I read success stories from others who have turned their life around. Learning to cope and getting stronger as each day passes. I ask myself, how do they do it?
I have been a member of GamCare since 2020, the first time I knew my gambling was an issue and I needed to do something about it.
4 years on, here I am, attempting to give it another go. Perhaps I need to lock myself away as giving up seems to be impossible. All it takes is an advertisement, a betting office or someone buying a lottery ticket for my thoughts to spiral out of control.
I don’t feel like a normal person, I feel like I’m the worst person in the world, a let down of my peers.
I hope today is the start of a new life, a prosperous journey, a life without gambling.
Hi there. It’s been 30 years for me and only in the past six months have I finally woken up my previous life was like living in the matrix totally self delusional
So all I can say is that you have to keep switched on with all the weapons to beat the addiction stay close to family and best mates have triple lock financial controls on all cards and accounts and be held accountable to the closest person
Best
managed 2 weeks and back to day 1.
After my initial message, It felt great, to voice my concerns with the gambling Community, reading the forums and feeling positive on my road to recovery.
As you can imagine, life at home is on the rocks. I’m scraping through to each pay check due to significant losses. I can see the way it’s going but somehow, I always get drawn in.
Ive been to different recovery sessions and find it a difficult one to stomach. I never finish a full programme over a set period - I tell myself I’m strong enough and don’t need help! To others, I’m perceived as a ‘happy’ person, does well at work etc. it’s like gambling takes a back seat once I’ve lost.
Today is my Fiancé’s birthday and here I am at 2am with the guilt of my actions.
I need to prioritise gambling over everything as I’ll end up with nothing. I’m curious to know the steps of those who have recovered. The way gambling makes you feel when you have a trigger moment through an advertisement, shop, scratch-card stand.
I’ll be back over the next few days and hope this diary will help another reader. I struggle, I admit it but stronger than ever to find my path to recovery!
I better get some sleep as I’ve got the fiancé’s birthday and we’ll see the ‘happy’ ‘me 😉 who’s great and full of enthusiasm.
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