reborn on the 4th July

Hey castle

As your user name suggests your walls are strong and solid to keep you safe during this time of letting go and change.

Also can see a determination to plough ahead now and I know you will ride out the emotional ups and downs..keeping in mind this too shall pass.

Sounds like you have a long day ahead but a chance to be out of routine plus free food I guess..lol

Dots loves the snow as I do when it's white and everything is quiet..don't like that sludge type that we always get in the north west due to rain rain rain..gonna make the most of it x

Have a good time at the gym....had a chuckle there too about things we thought we would never say....mine being I can't wait to get back to work....lol

R and d xx

Thanks castle. That's what it's all about making the right choices. Glad your situation with your friend is moving forward. Keep enjoying that gym. Great way to fill your time. Hope your conference goes well today. Take care castle.

Had a real good day yesterday and really enjoyed it took a lot from the day , was rewarded with a bottle of champagne for my efforts last year so was pleased with that , didn't go back to work after but been constantly in touch loads to communicate back

Off to jess,'s assembly doesn't seem 2 mins since last Fri time goes so quick , then phonin solicitor as had a letter from them that should av had a copy of letter from exes solicitor which wasn't there , I av so had enough now the endless mistakes they av made is unreal so I'm just telling them straight today , goin to stay in control though but be firm in what I say

Off to gym later so will let some steam off there , life will get better but only I can make that better

hey castle

Hope you made the most of that champers or maybe saving it for a snowy day ...lol

I think work has been the one thing that has kept us stable during the previous year even though for obvious reasons it's brought you additional challenges.

Just reaching a level of acceptance now and thank you for understanding...I don't feel a poor me as much and the bitterness is subsiding ...but you know what it's like...you can feel ok ticking along and then one letter or phone call can trip it off again...

Your posts have given me hope castle as I think you are further down the line than me but even though I know you have bad days ..you always seem to be optimistic of a future after all your this has been sorted out which for a long time I haven't had...

Thank you for making me see there is a light at the end of this tunnel...

Keep posting from the heart too...honest and real is where it's at.

Enjoy today and keep a frozen smile on your face for Jess in the snow..lol

Got an another email from my boss about snow contingencies ..it's reads like a military operation.

R and d xx

Hi Castle,

Thank u 4 ur continued support on my diary, it means a lot 2 me 🙂

I hope the punch bag is ok at the gym lol 🙂

I am sure Jessica's assembly made u smile and very proud, I hope she is enjoying the snow 🙂

I hope things work out with ur Solicitor soon, u seem 2 always be going thru a tough time with them 🙁

One thing I know tho, is ur strength and determination will get u thru the tough times, like u said one day at a time!

I am sooooo proud of u Castle 🙂

Have a gr8 nite xx

Had a good day yesterday spoke with solicitor and did myself proud told him exactly my feelings what I wanted from him now and after it felt good , gym went well overdid it a bit but was worth it

Snows not too bad this way just off to battle my way to work then got a few days off so lookin forward to that been a while since that

Hi Castle,

Ur last post was gr8 2 read, ur strength shines thru 🙂

Despite all that life throws ur way, u remain strong and gamble free... U give me so much hope!

I hope u get all the happiness u deserve very soon 🙂

I hope u r enjoying ur days off 🙂

Take care xx

Took jess sledging this morning was her 1st time , she had mixed feelings of fear and excitement but overall think she enjoyed it , just had a day in after that playing games and watching a film , love her to bits and she has had a great day , when she left drove to gym only to find it was shut so will go in morning now

Goin to watch snooker final now and probably fall asleep which is bout right , no work tomorrow so will try and lay inbut no doubt won't normally up at 5 so anything after will be a bonus

Castle.

Fella i know i don't write upon your thread often, but i rarely miss a days post.

My friend you have come such a long way in your journey a journey which has thrown all but the kitchen sink in your direction.

To which you have stood strong, learnt a huge amount yourself and remain dedicated to your quest to live life to the best you can.

To read you lay your soul bare is hugely inspiring and today fella i would like to give thanks to you for sharing.

I hope 2013 delivers to you a cascade of things to make your hearts content.

Because you earnt it. With honour and strength.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks Duncan for ur kind words it gave me a huge lift to read what u wrote

Been off today but might as well av worked , the snow caused havoc staff not getting in or late so been on the phone half of the day

Did manage to get to the gym and enjoyed that not done a great deal other than that , also managed to post on a few diaries which found hard recently but reading think many are finding Jan a tough month

Still no news with divorce just want it over the stress of it all will be a massive relief when it goes through I think its affecting me more than I think

Still fighting though and sometimes thats all I can do

Hi Castle,

Thank u 4 ur continued support on my diary. It means a lot 2 me 🙂

I liked reading ur post yesterday about u taking Jessica sledging, made me smile.... I am sure she had lots of fun with her Dad 🙂 Times like that r priceless!

U r a fighter Castle, u give me a lot of hope!

I hope ur divorce is over 4 u really soon, u deserve 2 be stress free and happy 🙂

I am proud of u 🙂

Have a gr8 nite xx

Hi Castle, thanks for your post mate I can only but keep fighting when I have my relapses. I am going to go easier on myself as the pressure to not gamble for the rest of my days is too much I can't guarantee anymore that I won't but everyday I don't gamble I win, so for now that will do.

I hope you are okay you are going through so much at the moment and you area stronger person than me. always read your posts.

Hi castle

Just wanted to say thank you for your kind words on my diary. I find supporting others just as therapeutic to my recovery as writing my own diary. Plus reading others diaries gives me so much inspiration. Some I keep for my own benefit and some I try to pass on to others. This site is wonderful for that. It really lifts me up on a regular basis. Not that I'm down at all, not since I quit gambling, but it lifts me even higher than I was. I go to work and approach my everyday chores with a better sense of purpose these days. Feels like I'm really getting a life back.

Thanks again. Will read through your diary in more depth over the next few days.

G

Had a few beers last night which was nice knowing not to get up this mornin , until jess texted me at half seven to say morning bless her couldn't be mad with her if tried just a simple morning daddy I love u gave me the perfect start for the day

Had a nice chill day with just one phone call from work , whilst channel surfing I noticed the African nations cup was on and that brought back many memories from a year ago as I mentioned in my 2nd post my last bet b4 I started my diary and road to recovery was on this football tournament I lost out to a 97th min goal , as I watched today the score was one nil and in the 94th min an equaliser was scored my immediate thoughts were someone is goin to be hurting right now the pennies had been counted and planning the next bet only for it to be snatched away from them , that happened to me on many occasions and my instant reaction was to win it back the chase began and 99% of the time I lost again talk bout mess with ur head

The mind is much more clearer there days still stuff I need to sort but out of my hands for now , sometimes I forget that when I shouldn't , life is for living and thats important to remember

Hi Castle,

Thank yor your continued support......How right you are about us all finding Jan a difficult month!

"Morning Daddy I love you".....music to your ears Castle.

Fellah...I sense a new zone that you are entering....Gym.....Telling the solicitor what "you" want and sorting out your "dead" relationship.

Things are definitly on the up!

Sue x