Rock bottom gets worse

Hi vinnie I Hope did not upset you today on chat when I said how much I lost it’s been worrying all afternoon hope you Can forgive me if i did Your gamcare friend 

scotty xx

Hi-ho Hi-ho LivelySoul has reached the big four 0

For 40 days and 40 nights this lady laboured on

Determined and assured that she would do no wrong

A heroine with nerves of steel keeping her eye on the goal

Them gambling days are long gone now for our good friend LivelySoul

Stephen 

Stephen your poems allways cheer me up , you are lovely ?.... well done livelysoul on the big 40 cake to celebrate ? ??

Hi Lively. Hope your having a good day.

I have been worrying about your toothache and will be pleased when you get yourself to the dentist!

Good to see you on chat earlier and thank you for your words of support.

Best wishes 

Stephen x 

Well done on hitting 40 days l think you should be so proud of yourself from the night in your car is when I first seen your  diaries you have been a inspiration to me on my long Journey and may it continueI will make you a nice big cake well done ??

Hey,

You're doing very well! Keep the clear head, peaceful heart and soul intact.We all will get through this difficult time.For now we need to aknowledge every little mercy out there...eg. no gambling incidents...That is really positive.Stay safe, committed and be kind to you

S.......xx

Hey! Havnt been on in awhile but thought I'd catch up, glad to see your still doing well x

Good evening Lively. Hope you are happy and well. It was good to see you in the chatroom earlier.

I imagine this lockdown must be very difficult for you as you have been used to driving to and from work where you would have had interesting things to keep you occupied plus the camaraderie of your work colleagues.

Try to remain positive my friend and keep your spirits up.

Wishing you a good nights sleep with lovely dreams

Stephen x 

Ps Brain Of Britain has just started on Radio 4 so that should confuse me lol ?

Thank you scottydog,SB28, the fun has stopped and Stephen for your kind words and support on my diary. It means a lot. 

Its day 44 and what can I say. At first I thought I would hate the lockdown and all of the restrictions but strangely enough I have seemed to find myself constantly busy one way or another. I haven’t had an opportunity to get bored as I have filled my time from the time of getting up until going to bed, which on some occasions has been the early hours of the morning. 

I have done lots of work as working from home and Stephen, I am definitely not missing the drive to work. What better then for the alarm to go off, roll out of bed and go downstairs in my dressing gown to sit at my dining table. For started I get at least an extra hour and a half in bed. I could get used to that! 

I have done lots of cooking and baking, especially the baking. Anyone who spoken to me or been in chat over the past few weeks will know by now that I have a real love of cake.  ?

I’ve spent lots of time with my daughter, which has been lovely and she’s enjoying her time at home too. I think we are both so busy usually that it’s nice to have some quality time at home together. 

I’ve spent lots of time on chat, speaking to lots of my lovely gamcare friends and chatting to a new friend @vinnie until the early hours of the morning giggling ourselves stupid. I cannot remember a time when I have been this content with life. 

I wish I had of had this realisation sooner but gambling has no place in my life anymore. 

Wishing everyone a happy Easter. ?

Lively

Livelysoul you are simply adorable. Your diary always gives me peace of mind and hope for the future. It is full to the brim with love, warmth and understanding and is one of the diaries I like to visit. Your posts are from the heart and inspire me to achieve great things. ?  ?‍♂️ ?

Today, I can distinctly smell freshly baked scones on your diary and I do like a tasty scone so please do bring a few along with you to the chatroom this evening. ?

Hope you and your wonderful daughter are having a super duper day.

Best wishes 

Stephen x 

Thank you stephen as always for putting a smile on my face when I visit my diary. 

I see you Vinnie mentioned the scone making. They are still yet to materialise but they will be in the oven soon. 

Today is day 46, so far I have had a very lazy day as I woke up feeling pretty rubbish with a bad headache. I don’t know if that is due to not going to sleep until 4.30am after watching movies with my daughter or withdrawal symptoms from my favourite fizzy. Or maybe it’s a combination. On the upside, other then feeling physically rubbish, mentally I am great and coming ever closer to my 50 day goal. I’ve done some house work so have been somewhat productive and after writing this, going to start making these elusive scones I keep talking about. ? 

I also paid another reasonable sum on my debts now I know I have enough until the end of the month and that felt great. I’ve made more progress in the last 46 days then in the last two years. Not only with the debts but also mentally. I am very grateful for everything I have right now, especially with the circumstances and seeing the devastation in other people’s lives. Often we take too many things for granted and only realise when it’s too late. This is an opportunity to re learn the value of things, not only of money but relationships, choices and the future. This has taught me to be grateful for what you do have, not what you don’t have. 

Wishing all my gamcare friends a happy Easter Monday and another day gf. 

Lively

Great to see you and Vinnie in the chatroom this afternoon Lively.

I don't think I have ever encountered two people quite so wonderful as you two.

You make me smile, lift my spirits and keep me on the straight and narrow.

Many thanks

Stephen x x 

Aww thanks Stephen, coming to my diary and finding a post from you always makes me smile too. Maybe we can be smiling buddies ?

Day 49

Feeling worse for wear today and sadly, I have to admit, it’s self inflicted. Not sure whose bright idea it was out of mine or Vinnie’s to start watching documentaries on gambling addiction at 2am this morning. They were really interesting and gave some really good insight and discussion points - I’m just not sure sitting up until 6am was the smartest idea. I’m yet to determine if I’m the bad influence or Vinnie ?. 

Despite feeling exhausted from last nights antics, I am happy and am only 1 day off my next target of 50 days! Considering doing some more baking later this afternoon when I can muster the energy as a little celebratory treat. ?? -any excuse to eat cake will do! Not planning to do much else. 

It was interesting as my daughter watched them with me which opened up several discussions about various things, that we have probably never discussed before. Not much else I can think of right now so going to go for an afternoon nap to try and restore some energy. 

Hope everyone is having a good, gamble-free afternoon.

Lively

 ? CONGRATULATIONS ?‍♀️ LIVELY SUPER STAR ?‍♀️ 50 DAY GF ?

? Excellent progress on your gamble free journey ?

?‍♀️Wishing you happy days, contentment and plenty of wild & whacky adventures ?‍♀️

From Stephen x 

Thank you Stephen. I’m so happy to have got to 50 days! First big target down so now onto 100 days. 

Well I managed to get to sleep by about 3am last night which was better than the night before but my body clock is shot at the minute. Need to resist having an afternoon nap to get back into routine by  Monday. Not much planned for today, maybe a bit of housework and some baking - I may bake some savoury stuff for a change. 

Hope everyone has a good day and remains gamble free. 

Lively