Online slots...

Sooo diy project done...just to build new furniture when it arrives !
Son over the moon with his room ..priceless .... was a pleasure to do ( well maybe not in the pysical sense ! )...and amazing to be able to pay for it all...with my hard earned cash...and even better to do it with a willing heart...and no robbing Peter to pay Paul....this would not have happened whilst in grip of my addiction.....funny. ..often use to tell myself when playing slots..."if I won big I could do this or do that "
Well...now I'm not Playing slots I can do and pay for "this and that "
And I've still got a little savings....amazing !
Also....hubby been home this week....we've done bits to the room together ! Anddddd it's been ok....actually....it's been nice !. ..so we will see....
As ever though...one day at a time...after all...it's only really today that matters. ..yesterday's gone and tommorrows never promised...stay safe guys...be happy. ..be true to everyone...but most of all....true to yourself xx

Heya lox thanks for your post xxx

Happy father's day to all you daddies out there....
Even if your in the grip of this vile gambling addiction....and whatever your ""state ""of your relationship with your children. ...your children are yours....even if..... just maybe they don't want to hear that just now.....make them proud to call you dad.......
And if your an " honoury " dad. ....then a massive high five to you...xx

Hey lox hope your ok sounds like u have a great sense of achievement with ur diy something we give up to our horrible addiction.i realised I stop wearing makeup put weight on,and don't even go there with the bikini line...old holdburn springs to mind,but I am rescuing myself from the Point of no return and becoming crazy cat lady.i have decided to join fat fighters this week battled with my weight for a while now and when my size 14 jeans are too tight (camel toe don't even go there)I decided to take back control I was always worried about spending the £5 odd a week how weird we are when we are spending 100,s watch this space I will be size 8 in no time!even my hubby encouraged it I think he's realised I've lost my confidence or maybe he just wants me to feel a bit better and get a wax ha ha.i have a mental list of goals 1 is to lose weight 2 to take the kids on holiday 3 hang on 1 should be clear the debt but one thing at a time I need to feel I can achieve it all maybe as I go to sleep now instead of counting sheep il count goals ttfn sorry for the drivel I hope you are staying strong dizzy xxx

Morning ....Monday again...yucky old day down here in devon....well life's not always perfect is it !
Another lovely weekend...bar busy.....interesting duo on accordians saturday night....got better as the night went on...was a bit critical of them at first....thought about it and realised that was mean....could i play one...lol...not a chance...so actually fair play to them for there growing skills !
Nice day Sunday...lazy morning before opening at 12 ....chilling with hubby...coffee in his shed !. .thought the bar would be quiet...wow...how wrong...heavingggg...great...
Quick roast done at 4...both daughters came to see hubby... back to work at 7....
Always have about 6 lads in Sunday night...they play cards...think it's kallooky !. ..great bunch...always jolly and lightheartd.....anyway ..one of them obviously wanted to get on a gambling site with phone....up comes my parental block...lol
Sorry...I told him...I set it up when we had a grand national quiz so nobody could cheat....and I can't remember the pass word to reset !
Felt a bit bad about lying...but there was a lot of visitors in as well...I think if it was just them I would have told them...may chat to them next week...Will see
Rite....back to 2nd job today...so must get a wiggle on...ooh....and just so you know...no urges...no thoughts...no worries !
But as ever....I'm staying safe xx

Morning Loxxie , thanks for the drop by Hun , no plans to join the Raf anytime soon love , not quick enough getting in and out of the cockpit , got in all right yesterday but needed a shoehorn to get out . Glad you had a busy weekend in the bar , I think letting people know is down to the individual and more about who really needs to know ? And as you say your not going yo fess up in front of a crowd if there's people that don't need to know are you . Have s great day Loxxie and talk to you soon x

Damp dreary and drizzling in devon today !
Usual busy lady here...spent a lovely evening at friends house last night....chilled and yapped away....or rather she did...poor love...mega problems with her daughter....which is having serious implications for her grandchildren....hubby not supporting her at all...so it was wonderfull to be able to listen to her get it off her chest....and i was really listening...head and heart was with her...not at a slot machine...as it would have been before. ....actually...that's not quite true.....I probabally wouldn't have even gone to her house at the hight of my addiction ....would have missed valuable playing time !. ...gee. ..that's disgusting...machine before a friend in need !
But....thankgod. ..and I do everyday....that I've seen addiction for what it is....it's like a Hoover...will suck and suck everything from you untill you switch it off.....
Everyday im feeling more alive
Everyday im thinking about others...
Everyday im being open and honest....
Everyday im being the best I can
I'll never be Mary poppins...I'll make mistakes along the way...but I am not bitter about my addiction....I'm actually feeling a better person now than before I ever spun a slot machine...i had a very religious up bringing ....a wonderfull childhood full of happy memories....my dad once said to me...."young lady...your never sent more than you can cope
with"...i remember laughing at the time....but maybe it's right...who knows...
Anyway...bit of a load of old blab today...but just trying to say as it is....
Does it sound wrong or sick if I
say "I'm glad about my addiction "
?
Because I'm thinking ...how would I have got to the mindset I'm at now. ...if I hadn't ?
I feel a better person than I was long before I ever played slots...
Blimey. ...to early for such mental challenges...
Have a good day everybody....
If your new to this forum...things will get better...in time...if you really want them to...and work at it..x

Lovely sunny morning..
I'm chuckling to myself about my undecisiveness regarding the e.u vote
No...I'm not being flippant about the reasons for in/out etc
It's the fact that I am even thinking about the reasons on both sides. ..trying hard to see both sides...to read and understand...the fact that I even care about what will/won't happen
I would never have given anytime to such a decision...or in fact any decision whilst I was in the grip of my addiction...
Still not got a clue which way to go....but at least I'm gamble free....so I can think !

Ooh I'm one lucky mummy...birthday on Monday and I've just received a card in the post from my two grown up daughter's. ..saying
Take Monday off
Be ready to be picked up 1.45
Hubby and my son will meet up with us later !.
Bless em. ..so lovely after all the turmoil we've all been through...
No idea whats planned. ..don't care ...it's the thought that theve done it....
#oneproudmummy#

Thanks for ur support lox it means a lot to me ur right shame we aren't closer I'm a wizz with my colours!night night xxxxx

Loxie I just wanted to stop by and give u a great big thank you and I'm sending u a hug (yes right now can u feel it?)you have been a constant source of support to me ,cheering me up and lifting me when I've been anxious everyone has been lovely here but you have kept up the support which I really appreciate.i think in life we are quick to complain or critize but often forget to praise or say thank you so thank you from the bottom of my heart.you were so right at the beginning I couldn't see a way forward but within a month I've managed to get everything on payment plans and today one of the last worries my TV license has been sorted and I can pay it weekly at the post office.im not in the clear and I have months of struggling but I'm up for the challenge I am delighted I am not giving all my money to those s**m bags signing off dizzy mmmwhoa xxx

Doh...your very welcome love...
I think it's very important to just meet and greet new comers on here...then slowly offer advice as and when...youve done so well...and it's been great to be able to help you....your life will improve everyday you don't gamble....I'm so pleased you feel much more posative. ....well done you....I appreciate your thanks and hug....have a cracking weekend ....stay safe xx

Thanks lox I'm here for you too even if it is c**P talking about our old Holburn bushes or hanging baskets ha ha lol xxxx

165 days...
Gamble free
Birthday tommorow. ..and I won't feel a bit guilty celebrating it in whatever way my family have planned...can hold my head high this year...no secrets...no lies...no gambling. ...greatttttt x

Hey Loxxie,

Just incase I forget tomorrow....I hope you have a great birthday and enjoy whatever it is your daughters have arranged for you.....you've certainly earned it.

Damo