Strange twists of fate during gambling episodes

Hi it reads to me like @absentee was referring to @jackjones's post where he said he'd lost in an epic way. But we would agree your writing is epic, and thank you for posting in support of jack here and sharing your experience.

@jackjones, sorry to read about your relapse. It's good that you have posted about it. What do you think you need to do next? Do you feel like giving us a call to talk over some options for helping you stop? We're on 0808 8020 133 if you do. We're open 24 hours on the freephone and our livechat. Mainly, keep posting and updating us on how you're doing. As you see there is a wealth of experience here on the forum and people are here supporting you.

Best wishes

Deirdre
Forum Admin

Thanks guys for reading. Thanks Gamcare for support 

My body clamps up when I lose. But hey, I am a winner. Because I'm smart enough to realise money isn't real and losing it all opens doors of opportunities. You can pull yourself together and realise it's a dream, an illusion.

The day I lost I saw 6 magpies in a row, this was a superstition I have... However, I really knew that I was due to lose my money after winning for such  a long time. 

I believe in so many things that you guys probably wouldn't comprehend. The bottom line is the Negatives we all go through are signs, probably angels or something... The fine Art of life and nature itself that we are connected to, Gambling exposes us the the rawness of nature..... Without the huge rock bottoms I probably would be completely stuck in a perpetual cylce of misery.... It's  how quickly we can bounce back from catastrophe that  displays our boldness and  integrity. I am dignified completely in these challenging times.

I am thankful to gambling in spinning me around and stirring up so much trouble in my life that I am  now almost  completely fixated on the wonderful changes ahead of me...Those magpies were real angels telling me that Losing IS winning after all!!! 

What I know to be true is that gambling is s******g with my mental health. My nervous system is very jumpy and there is a knot in my stomach. When it gets to this stage it's time to call it a day. It's withdrawal, but my mind is definitely not wanting a gamble at all...I hope my subconscious has finally re programmed itself to avoid stupid s**t ..

Sware down, I am done with GAMBLING!!! It's got me into; spiraling debt, crappy mental and physical health. 

I am determined now to pay off the debts because I realise it's only money. 

How can a bit of fun lead to greed, imapatience and desperation?

To be honest I just need a bit more education.

The way things are with the system and the failing companies. I believe  everything they are doing needs to stop too...

Technology is ridiculously sophisticated these days  and  people are bombarded with way too much information. Hence, we feel we are not enough.

Just a reminder; I am the Universe experiencing life, love and  the wonders of the World.

The Universe has already given me life and that's all I need. Everything else is just material. 

Remember; There cannot be any joy without hardship....

No, I don't want MONEY... Why? Because I am already Rich...For I am the Universe and it already knows what I need...I already have.

Unfortunately; the rich are trapped, driven by greed and preying on the vulnerable....Yet still gamblers want that lifestyle.... Wow!! What a mess....

Thanks for posts 

100%, the gambling loss put a knot in my stomach and bought back muscle tension. This ain't no joke anymore, in fact it destroys health....

There is some sort of witchcraft about gambling because I have read the books and it all says the same thing and it happened to me too...

...You start off after a break by usually winning because the law of averages is in your favour...But even worse, there may be something more sinister going on...

. For instance, the system is designed to lure you in, the system allows you to believe you are going to get that big win...Perhaps you do!  And then....You know what happens next they  get it all back with more....It's the same as borrowing money....They will give it if they believe they can make a profit...

...Bottom line is, when you win you ain't taking nothing because money isn't mine or yours, it's the systems and we  all a victim of it....

I'm going to be frank about this.

For me posting on other's thread seems a bit odd, for the reason that, I am not the right person to support other's when I am in the same predicament.

On the other hand, if someone cares to read this and is going through; anxiety, depression and other mental health issues; then all I can do is try to put my thoughts down here with the hope it reaches somebody that is struggling.

Okay, my gambling has manifested as a real illness. When I gamble I feel horrid. When I lose I feel even worse.

I have realised there is a way to lift myself out of spiralling thoughts,  muscle tension, gut issues and a whole host of other stuff. When I got really bad I would clamp up and freeze...This is what pretty graphics, little leprechauns and promises of £500  winnings actually  bring to the table 

Back to recovery; what I found is deep breathing really works.....Namely holotropic breathing. A diet with around 90 percent whole natural foods and plenty of water. Plenty of sleep and AVOID b******t at ALL costs!!

Another thing  that works for me is post it Notes. Placing one with your name directly in front of you when you wake up. That is you, the person, body and flesh.

Then all the worry that pops into your head place post it notes to the left as they all pop up in your head. You will end up with all those negative thoughts to the left and then the YOU note directly in front.

Very simply you come to realise that all the trauma, all the drama and disgust about your wretched 'self' is just thoughts that have gotten out of control and all you need to do is move forward without them.

I am not saying forget about the mess  just let your BRAIN realise that....A thought is just that, however,  it can manifest if we do not organize them and realise .....That it is  just a story!!!

It takes practice, 8n fact it's taken me years to get to this point where I can bring myself out of terrible circumstances....

The problem is I still have to be mindful of the day I have recovered completely because my brain always tries to make itself comfy and sees those lovely graphics as friendly and welcoming oneself back into 'HELL'... 

I thought it was only me until I read the last post.

But now I realise the end of the road in the Cg World,  is a crippling disease of misery, debt and sadly poor health....

My own mind says, when I was winning everyone was my friend and life was easy. When it all went wrong those people turn. Is that my paranoid mind? The mind of a pathological gambling addict?

You know when it becomes serious when it finally makes you sick no matter whether you win or lose, but you still  want to be in it.

The aftermath of losing and crawling back for help  is you try to make amends and find a way to  live with your wretched self and again the brain seems to make excuses; sorts out whatever horrid mess we are in and logically reorganises itself and actually makes sense of it  so it can make us 'comfortable' once again...

After some time it slowly hides the fact that Gambling ever did anything wrong and maybe....just maybe you'll play again....Albeit, Knowing that it's a game, that is designed to make you lose. But still, the mind is constantly trying to make you feel good, remember,  because it has a habit of doing that .. 

I used to laugh at my Dog when I was a kid watching it chase it's tail and even biting itself sometimes....I wonder if that's nature's way of showing that we all go around Circles?

....Time to break the pattern

Hi Jackjones,

"WHEN I WAS WINNING EVERYONE WAS MY FRIEND". That's the thing in a CGs world, when you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. But when you cry Jack wipe the tears away & look behind you there's no-one there. Is this pathological addiction really your friend ?. 

Best Wishes

AL

Well here I am, back to square 1.

I kept gambling at bay for several months but something snapped recently and the twig fell from the branch.

I can shrug this of, pick myself up and move forward again; without the need to seek help because I am strong and this doesnt matter, after all its only money, isnt it?

Truth is it dors matter, in fact as much as I cover it up in oregami it wont be pretty at all...

Once the money has disappeared into the abyss, it isnt going ti magically appear back. Just like star trek when they say, 'beam me uo Scotty' thing is, if the cash does materialise itonly comes back in dribs and drabs...

I have bren following my Horoscope recently and it states I am due to come into a lot of money, unfortunately I lost a hefty chunk of money today and wonder whether my horoscope has predicted my fortune with suvh accuracy? For the reason that, this is the turning point of good things to come... Abstaining from gambling is the one thing that will make a poor man rich...

Day 1 starts tomoz.

Btw, no need advice about vlocks in place because I already sorted that part out...

I need to get my thoughts downn9n paper to get this mighty cash ball rolling. 

I won a considerable amount today and couldve jusy walked away. However, I lady was frantically pounding away at 2 slots machines at once and obviously walked away losing. 

Greed, temptation and cunning had me in its grip.  I noticed that she had left £1, in one of the slots. The steward tried to run after her to no avail.

I had already sat down and started to play. Several hours passed and had squanderes at least 3 months eages and all my earlier winnings into the machine. The odd thing is the other machine she was playing saw several players come and go, every single on of them had won! I was livid.

The math says that although they all won, I wouldnt have becausr apparently an RNG (random number generator) pays to everyone differently? How? Well its to do with timing. Lets say you have 2 indentical machine with exactly the same RNG, it would be impossible for 2 seprate players to get the same pattern of reels displayed because the RNG is totally dependant upon the timing calculation of the RNG. 

This knowledge is important and a blessing to someone that has experienced this. Therefore, the result is , No! I eould not have won on the adjacent machine because I cannot possibly press the button at the specifc time unless I was literally the person playing it? Very difficult to get my head around... Although, the information is an accurate blessing to know...

Fast forward to the now, I dont want to be a part of a silly statistic anymore because from the forementioned it has succumbed to myself that the person who went up to the machine several times and won is actually me, and the the person eho loat today is also myself... What I am getting at is that no matter what the situation is with regards to timing... If you play long enough a ln individual result is EXACTLY, EXACTLY, the SAME outcome! BAR the very long and complex algorithym. 

It makes me want to believe its all a lir and when a player loses a bunch you win a bunch. When in reality and looking past the illusion it creates, EVERY single player is a cixtim to Exactly the same losses and wins in the long run. Its very accurate and fair considering EVERYBODY is being screwed over if you are willing to bet, that is?.. 

Well here I am again, 

I had a bunch of scratchcards that I foolishly bought yesterday; I had to cash the wimners in today. I found out they were not even activated. I guess it was part of the shopkeepers sinister plan to lure me into a trap, but that is a different story.

Anyways, it was a twist of fate because I ran 2 mikes to the shop and made sure I got my money. The arcade that I lost in was right next to it. So, with my cash in wallet I walked into the Arcade.

The Manager was polite and made me a Coffee. I told her I wanted a ban. She agrred and took my details. As I waited I saw an old lady go to and thro to the. Machine that I lost several ***** on yesterday. I even told her my story. It never deterred her at all, in fact I fed her into her own addiction as she ploughed wad after wad of cash into the Slot. 

I pondered over the situation and realised that was me when I am in the midst of it all. I said to myself, ' those machimes even rob old Grannies'. It made me chuckle at the way I thought about it... Then my own shame and anxiety took over me and I felt sorry about the fact the machines trap any person who places a bet on them... And I mean anyone! 

@jackjones hi mate am actually new here this is the first time i have had the courage to respond although i have been reading many forums on here. I have been addicted to gambling since 2006 at the beginning i didn't have much of an issue as i was only addicted to fruit machines since i places my first football bet was the worst thing i could have ever done that was the day i entered bookmaker i placed a football bet, i saw the machines which i assumed weee fruit machines and i put £10 into the machines i started playing i lost £5 pounds and a chap behind me to play roulette i had no idea what the game was if i had lost the bet and never won from the machine things maybe have been diff from the last £5 the chap doing the numbers got its to £28.80 i was actually going to take the money out as i was use to playing bandits as that was a jackpot for me but he insisted i carry on he did £8.80 bet and i was going to leave with £20 and it had won anyway i let him bet and before i knew it the balance went up i had no clue and he said collect it and give me £20, from then on i started playing and was losing my wages the addiction cost me close to 100k and ruined my life in every possible way i do believe their some kind of evil intent behind it all which grips the thought process changes and winning or lossing stops bringing you joy since 2018 ive managed to break out of it am not as bad as i use to be but the addiction is still their i have booked myself into Ga and hopefully i will have accept it will be with me for the rest of my life.

The good news is I managed to stop for 9 months. But recently went back to the slots. My stars kept saying Im going to receive money.. However, the opoosite has hapoened. Noe my stars are predicting trouble etc... Isnt the internet just a lure, jist like tv adverts of gambling. When will it all become apparent that Gamblers do not have a problem with gambling. In fact Gambling is a problem itself. 

I believe that I am going through considerably miserable times.  Nothing too major but small problems seem huge after a big loss. Things are getting to me. People are feeding back lots of negstive energy lately. Is it a pattern? I believe it is...

Lately I am able to control and feel strong emotions. This is definitely a great achievement for myself seeing as I have been riddled with pure anxiety for some years.

All ai need to do now is rebuild my life without gambling yet again.. It is tiring and so many obstscles to overcome. Yet again I will start over...