reborn on the 4th July

Hi Castle.

Thanks so much for posting a supportive message to me the other day. You will know yourself that it makes all the difference. I'm so much more determined just for having received immediate support from you and others.

I see you had a tough year last year but that you made great strides. It's amazing what we can accomplish when we are not wasting energy, time and money chasing the impossible. Us cg's can never gamble responsibly. Once we accept that we can rebuild. Good on you for joining the gym. A great idea. Healthy body, healthy mind!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Your spot on mate champions league to Sunday league haha. I may watch bits and pieces but I'm the same as you haven't got the enthusiasm for it. Glad you've got ya head screwed on so to speak and making the right choices. Good luck with the gym. Great idea I'm gonna have a real go at getting fit this year to - we shall see.

Hey castle

keep believing

Still full on with work and Jessica the two most important things in my life , I made the decision to reveal her name other than saying my daughter , the main reason why I think she deserves the recognition of the help she has given me in my recovery and hopefully one day when she is old enough she can read my diary and see it writing my love and feelings I av for her

Also its another step for me in my recovery I sometimes still feel ashamed of what I av done the previous 26 years and no one knew the true extent only myself , I think that is why I reveal a little at a time just enough for certain people to know who I am

I often think that when my time comes and at my funeral when the vicar reads out the details of the happenings in ur life people would not av truly known who I was , people lookin at each other mouths wide open , what's important to me and drives me forward is people thinking yes he was a gambler but u know what he did something bout it and did an amazing thing and started to help others whilst getting is own life together

I often mention the word proud to many others when they support people as what everyone on here does is nothing short of amazing but sometimes they don't realise what they do

So for anyone who has took the time to support someone else then take a step back and think what an amazing act of kindness u av done , remember u didn't av to but u did

For that be proud very proud and take that pride and feed into ur own recoveries to go on to live that better life we are all lookin for

Morning Sir,

Many many thanks for your post. I do put a little bit of pressure on myself with these threads but although not for everyone they do help a few and I like to give something back. I think that's in line with your own post this morning and I must say it gave me a lift, quite heart warming!!

I have always held you in the highest esteem and I really do wish you well this year.

Flagg

Those 26 years are gone, just like my 30-odd years. What really matters now are the present and your future.

And it certainly is one that is looking really bright. Keep up with your fantastic resolve and great work.

Your family will just love you even more for this.

NT

Hi Castle,

Read your post this morning and it brought tears to my eyes. Years ago when I attended AA meetings in Chicago, I met a man, another recovering addict who used to say at meetings "we are only as sick as our secrets". Anyway, so much of what you said resonated with me today and reminded me of a very special person I once knew. Just wanting to say thanks for your post on my diary and thanks so much for sharing your thoughts today. -joanxx

hey castle...and as the poem says'..."you took the road less travelled by...and that has made all the difference".

Some people talk a good job but folks like you get on and do it one day at a time...

Youre daughter will also be proud as you should be of yourself and your continued journey ..keep being you as that is more than enough xx

Still very controlled with life at the moment feel so focussed and nothing can knock me out of my stride , so far its been a great start to the year and thats up to me to keep it that way

Ex is goin away with her new bloke and taking jess with them , I av known this for a couple of weeks as jess told me normally I wouldn't want the confrontation with ex bout it but it was bothering me that she had not mentioned it , so instead of letting it be on my mind I spoke to her bout it think she thought I would go mad but I'm fine with it as long as she introduces jess slowly into his life and she is happy with him , this is something I always knew would happen one day , my view is I will always be jess's dad and no one can replace me thats down to me to show my love give her the attention that she needs , what will be interesting is how my ex reacts when I meet someone knew but no worries on that front for now

Am just enjoying life for now , off to gym tomorrow for 1st time in years think thats gonna be a life changer lol but looking forward to it

Castle,

Get the ice bath ready. I hope you enjoyed going to the gym and I am sure you will feel the benefit even although you may ache for the first few days. Sometimes (life permitting) I go to a boxing class and it is amazing for when you have had a bad day at work or in life and you get to take all that anger and frustration out on the punchbag.

P.S. My wife loves the name Jessica. If we had a girl Jessica was one of two names that we were thinking of.

Tomso.

LOL yeah the ex's and their mates can always make for some odd feelings. Sounds like your kinda prepared for it and yeah life goes on.

Looks like your hanging tight in the new year and enjoying it so who could ask for more.

Keep up the good work

Great to here that positivity. Great start to the year and of course your right you'll always be her dad no worries there. Good luck with the gym. Stick with it, 2013, a year to make more positive changes, a great year for us all.

Hey My King,

Acted like the true gentleman you are....Had a smile the size of wimbledon common!

Jessica knows that you are her dad, her inspiration........and most of all....her hero!

What an amazing man you are!

Womble...feeling all fuzzy inside xxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. Don't think you are getting fitter than "karate kid".......love a bit of competition.

More stress with solicitor , he phoned me last night for an update still no further on waiting on ex's solicitor and the info on my pension wasn't correct so no end in right yet , then behold this mornin a letter came from them with a billof all the recent costs basically 38 mins work through phone calls , letters and preparation totalling 170 quid !! Thats wiped me out once again as I only recently paid in am extra two hundred pound and now they want another two hundred to say I am not happy is an understatement , all I want is this to all end the stress is getting way too much , all I can do is try and hold it all together till its finalised

Went to the gym which really helped and enjoyed it esp as there was a punch bag there so made full use of it and let some real steam off , one thinks I'm gonna be hurting in the morning but its all for the greater good

So today not a good day I need to accept what as happened and move on from it , see what tomorrow brings