Payday

9 days GF is an excellent start.

And payday in sight - that's good too.

Canterbury has just this morning written an excellent post on the payday cycle, it's well worth everyone reading as payday approaches.

Im sorry to break it down, but if you miss it I advise you to rewire your brain and rewire yourself of the brainwashing that gambling gives you some form of crutch. If not, you are using willpower, and that is disastrous. Believe me. Consider this as full constructive critisism!

Well done on 9 days, great achievement

I get what you mean about missing it, but then after more thought it wasn't missing the gambling it was more about filling the void, what to do with my spare time etc as it took up all my waking hours, but mindset does change over time and you soon fill that void with nicer things and thoughts

Wishing you loads more gf days

?

I think I know what you mean. I was in crisis as usual a few years back. I desperately wanted help but when I spoke to a gambling counsellor, I realised that a tiny part of me didn't want to give up the only thing I really enjoyed in life. I was conflicted. You sound like you're not ready to stop quite yet? I apologise if that sounds harsh. I detest gambling now with a passion and only relapse when I'm chronically depressed. When I do gamble, it's self-destructive. I don't look at the form it's random and I already know I'm going to lose. Gambling used to consume me, some nights I couldn't sleep trying to come up with new strategies to win. I'd have the most vivid dreams about being in arcades and winning on the machines. I feel sorry for you really. I wouldn't want you to experience the most terrible lows that I've felt.

Stuart

Canterbury, we have so much in common. And I think every gambler who gets to our point in life will feel similar to us. Its exactly as you say: We know that we are going to lose in the end no matter what. Always when I gamble I do it with a sad face, because I know deep inside that its leaving to a dead end. The twisted and most insane part is: Like we know, almost ALL gamblers cant stop while winning. The sick part is that even the very low % of those that manage to withdraw and use it on something, will come back later and lose it all back in a matter of time. Thats because winning in the first place is very rare, let alone holding the winnings. The only way you can win in gambling is if you STOP for all eternity when you have won big, but as all the other addictions, this is utterly and perfectly impossible. This is the reason why no matter who you are, you cant win in the long run. Its a twisted, sick addiction. I would rather have any other addiction than a gambling one... Im never returning to the pits of darkness, and I eally hope you guys too get out while your health is still somewhat decent. Dont fall deep down in the darkness...

Thanks for all the reply’s, It really does help! It’s a long road ahead. Lots of downs on the road to be gf.  

Hi reading your story was like someone was writing about me myself. Its got to the point now that my wages no longer last a day and today I have went and done it again?. But I have had enough as it's changing me as a person getting myself in debt and putting me in a dark place that I've never been in. Its got to the point now I need help but don't want to be seeking it through family and friends due to the fear of being judged, but start from tomorrow a new day fresh start I'll be giving it all I have to knock the gambling in the head and get my life back.