SadG wants to be happyG

Never give up trying sadg that's the main thing I slipped many times as you know but as long as we stay focused we can soon get back on track you can do this mate as now you will be stronger and wiser don't beat yourself up just regroup and beat this illness.

The bear

just flying by to say wishing you renewed strength.

xxx

Hi G

Tough time for you and i can feel the emotions and frustrations pooring through ! keep in there my friend, as you know it will get easier.... Dark Place

Hello My friend

How was your weekend ? any easier or still processing everything ? i know its not easy especially at the start, God knows we know it. Hope your ok, Dark Place /

I'm fine thanks DP. No gambling at all. Gonna take a while to get over this one if ever. Cannot express my anger enough at succumbing to this sick addiction again.

Just down in Kent with my wife and kids. Been doing some early Christmas shopping and had a nice dinner at friends house last night.

Will be back in London for the week tomorrow. Hope everyone is well.

G

G,

Pleased to here you're back on the wagon mate. Use that anger/bitterness for a good purpose - i.e. to remind where you don't want to return.

As you know, one step at a time and you'll get there.

D123

Hi G

Pleased you had good time with friends in Kent, probably needed that. Have a good week back in London and by the way i forgot to ask, did you enjoy the game Tottenham 0 West Ham 3 🙂 I can say that i really did..... we have you in the qtr finals of the league cup as you know, i am considering going to the game !

Keep strong my friend, Dark Place

Hmmm DP.

I was driving back from Wiltshire that day listening to the game on the radio. We got well and truly turned over that day and you deserved your victory. A chance to make amends now in the Qtr finals. We'll see.

Not sure if I'll go to that game or not. Weds 18th Dec. Maybe. Will check my rota at work and see. Tend to just go to my share of the season ticket games. Too busy most of the time. I get 5 games a season as my share of the season ticket. It's enough for me and means I get to see my team play.

Well it's been a week of constant reflection in trying to understand why I lapsed with the gambling. Problem is I just don't know. Complacency I guess. I'm more angry that I didn't transfer the funds out of the account as I have been doing. I must get back to doing that from the start of next month. I have no urges to gamble, not today and not tomorrow. It's like I've just had an expensive wake up call and now I'll go back to what I was doing right for the last 10 months. Coming so close to Christmas has really pi**ed me off. To blow the 1000's that I have has hurt me so much financially. Soooo stupid!!! Why did I have to blow so much????Lapsing is one thing, but the size of the blowout is what's hurting right now.

Thanks for your support, Bears, D123 and Simmo. Good to know my Gamcare friends are still there for me.

I will tighten the belt for this month, get through December(Xmas) and will walk this path again as I rack up the months but this time with more stringent blocks and processes in place. Getting those funds out of the account and transferred elsewhere is vital now and I will give that priority every payday to ensure this doesn't happen again.

d**n you complacency and d**n you addiction. Leave me alone!!

Have a great week everyone.

G

I'm sorry it all went so badly wrong but well done for resolving to fight again and not just keep slipping further and further. Although I haven't slipped up for almost a year now I still get insane urges and have to immediately transfer my wages into non accessible places and still keep self excluding when a new bookie opens. I am such a prime candidate for complacency issues and so much of what you say rings true. I feel for you as only someone who has gambled their way into Hell can know but I also know that you have to just look forward straight away. That devil will always be on our shoulder. He may go quiet for months/years but when he starts tempting us again we have to remember why we are on this site. We can't gamble. Ever. You seem like a great chap who cares for his family and your 10 months of success are an inspiration. You can and you will have the gamble free life you deserve. DB

Mr G

fella I am equally gutted to read that gambling was allowed back in the door and am more than made up to see that you are firmly back on the recovery road.

I myself let my continued abstinence go with three hours of madness a week ago today, to which I know complacency played a big part.

The best advice we can take is to learn and move forward, the losses another lesson.

Gambling may have taken a small victory in battle llast week, for us my friend I know who will win the war.

Did you ever set that mountain climb challenge into motion?? goals an targets are a hugely rewarding part of recovery.

Keep making the right choce.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi G

Really pleased you are back here posting and identifying why it all went wrong, its an important part of the process. This site/friends here was instrumental in allowing us to go so long before without gamling ! we have to remember to come here and continue to express our feelings. It is a DEFINATE distration from thinking about those gambling demons.

I have no doubt you will be racking those days/months/years shortly again. I am right with you my friend, never above you never below you but always besides you. Dark Place, have a great weekend

Hi

Look your lucky in away if you had of won gambling you would not be posting here now. Your recovery is precious you have been dealt a hard lesson but learn from it and move forward. I was off gambling for nearly 3 years and then wham I had a massive bet it won and seven years later I am still trying to get my recovery back on track and I have lost multiples of my original win. Look after yourself and keep your recovery going, money is only money hard to say but its the truth you will always get more. You had 10 happy months where you were a good person and still are look after yourself and your recovery. Everything else will follow.

Michael

Well it's been about 12 days of being gamble free as I start this journey again. Back in Nov 2012 I started my first journey. I was broken and on my knees desperate for help. 10 months later I was feeling in a whole new world until, without any real reason, I gambled again and then again at the end of October. This time I'm not broken and I'm not on my knees because I learnt so much about myself in those 10 months. I'm just angry that I got complacent and allowed that gambling devil on my shoulder to have his way. Really angry!! Things are certainly different now. All I need to do is learn from this and to get straight back to what I was doing so well. I will do it again!

Had a really nice weekend. Remembrance Sunday with my family. My son is in Beavers and so was in a parade to the local church. Church service. We will remember them. Then back to the British Legion Club in my village. It was packed and the day was great. Good to catch up with a few faces. Then hit the gym with my wife on Monday and spent some time with my little lad before driving back to London for work. Just finished the nightshift.

There are no thoughts of gambling. It is fresh in my mind again just how close I came to ruining Xmas for my family last year. It's nearly happened again but I have seen the light again and am back on my path to recovery. Thankfully a lot of presents have already been bought. My wife is very organised like that and buys throughout the year. Still more to buy but it won't break the bank.

Looking forward to the weekend so I can get back down to Kent to see my family. Gym tomorrow. Time to sleep now. Have a great week everyone.

G

Good Morning G

Great to hear you have started well on the road to recovery. Its not easy those first few days and debts have mounted, you jsut keep thinking can i win it back and solve the problem ! the rest of the story we both know well.

Thanks for asking about my kids in Finland, I will be in Finland for a short business trip on the 25th Nov until the 27th so i wont get chance.. Great news however as they will come to stay with me on boxing day, I will collect them from stanstead on the 26th and take them back to finland on the 8th January so i am really looking forward to that.

Have a great week my friend and hold that thought of your kids waking up christmas day with no presents because you had blown it all on online gambling sites, not a great thought is it 🙁

Take care my friend and stay strong.

Dark Place

Great to have your kids over for a couple of weeks into the new year DP. I'm sure you'll love every minute of your time with them.

I have been reading a book about Steve Jobs( co-founder of Apple). In it his one continuous theme is that he always wanted to make the best possible product. At times he was maybe a little tetchy and difficult, to say the least, in his drive to achieve this. I was reading this book on the tube coming back home. When I got in I've spent the last couple of hours watching You Tube of some interviews he did over the years and that same theme is always there. The need to create the best possible product. Once he made a relative success in the early days the money became very irrelevant to him.

Then I just watched an interview Mark Zuckerberg did this year about how he started Facebook and the challenges he faced in the early stages. Again his real drive was never about money but about connecting people and creating the best product he can to do that.

Ok my point is this. Whether you like/loathe/love/hate either of these guys is irrelevant. They wanted to wake every day and be excited and driven about going out and creating the best product they can/could. It's got me thinking.

I want to adapt this thinking to my life as a gambler or ex-gambler I should say. I want to rethink and rebrand myself as the best possible person I can be. For me and my family. To be the best 'product'. To not have to think about money and to realise that it is my own self drive and worth that is far more important to my success. If I can wake every day and enjoy creating the best product I can it will give me far more satisfaction than any short(and they are always short) winning streak I may enjoy from having a punt. I can't create anything whilst I'm a gambler because my judgement will always be clouded, My decisions irrational, my health not optimal and my mind in denial.

Really, some of you may say? Yes I say. Inspiration can come from many mysterious directions but this evening I have been greatly inspired. This product(me) is now a definitive work in progress and I will aim to create a wonderful product.

Have an inspirational weekend everyone. I feel good right now. I will sleep on it and wake tomorrow with a new found positivity.

G