One big hit and your addicted

Nice note to your dad. Kinda hate to imagine one writen to me from my kids. Lol glad you're staying focused and I'm sure that watch and pole will soon be yours.

Hi Chicago,

Thanks for your continued support. It means alot to find a friend when they are hardest to find. I wish you nothing but continued success in your recovery!! -joanxx

Hello my good friends,

You have all been so supportive of me on my journey, so I wrote a quick poem for you all that I just finished.

(NO MORE TEARS)

LOST MY SOUL, MY WILL TO LIVE

BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO GIVE, GIVE, GIVE

SHE KEPT ON TAKING, EVERYTHING I HAD

NOT ONLY MONEY, IT WAS GETTING REAL BAD

I FINALLY AWOKE FROM THIS DREAMLIKE STATE

TO REALIZE THERE'S MUCH MORE AT STAKE

THROUGH WILL AND DETERMINATION, THE

UPS AND DOWNS, I FINALLY GOT MY LIFE BACK AROUND

I MUST STAY STRONG NOT ONLY FOR MYSELF,AND

BEAT THIS ADDICTION THAT CAUSED SO MUCH INFLICTION

FOR THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE, I CAN FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT

NO MORE DARKNESS IN MY SOUL, IT'S TIME TO SHINE SO BRIGHT AND BOLD

THESE DAYS BEHIND ME I WILL NOT FORGET,

FOR SOMEDAY I COULD REGRET

I MUST LET GO OF THE PAST, THE DAYS IN THE CASINO ARE OVER AT LAST

IT'S TIME TO TURN A NEW LEAF OVER,

DON'T KNOW IF IT SHOULD BE A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER

FOR THIS LOVE AFFAIR IS TRUELY OVER

THANK-YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, YOU'VE ALL BEEN THERE FROM THE VERY START

CHICAGOGUY

Hi Chicago

Beautiful post!

Keep shining bright and bold

Irene

x

Great Poem Chicago, it is a gift and talent to write like that ! you have to take care of your gift otherwise gambling over takes it and keeps it supressed at best or destroys it completely at worse. That is worst thin about being addicted, it destroys all the good that one has in their life, slowly but surely after stopping tho they come back one at a time. It is never to late. Keep going Chi-Town, I am off for a UK slider lunch, your doing great. Dark Place

Hi Chicago,

I finally have a day off of work so am spending some much needed time on the diaries. I just read your poem and too thought it was awesome! Inspired by your new found sobriety. Just awesome! Thanks for sharing it! -joanxx

Hey everyone,

Hope you all had a great weekend, I'am definitely seeing that my mind is thinking so much clearer these days, I'am not willing to give that up to a lousy bet. I was never into writing poems before, but being so grateful of everyone's support on here, it truly inspired me, and that poem came to me Sunday mourning. Being caught up in my addiction before, I would've never even considered writing something like that. I guess it's a true testimony to myself, that as time goes on I can achieve more positive things in my life that I put my mind to. I think I'am going to work on some more poems of inspiration for myself and others, and share with everyone on here as they come to my thoughts, and onto paper. I have my 1 on 1 therapy today and group therapy class on Tuesday. Were working on having a relapse plan in place for our continued sobriety in group right now. I'am going to share my poem with my therapist tonight, and continue working on my sobriety. Today I'am 10 weeks sober and free of those gambling hooks that were at one time so deeply embedded in me. I wish you all the best in your recovery process.

Chicagoguy

Hi Chicago.

Well done on your continued hard week to remain free from gambling. You ate doing so well. I look forward to reading you poems.

Take care.

Feb.

Just wrote another poem, hope you all like it.

(THE BET YOU'LL REGRET)

WITH ONE PULL OF THE HANDLE

A COIN IN ITS MOUTH

THE THRILL OF A SPIN

I THOUGHT I WAS SURE OF A WIN

ALL THE CLINGING AND CLANGING

WHISTLES AND LIGHTS

I REALLY THOUGHT SUCH A HEAVENLY DELIGHT

AS I SAT IN MY CHAIR

WITH A BLANKLESS STARE

THE WHEELS WERE SPINNING TO END IN DESPAIR

I THOUGHT TO MY WONDER

HOW COULD I BE UNDER

SUCH A SPELL THAT WOULD TAKE ALL MY THUNDER

WAS NEXT TIME THE BIG WIN

I WAS SURELY HOPING WITH A GRIN

LITTLE TO MY DISMAY

I LOST MORE AND MORE EACH DAY

AS MY SADNESS GREW DEEP WITHIN MYSELF

I WAS AFRAID TO YELL FOR HELP

FINALLY ONE DAY I REACHED MY END

I CANNOT CONTINUE TO SPIN,SPIN,SPIN

THE MONSTER IT HAD MADE ME

I SHOULD OF THOUGHT MAYBE

NEXT TIME I 'D GO I SHOULDN'T

GIVE IT A PULL

DON'T FEED IT ANYMORE IT'S

GETTING HUNGRIER AND HARD TO IGNORE

I MUST STOP THE MADNESS

ITS CREATED SO MUCH SADNESS

IT'S TIME TO GET HELP

I CANNOT SPIN

TIME TO LOOK DEEP WITHIN

NO MORE BETS FOR SURELY I'D REGRET

Hi Chicago,

Great poem , keep writing and letting it out. 10 weeks on and the gambling mist has certainly cleared.

Anything is possible my friend.

Thank you for your support and kind posts .

Take care

Blondie

(MY ANGEL)

A HAND REACHED OUT

AND TOUCHED MY SHOULDER

EVER SO LIGHTLY IT

LIFTED THE BOULDER

LISTEN TO ME WHISPER IN YOUR EAR

I'AM ONLY GOING TO TELL YOU

WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO HEAR

THE MISTAKE YOUR MAKING

YOU'LL BE TRUELY FORSAKEN

THE GAME YOUR PLAYING

WILL KEEP ON TAKING

I ONLY WANT TO HELP CONSOLE

SO PLEASE LOOK DEEP WITHIN YOUR

HEART AND SOUL

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

YOU DIDN'T KNOW

YOU ONLY GAVE IT ONE HARD PULL

THE HOOKS WERE EMBEDDED

SO DEEPLY THEY SCARRED

THAT ALL COULD SEE FROM SO AFAR

IT'S OK WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES

BUT THIS TIME YOU NEED ME FOR GOD SAKES

THE ROAD MAY BE BUMPY

AND SOMETIMES ROUGH

THATS OK YOUR GONNA GET TUFF

I'LL WIPE AWAY YOUR TEARS AND

GET RID OF YOUR FEARS

YOUR NOT ALONE ON THIS ROAD

OF THE UNKNOWN

FOR I'AM SOMEONE YOU'VE ALWAYS

KNOWN

IT'S OK MY SON

I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE

FOR YOUR NEW LIFE

HAS JUST BEGUN

P.S. In memory of my father

Chicagoguy

Hi Chicagoguy,

Thankyou for your message the other day, really nice of you,

and well done to you, sounds like you have done really well

Ladyc

Hi Chicago,

So much healing going on for you. I hear it in your poetry. I'm thinking that with sobriety as your muse, going forward you cannot lose! How was that?? lol! Thanks so much for the awesome poem my friend! -joanx

Hi Cg,

Thanks very much for your post on my diary.

I am just at the start of my journey (this time!). I hope I can maintain my recovery.

Will read your recovery diary when I have some time.

Keep strong

MW

Loving the poems, they are so descriptive. I used to go to a poetry club in london with a friend a few years back and it's such a good medium to use to enable other to appreciate your feeling and emotions.

xxx