"TALES FROM THE OTHER SIDE"

Just thought i would drop in and say hellllooooooooo i read your baby is 21 ... how time flys eh ........

have much fun

with luv

Kim xx

Hi Jac,

Thanks for the post on my diary, you really put things in perspective for me.

For what it's worth I think that you and Jim are an inspiration.

Thanks for taking me back to basics.

Stay Strong

Steve

You stood by me even though I let you down time and time again. You gave me strength to tackle this addiction and to reclaim my life.

Now It is my turn to help you find the strength to find a way to live your life to the full.

I cant take away the constant pain you are in, but I will always be here for you to lean on when it gets too much...just like you were there for me when i needed someone to lean on.

I will do everything that you cant do anymore and I will do it willingly.

You are my world and my life, without you I would be nothing.

I believe we were drawn together to help each other, you helped me through my darkest years, now you can lean on me.

I will be your rock just as you were mine (and still are).

Together we will continue to face all that life has to throw at us and together we will get through it because together we are unbeatable.

I love you with all my heart and always shall. xxxx

Jim (last bet 22/04/06)

Hi Jackie, thanks for the post!

What a lovely post from Jim, got me sobbing. God, you two deserve all the happiness life throws at you.

My sons still asleep just wanna hug them, wished my parents believed me, never got the chance to realy show them i had! Last night must have cried for hours, throat hurts. Not long been of the anti ds and dont wanna go back on them, bereavement counselling was mentioned to me last night on the netline but cant handle that!

My family have pure hatred for me, wanna inflict as much pain on me as they can....But they say to realy hate someone then at some point they must have loved me. Never got to say how much i loved my mum, never showed it or did she. Gonna have to tell my boys, they gonna be heartbroken!

As my brother put it, they not wanting me anywhere near them, infact my brother said he hopes i die a very painful death and my sons are no longer his nephew and there grandad does not exsist.

Sorry for this...feel so sad, lifes hard im gonna have day of work and try and give my boys a good day!

only if i never gambled for all those years, i certainly wont return to my old ways!

take care and thanks again. andrew x

Hi Jac

Just wanted to pop in and say thank you for my hugs. They were needed.

I wish I could take your pain away as you are reducing a lot of pain for people here.

Love and Hugs

Sabine x

Hi Jackie

Thanks for taking the time and posting on my diary, have a lot of respect for you and Jim and would like to apoligise for my earlier posting...Sorry for opening up like that, realy dont want to depress you!

I too would like to echo Charly's post, you and Jim offer so much and wished i could do something with substance to help you both.

Have 2 weeks of work now, boss was realy nice got me sobbing down the phone....Just wished i could turn the clock back, been on the cruse website and going to contact them in a few days at the Greenwich offices.

Boys swimming with their friends, they now know and it was so sad, we had a group hug, tears and snotty noses. They out til 5pm and i am not going to gamble in any form whatsoever!

Jackie thankyou for your support/kindness, you have no idea how grateful i am.... Need some friends right now!

If you want my postings deleting please let me know. thanks again, ands xx

Hi Jackie

Sorry to ask, what was your coping mechanisim when your mum passed away?? sorry to ask and hope you dont mind me asking. Just wandered as you seem to be so strong and with all the s**t you have gone thru i just dont know how you do it!

There are several on here who i have a lot of respect for and obviously you and Jim are top of the list.

Thankyou so much for all your support, so grateful. ands x

Hi Jaqckie,

Been looking through the section and noticed your reply to Ands, spot on as usual with the description of how you felt,I can relate a lot to when I lost my Mum.

Sorry you have had a painful week,strangely I had a bad week too 🙁 I am already thinking how can I get through a day at work tomorrow!!!

As my lovely hubby says, am trying to live in the moment,there's no point in trying to tackle tomorrow as its in the future just as yeaterday cannot be changed because its already gone.

Simple words but hard to stick to sometimes. I will cope with tomorrow as it comes and not turn it into a monster that will spoil today!!!

On reflection I begininning to realise just how much youth is wasted on the young lol

Pain isn't as bad today,hope we both get abetter week.

Take care

love

W xxxx

Sorry to read elsewhwere that you have been unwell Jackie,i'm pleased that your feeling better now :).

Seano.

Hi Jackie

Sorry to read you have been unwell, glad you are feeling better now.

Thanks Jackie for the post on my diary, realy felt that one, still sobbing now. Thanks for sharing that with me and please waffle as much as you want on my diary, infact i would love you too!

Dont know what else to say today... So i say another huge thankyou for your support and kindness.....And hope you and Jim have all the happiness life can throw at you, cos you two deserve it on a huge scale, you 2 are great.....ands xx

Jackie,

Just a quick posting on your diary to say that I read the first few pages of your diary again. Every time I read it, it helps me on my recovery mission.

I know that you wrote it for yourself as part dealing with your journey. I for one am delighted that you put so much effort into your postings. They should publish your story in a little booklet and distribute in GA/Gamanon meetings worldwide.

I hope this message finds you good today.

Brian

Hi Jackie, thank you for your post. I showed it to my wife and it seemed to change her view on things. She really softened up. Maybe it won't take as long as I thought. As you say, I just need to keep doing the things I'm doing. Your input on these pages is invaluable as you are able to provide an insight to the 'other side'. Thanks again Russ.

Hi Jackie

Just wanted to pop in and say hi, hope you and jim are well.

Im getting it together now, thanks for the support you have given me.

ands xx

Hi Jackie,

Thankyou for your encouraging words on my diary. Really cheered me up this morning.

I have not posted on yours before although I had read some of your diary.

Just spent this morning reading through all of it. The sharing of your story, your thoughts and feelings and what you have learned about this addiction is inspirational. Should you ever publish a book, it would be one that all people affected by gambling should read! I would certainly buy it!!

Again, thankyou for taking the time to post. Much appreciated - it's always nice to see a message when I log on.

Hope you and your family are well.

take care,

love, Lili xx

Jackie,

Thanks again for the message on my diary.

I thought I'd write a note to you about my wife and to give you an insight as to where she is.

My wife Linda, has created an alias on these boards as "LK" but has not posted yet. It is to allow a better searching for posts and peoples diaries etc.. Linda is doing well. That comes on two levels;

The first, and most important is her ability to deal with herself and her feelings. She has some history in 'working' on herself through her father in ALANON (before I met her). Going to GAMANON has therefore thrown up all sorts of things in the past for her. This could have gone so many different ways but thankfully she went to ALANON in the past as it means that her thought process is logical and helps her to deal with the present circumstances. There have been some tough personal times for her e.g. she met an old acquaintance from Alanon when going to Gamanon... she told me that she found this tough. I can only imagine. Your early posts on my diary were of tremendous help for her, particularly in terms of the insight and experience which they gave. I/we also appreciate your well wishing towards her whenever you post.

The second level is that Linda can see that I am doing everything I can to recover. Putting finances properly in her name, writing my diary, going to GA and most importantly talking to her. The recovery diary works well for us (I believe) because it provides us with a means of giving regular communication and insight without the need to talk about it all the time. With so much stuff going on in daily routines, I think neither of us want to talk about gambling recovery all the time. Linda can see a difference in me over the past 3 months. I truly hope that that continues and perhaps in the future, we can put this fully behind us. No lapses is really important for this recovery. If I had one, it would undermine things massively and create all sorts of new trust demons. That is the strongest block of all for me. The longer I go, the more the dust settles, the lower the debt goes, and the more goes into the joint savings account.

Another thing on my mind is that as these diaries have progressed over the past months, people leave all the time, some come back. You have been extremely unselfish by sharing your support and advice for a long time. This takes a special kind of person to do this.

I hope all is well with you and Jim. I understand you are going through a tricky time healthwise although I do not know the detail which is personal to the both of you. I wish you the best of strength and health and look forward to your continued success together.

Best of luck from Brian and Linda.