Stephan's Story

Hi all,

Still going well over here. I wondered if the start of the new football season might break my resolve, but so far I've managed to resist any temptation. I'm hoping now the first weekend is done, the urges will reduce. I've even avoided the wagers I would normally do with my mates. I've almost become addicted to keeping clean now if that makes sense. I would be heartbroken to have to go back to day 0 after coming so far.

Thanks for your post Loxxie, it's lovely to hear from you, as always.

Take care all and heres to a gamble free summer

Hey Lego
Hope you've had a great gamble free summer....
New term soon love...good luck...stay safe x

Hi Loxxie, yes still all good here. Going on holiday in a couple of weeks before uni starts back! Crazy what you can afford when you stop gambling. I hope you're well! lovely to hear from you, as always xx

I'm good thanks love...enjoy your holibob...youve earnt it ..then back to uni a strong gamble free young man. ...focused on his future....and i totally agree. ...it's great to have some spending money in life now...take care love..x

168 days gamble free and I feel the happiest I can remember in my adult life. I had a little niggle today when I saw some enhanced odds on England to beat Malta, but avoided the urge and decided to write a post instead. Just shows that I'm going to have to keep my guard up long into the future.

In general life is like a dream compared to how it was 168 days ago. I feel so priviliged to be at Med school now, working towards my dream career, but I also know that a single slip up could ruin all that. We are constantly reminded that our behaviour is under lots of scrutiny, including our financial conduct. If i miss a rent or a tuition fee payment, it's game over, so I'm determined to keep my recovery going.

Over the summer I had a good amount of money coming in from my reasonably well paid summer job, but now that pool of cash is quickly drying up and I need to learn to live with that, rather than thinking I can use gambling to supplement my income, as I know I can't do that. Even when I used to win, it would all be gone the next day. I don't have much time to work here, the medicine course is monday-friday 9-6, but I'm hoping to find a flexible little earner that I can do at the weekends, just so I can keep enjoying myself. I remember it was when I was poorest and had no money to enjoy life that I used to gamble the most, which I know sounds stupid. They are constantly in need of staff in the hospitals etc though, so hoping I can pick something up there.

I hope all reading this are having a great weekend and if you've just stumbled across Gamcare at a time of crisis, please read back through my diary and you'll see that you can turn your life around. 6 months is nothing. My next target is a year and I hope with the help of the forum I will get there!

Thanks for the inspirational post.
To say you feel the happiest you have ever felt in your adult life is a massive statement and I'm really pleased for you.
As you stated, it sometimes does you good to remember the emotional turmoil felt when we first come onto this site. It reminds us that we never want to feel that desperate again.
All newbies take note. With the use of barriers, commitment and the self belief that you want to stop gambling, you too can feel genuine happiness again x

Lovely post to read Lego. ..
How very different to the first time we spoke......so chuffed for you young man...
I understand what your saying about worrying about urges returning when we're skint...its a dangerous time love...just keeping remembering that you'd be even skinter if you gambled...and defo not the happy chap you are today. ..you get your head into those books my love.....maybe you'll specialise in plastics. ...I could do with a few nip and tucks ! lol
Take care love...you've got a wonderfull life ahead of you....make the right choices x

What a positive diary to read, keep the good work up xx

Hi Little miss lost,

I absolutely agree with you. When I first started my diary I fely weak, drained and completely helpless. I remember a counsellor telling me that whether we are 6 months gamble free, 6 years or 6 days, the one of who has been sober the longest is the one who got up earliest. This is a journey we take one day at a time and I know that one slip up and I could be back to square one. That's why I keep doing my diary - not to gloat, but to help myself remember the worst times and to hopefully help other people get to 6 months clean and beyond.

Thanks for your comment, I hope you had a good weekend x

Hey young man...hope all's good with you...not seen you about for a while. ...hoping it's because your enjoying that job of yours...
One year just around the corner ?