reborn on the 4th July

Hi castle,
Thank you for your ongoing support. Some great changes on a way in your life !..
Psss..little secret - for me also :-))))
New year new start eh..why don't we just barge our way through it and look back at the end of the year and have a little smile to ourselves - we actually did it!! 🙂
You're on my friend !

(I guess you have no scooby doo what I'm on about lol..you will get a little note soon enough..no worries)

Stay safe and keep battering those nasty thoughts away.

You are doing it!

Sandra xx

Hi castle,

Just popping in to wish you a lovely last day at your store, and a happy belated birthday to you,

Take care and stay safe,

Suzanne xx

Thanks Suzanne Sandra

Settled into my new start on the whole quite quickly, there are some short term issues to deal with but longterm it's fantastic and definitely the right move, for my recovery it's made a massive difference and I can see that already all the stress with work is much less and personally I can see much clearer

The times ahead are exciting with new doors going to be opened and doors on the past been closed at this moment in time I'm in a real good place as always I just need to make the right decisions each day and the future will get even better to

Hi castle,

Soo good to hear your new placement is giving you so much more peace to mind and you're so right, new door has opened, shut the ones behind you firmly and keep discovering new opportunities and goals ahead.
You're definitely worth it.

Keep up the good work dear friend

Sandra xx

Hi castle,

Lovely positive post, it's so good to read thst you are in a good place at this time,

Keep making those right choices and decisions for you, my friend,

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hi Castle,

Just a bump to see how ya doing. Sorry I'm not active on texts, hope to catch up soon 🙂
Hope your new found life is treating ya well 🙂 you more tha deserve it!

Take care and thank you for all your support as always

S x

Thanks Sandra Suzanne NT

Been a few weeks since I posted so a few updates

Work is going fantastic I feel like a different person all the stress of my previous store has gone , for many reasons it's just so much easier , my previous store as hard as it was as out me in a good place for the future out of it the burning question for me , was it me or the job that was the problem and I can now answer that question it was definetely me the stress of everything I have been through in the last 5 years had simply took its toll I was drained mentally from it all and lost sight , now I can see clearly again and the future with work looks bright again

On a personal level again fantastic no money worries at all , it's jess's birthday coming up and it's great to be able to buy her what she wants , also just booked 2 weeks all inc to Spain in the summer and that will be paid off in 3 weeks , my recovery is just going from strength to strength by controlling and understanding what I am dealing with , the biggest change I have made is to put myself first now every decision I make its for me and not like before too many others , people pleasing was a real negative in my recovery

I really thought long and hard about my diary and whether to put a closure on it as I am now closing doors on the past but for now I want to keep it but will just update when I feel the need , I'm wise enough to know that this addiction can bite me at any time and ain't let complacency set in , but again I have to doo what's right for me and at this moment in time it is the right thing to do

Hi Castle,

It's great to hear from you, and even better that you are getting stronger and stronger within your recovery.

Your job move has made a big difference, you are on another level now in your recovery and I am sooo pleased for you.

Thanks for your message today,

Take care and keep going forwards and upwards.

Suzanne xxx

Hi castle,

Thank you for your lovely post. (Made me blush ya charmer lol). Soooo good to hear you're moving on from the past and laying those bricks to your future 🙂
You are more than worth good things in your life my friend...life is for living - enjoy it and make the most of it!

spk later

Sandra x

Glad things are going well for you, your right to put yourself first, get yourself right and everyone else benefits. Take care, stay safe and enjoy your new life!!

Hi castle,

I'm such a laze getting in touch i thought i will drop by on here. Am more than sure that your new found life and adventures are keeping you occupied and you are in such a good place within yourself.

anything is possible indeed and a change is defo needed to help us to progress in ourselves. You are doing just that!

Proud of you

Sandra x

Thanks everyone

Been a mixed few weeks , work going superbly well the stress levels are low and feel really happy where I am I keep in touch with my old store and the stress levels are through the roof for everyone I know now I will never run another store has hard as that one , saying all that it's toughened me up and put me in a good place mentally and can face any challenge thrown at me , a few pressures with money as my rent as gone up and also had my annual review for my IVA and my repayments have gone up on that as well so monthly now I'm worse off , I couldn't quite pay my holiday off but just left 100 to pay off before June , had a fair bit to sy out the previous month with jess's birthday , holiday deposit then Mother's Day was on me but survived it all , so need to readjust and keep focussed

More positives than negatives and just keep working on that one day at a time and for me that's the best advice I could ever give and take

Best wishes to everyone in their recovery

Always good to hear from you castle and great to read you are staying gamble free.

One day at a time is slowly but surely the best way forwards for us, and the positives of abstaining are there plain to see lol.

Keep strong and take care

Suzanne xxx

Hi Castle,

Popping in to say hi, you have not posted for a while, would be great to have an update, you were such a big inspiration to me when I joined this forum, just want to say thanks.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks Suzanne

I thought it was an appropriate day to post with it been the 4th July as its my renamed title which reflects the date of when my divorce was finalised 2 years ago

I guess the important update up is I'm gamble free and have been for a lengthy period as a timescale I have no idea as I never been one for counting days , a rough ball park figure would be around 6 months but it could honestly be more or even less , what's important is right now and mentally I'm in a great place no urges or desire to gamble

Recently though life has been extra tough , work has gone from great to unbearable in a very short time , there has been a massive clear out of management above all with long serving experience and now they are starting on store managers myself included with having 23 years experience of the cooperative way , this is now seen as not the way to go forward all the new management above have been drafted in from Tesco and want to work another way and want to draft their own in , so in April I had a secure job to now where my job is at risk it's a tough one to take as I really haven't done anything wrong but I'm experienced enough to know that if they really want me out they will do it ,there will be some process they will get me on this is happening with many of my colleagues and the process is ruthless putting you on informal improvement plans then formal then finally dismissal if no improvements have been made in their view , in between all this they're cranking up the pressure to break you and then offering a demotion to step down with a reasonable salary , to sum it up in my view it's like a game of holding your nerve and will they actually go all the way and dismiss me but this is playing with people's lives , this has quickly changed my view of the coop quite quickly , going forward if I survive this it will be an awful and stressful place to work and I honestly don't want that

What I am pleased about is a few years back I would have buried my head in the sand and gambled away to relieve the stress , this time I'm been very proactive to the situation , I made the hardest decision and gave notice on my flat and have decided to house share which is not ideal but it will save me 500 pound a month this will give me options with work if the pressure becomes too much I could step down and take an 8000 pay cut and still be better off than when I was in the flat , I'm also looking for other jobs and done my CV and again I don't need to look for a high paid job but something I will enjoy and want to do

On a personal note I have finally closed the door on the last 5 years all the negative things that were in my life are now firmly out if it , that took some doing esp whilst battling a gambling addiction but they were all connected so it was important to break free from them all

So it really is going to be a fresh start me and Jess are off on holiday to Spain in a few weeks and then we will start our new life in a new home , my next update I'm guessing will bring another massive change with work , everything happens for a reason and I'm ready for what will be thrown at me next

My firm view still remains the same this addiction is with me for life I can't beat it it will always lie within me but I can make sure it doesn't beat me and at the moment it isn't , I wish everyone the best fighting this and never give up and keep fighting the fight