Staying out of the ZONE (T2)

I pulled through. Angels are watching. day 28 feels safer now. thx. odaat t2

Whoa. The morning of day 29 had my mind spinning , my chemistry peaked to want to be sitting and playing. For a while it felt inevitable that I would drive away. I was literally ungrounded and being pulled. I felt nausea once again and confusion. Somehow I went out and bought a juice after having gone out earlier and then walked back without coffee in my hand. I sat for a while , felt safer then went out for a bottle of juice. I was so happy to see that it was turning to 8 a.m. which meant I could now connect online and come to write that I am now onto day 29 odaat. T2

Well done Tara,

Every day you abstain will make you stronger, and the nausea will go, as the days build up:))

Suzanne xxx

I just viewed a video on you tube from celebrate recovery and the man who has 20 years clean from many things was talking about odaat. He related each day to a brick. After a month you've got a small wall to put between yourself and your addiction. I like that. Tomorrow is one month for me. T2

You're doing great. Keep positive, keep building the wall.

CW

One month! I don't have much to say today. Actually there is a lot to share but I don't know where to start. odaat... today is just another day and another chance to be gf. T2

Saying you are one month gamble free is suffice enough:)))

Well done you.

Suzanne xxx

Now What? day 31... I've counted days before. I'm thinking there is some way to do this recovery differently so I don't trip myself out on the day counting and just throw in the towel because I feel restrained. I have to really want this recovery, the peace that it offers, the new choices. I suppose I have to find a passion and start to feed it. This passion must be something more than just a boyfriend because although relationship is a base line want/need for me that I appreciate and that I do have... I have to feed myself and my own interests . I need to branch out like a tree and find my flowers and fruits in life. If he loves me and we were meant to be he will be there to celebrate my discoveries and creations and I will be there to do the same. Into the unknown. T2

Lovely way of putting possibilities and choices for your future Tara, and it is possible,

Suzanne xxx

Dear Tara,

Thank you so much for your post the other day. It is always nice hearing from someone new. Very much appreciated!

Well done on 32 days (I hope). Very much rooting for you!

Markx

I guess I'm looking at 35 days today. I stayed with a friend for a few days and she is struggling with an alcohol problem and dealing with childhood abuse issues. One night she drank and I did feel uncomfortable as she says that she is quitting and it's also hard to be around ... just for me. It's hard to be around active addiction when I myself am in recovery. But the next day, when I really wanted to leave and could not because of a storm, we did talk about addiction . We talked about triggers and we also talked about the one day at a time journey where trigger are not a reason to go to the addiction... they are a reason to reach for other options and to sit with the uncomfortable feeling if needed until it passes. I also care but am not getting involved. It's really not my business. I can support others in recovery and I can share my experience. I can also set boundaries if connections feel like it will damage my own recovery. Any way... I really wanted to drive to a casino on the way there and then on the way home. I felt nausea and I felt confused . I did not gamble and I took alternative routes instead of driving right by the casinos, even though that route was prettier and less traffic. My weekend was a long journey with quite a story. I'm happy to be home and still strengthening my odaat living. It feels good to be back and good to be writing here. T2

36 days. I'm sitting in a quandary about life. HEre I have my new books on codependance. I can do what is in front of me and can be done. Can't look too far ahead and criticise myself or too far back. What can I do? LIke the serenity prayer says. T2

I am not happy today. Many things going on. But, I know that I can find balance, I always do. 37 days today.

This wednesday should be one month and 1/2 since I last gambled other than a couple scratchers. It's been good to taste sobriety and learn but it's been hard ... many times over the last month plus. I am feeling more sane and serene. I have a coin on my dashboard with the serenity prayer upon it. T2

Way to go Tara!!

Little steps forward...no looking back, even if i failed more times than i can count, i tasted freedom...it is worth it, keep them days mounting up...please...you will get there and results for hard work are priceless,...ever felt soul lifting up to the sky? You will do if you keep your determination and strength going ☺

Merry and peaceful Xmas

S x