Road to Recovery Part 2

Day 11 was all going so well and then this evening it has really hit me. Before i first quit i basically lost my life savings that was for a deposit for a house, the second time round it wasnt as big a sum but significant enough. Im now single and back living with my mum and it has really hit me that I won't be moving out any time soon due to my previous mistake. There is a small part of me that is saying you can win some back but I know that i can't and that is what brought me here.

I am remaining strong but i'm a bit down in the dumps this evening due to being unhappy with my current situation. I am the only one to blame for this so I have to remain strong so this doesnt happen again.

Day 12 - Nothing exciting to report but another day ticked off. I seem to have spent my time eating instead of thinking as work was quiet.

Day 13 another tricky day with resentment, no bet.

Day 14 - 2 weeks are up and have gone by quickly, every now and again i think what if i could just win back some of that money. I dont want to go back to my old ways and i don't want to go back to 0 days gamble free. Seeing the days add up are part of what is keeping me going. 14 days and counting.

Nothing to gain in going back having a bet you might go on a roll and with for a bit and win a few quid but at the end of the day you will only give it back because you can't STOP

KTF

After a busy saturday playing cricket Day 15 flew by and then I kept myself busy with a few games of darts and beers with friends.

Day 16 - Not one thought of betting on a day that included watching a few football games. Im finding it easier to talk about my problem and looking forward.

Day 17- No plans as of yet today but one thing i wont be doing is throwing my money away at a machine or a race. I have just been paid and treated myself toi a few clothes. My driving force is to save for a trip to New York in September and if I was to start betting again then that wouldnt happen.

Day 18 - Its days like today that I would quite easily go into the bookies and waste an hour or two of my life. Had a long, stressfull day at work, finished late, grid lock traffic and tired. I was planning on going to the gym but usually i would be distracted by betting. Instead I have had dinner and rather than get more stressed will just chill out. Another day done.

Hi ky93.

Congrats on 20 days. Doing well. You have a great sense of mind and strong resistance. The days will build up faster and faster.

Thanks for your story and support.

Thanks JJT, I keep giving myself small targets, 10 days - 2 weeks - 20 days - 3 weeks (It is 3 weeks today since i last gambled and it doesn't really feel it was that long ago) Next target 4 weeks, im working all weekend so my mind should be occupied for a while.

Day 21 - 3 weeks today since I last bet, the sun is shining and im feeling more positive today. Thanks to everyone on this forum.

Up to Day 23 now and the last few days have been the easiest of the lot even though all week i have heard about the vast amounts of money people have won backing Leicester as that is my home town. Fair play to them, i wouldnt of backed them at 10,000-1 never mind 5000-1.

The city is buzzing and so far so good on the recovery.

Was it temptation or not? Twice today I felt the urge to bet, one this morning when I was with my brother and I dont know why as i have never bet with my brother, he is anti gambling and knows about my problem so im not sure how those feelings came about. The other was when i was walking the dog, i did walk past one of the old bookies i used to go in and i withdrew some cash for rent, maybe it all brought back memories of the old routine. The difference is this time i carried on walking and the rent money was used exactly for that.

Day 25- Strange day with the feelings but temptation resisted. Back to work tomorrow.

Day 26 came and went. Watched the football and enjoyed the game without just cheering on one polayer to score. Another day ticked off and its 4 weeks tomorrow that i last gambled. Onto Day 26.

Wishing you strength Kt.

Day 27 was spent pretty hung over due to it being a collegues birthday, we actually went to the casino andthey all know that i dont gamble any more. I didn't have any urges to gamble at all and just thought i have lost so much money in that place im not giving them any more.

4 weeks gamble free.

Nice one - four weeks is a great start.

Thanks Change, I have been going through a bit of a tough time as i haven't taken my break up particularly well. From looking at buying our first home to then splitting up is hard to take after 4 and a 1/2 years together. We have kept in touch for the last 5 months and its dauning on me that it is time to let go and move on. Last night i could easily of gone to the bookies and gambled, instead i just went for a drive to clear my head. I might not be able to control the decision of others and have to let go of my relationship but i can control my deicion to gamble or not and as long as i keep on this ofrum it will give me strength to contiune my journey.