reborn on the 4th July

Thanks Rachael and la

All my head and ears are throbbing this mornin , like I said I'm a lot better than what I was but no way am I anywhere near been myself and I just hate it , so much want to get better and its just not happening , will see how I go on the next few days and go back to docs if I can't shake it , all I seem to av done is moan bout how I feel which is really not like me just normally get on with it

Went to see the councillor yesterday which was the 1st time in 6 weeks didn't use my full hour she's brought me on a long way but its getting to the point where she's done all she can do , I av booked for one in 8 weeks I think just to catch up . Really want her to see the divorce through with me as she has been there every step of the way

Despite everything at the moment life is good and can't really complain I know deep down it could be so much worse

Hi Castle,

I hope u feel better really soon, u r such a strong person. I have so much time 4 u. U have supported me thru the good and the bad here unconditionally, ur support has helped keep me strong so thank u from the bottom of my heart 🙂

I hope Jessica is ok 🙂

I am thinking of u, take care xx

Gettin so frustrated now just can't get better , two and half weeks now and no end in sight , as much as I av no energy I am still determined to stay close to this site as been ill is mentally draining and could easily lose focus

Off work tomorrow so early night and a good lie in morning , jess coming round bout 11 , she's finding it tough as well she can't understand why I'm feeling so ill and why I'm not much fun to be with , hopefully tomorrow will feel better and can make a special effort with her

Thanks castle for the much needed support. I'm feeling a bit more positive but not sure if that's a good thing. Need to remember the terrible feelings I got before during and after gambling. But whatever I'm feeling I must stay off this gambling lark. I'll keep trying. I'll *** it sooner or later. Hopefully sooner!!

Hope you get yourself better soon 2 and half weeks is a bloody long time. Get to the docs. Demend some drugs lol. Seriously tho hope ya get yourself on the mend soon. Fingers crossed your a bit better today - if not it'll be doctors and nurses with jess today lol. Take care mate.

Went back to doctors yesterday but just nothing they can give me as its a virus there are on antibiotics for it , it will go on its own accord so just av to ride it out , mentally now its getting so hard feel really low today and finding it hard to stay focussed , got jess this mornin then off to work later so on a positive will be busy

This illness is just taking over my life and not just affecting me but others around me , I just want to get better !

Hi castle,

My heart goes out to you as feeling unwell for such a long time can really knock us out of kilter. Rest as much as you can, take some vitamin c and take care of yourself as best you can. I hope you start to feel better really soon soon.

Take care

Blondie

Over 3 weeks now and still not better , I just feel I'm offering nothing to my own diary let alone anyone else's , I guess thats the mental impact this is having on me

I dont want to keep on writing bout how ill I feel so not goin to post now till I know I'm on the mend , I will still read daily and stay focussed

Hi Castle, sorry to hear that you continue to feel unwell. I know that whenever I have felt unwell or have been in physical or mental pain its really knocked me sideways and totally changed my thoughts and outlook.

However remmber that you are still offering a great deal to yourself and others by simply writing about how you feel. Historially its all the underlying stuff that has led to gambling so feeling ill and writing about feeling ill is all relevant and valid just as much as writing about gambling specific stuff.

I went through a period of back in 2011 of just talking about back pain. It made me feel lousy so i talked about it. Eventually it got better am sure you will get better too.

Anyway here is me sending you get well vibes. Take good care... S.A 🙂

Hey castle

Virus's are nasty and you sound like youve had a real bad strain ...as Blondie said plenty of vit c..fluids...if its that novo virus it can knock you off your feet...

Don't worry about your diary ..as SA says ..it's all valid and relevant,,your probably at a stage where you are detoxing all the cr** of the last few years in the form of a virus...consider it a clearout...body heating up and blasting it all out ofmyour system ... you will build your strength back up after this ...

Keep posting castle if and when you can ....

R and d xx

Thanks guys

Well after 3 weeks two days I can actually say I am starting to feel better not 100% but better which is something I didn't think I ever would again

Hopefully now as each day goes by the strength will return and be back to my old self very soon , the old been the new me from the last year lol and not the one from the previous 26 !

Hey castle....glad your on the mend...the new old you returning to full strength...

Thank you for posting...you know what I'm like...dumping out the trash somedays...clearing the way for the good stuff to come in...lol

R and d xx

Been a tough few days , went to gym Monday which was the 1st time in 3 weeks tried not to over do it but it took so much out of me then had a really long day at work yesterday and that did exactly the same , a stark reminder that even though better and on the mend no way am I back to my normal self

Finding it hard to motivate myself with everything in life and def lost my appetite for this site , hopefully it will return which I know it does from previous times , on a real positive the control I av in my life with respects to gamblmg and money I couldn't be happier , over the last few weeks I av maintained my discipline and focus , financially now I am so much better just the not knowing of my divorce which is still draggin on

So overall a mixed bag today but I know myself and am not worried , jess's birthday this Saturday so she is excited she still plays a massive part in my life and my recovery and for her I will always be thankful

Morning Sir,

Good to read you are slowly on the mend. Reading through this last few weeks you really have been through it. I think this is a particularly tough time of year in terms of motivation and picking ourselves up to get things done. Coupled with the illness I think you have done tremendously well to stay focused on the no gambling.

I also have been struggling a general malaise for me but I basically just set myself a target of getting through Jan and Feb bet free and intact ready to push on through the rest of the year. Part 1 has now been accomplished. March is about to begin and I know we both talked about 2013 being a great year for us, no time like the present to start making that happen.

Take Care my friend,

Flagg

Been a good few days work gone really well and spent some quality time with jess , been off today and had a nice chill got all my jobs done early so been able to put my feet up and relax

Just off to jess's birthday party she has 8 friends goin , she's having it a place called lush in town all smelly stuff one thinks goin to MacDonalds b4 altogether with cake costing nearly 250 ! Goin halves with ex , jess is worth every penny and it makes me happy that I'm now in a position to be able to pay for it , not so long ago that would av been a real struggle

Hi Castle,

I hope Jess had a gr8 bday, and u r feeling better 🙂

U r a such a gr8 guy Castle, I have so much time 4 u!

I am always here 4 u 🙂

Have a gr8 nite xx