to myself how it truely effects your mind. Well I'am proud to say gamble free for 48 days today. The support on here has been great. Iam hoping to get this walk a mile = $10.00 this week going. Got alot of miles to walk. Just a way to help myself through this process. I'am finding each day and week that passes by and I'am gamble free, I'am a happier person, and starting to glue the broken pieces of me back together. Gambling really does break you, in more ways then one. Stay strong everyone and I wish you all the best in your recovery's.

Sincerely,

Chicagoguy

Hi Chicagoguy

Thank you for your message of support.

Well done on your 48 days gamble free, fantastic achievement. Like you I have recently had the gambling dreams but no urge to gamble. You seem to have all the right things in place to keep you gamble free, I currently rely on family and the diaries support which are keeping me going at the moment, although I will seek additional support if I feel any weakening!

Keep looking foward, have a great day.

Hi chicagoguy

I know, how strange (but very normal it appears) thank goodness - that makes me feel better about having such dreams. It's like, once you know that this form of behaviour is normal and expected, I find it is easier to "accept and move on". We are both doing really well and I know it will continue for us. Just been on Asda.Com and have been deciding for well over an hour whether to purchase some jeans and shoes for a total cost of £27.00 (including 10% discount)!! When in the past, I have spent £500. in a fraction of the time on gambling. Hysterical isn't it! I have bought them though as my little treat to myself for this week (and next)!!!

Take care and look after yourself.

Feb.

I lost £6000 in one day...

Everyone was telling me to stop when I won £2000 back after plundering £4000... What did I say, ? Guess...No way I need back my £2000.. The sweat was dripping down the back of my neck...That's when it took me for 6....Maybe more... Not even in the casino...Imagine stupid hey? No the government has warped the minds of the weak, by anchoring us into a dream..That in reality may never happen...

Easy li£e.

I really appreciate the response on my diary. Nice to know I'm not alone in my OCD. I will try to do what you said next time the urge to check comes up again - Check, take a deep breathe, and walk away. I still have to check, but I'll try not to check like 10 times, one after the other.

It's a mad business this. I might even go for some support/therapy myself as I still find myself getting overly stressed about life, then depressed, then anxious. It's done me good before. I'm not as bad as I have been, as I feel I can cope with things a lot better, but it's still there, just not as bad.

We have to have a determined will to overcome our problems, I was thinking earlier. Yet, a little support helps I must add. And again, I really appreciate your help, Chicago guy 🙂

Thanks again

Alex

Cg.

Fella thanks for your support on my thread your words humbled me greatly.

Well done on your 48 days gamble free and fantastical achievement.

Keep making the choice to better your tomorrow.

Duncs stepping forward never back.