"TALES FROM THE OTHER SIDE"

Hi Jac, thank you for your support. Without this forum I would have gone, walked away, and not looked back at the mess. You've been there, you know where I'm coming from. It's not always that easy, there is the bigger picture. I'm trying to see MY journey as an adventure, don't know where I'll be in a years time, doesn't matter, so long as I'm at peace within myself. I have my first session of counselling today, looking forward to it. A real opportunity to 'dump' instead of 'soak' like a sponge! Take care. Love Ostrich x

God grant me the serenity

and wisdom to know the difference

I really like this prayer although I do not follow any particular religion. I have had to draw on its words and meanings a lot especially over the last 6mths or so. My change of health over the last 18 mths has affected everything in my life, everything I do or try to do and for everyone that is close to me. I hate it, I hate the fact that I have no control over its effect on my body. Its been a hard time. I can be very stubborn and I've had some very, very dark days fighting with it and myself.

Lately I feel different. I am not sure if it is a time thing, the fantastic never ending support and love that Jim has given me or what but I do feel as if acceptance is coming.

It has taken so long for me to feel this way because I just couldn't & wouldn't let go of my... old life, my old self and the way of living that I was use to. Losing my job because I can no longer manage is a massive task to deal with, not to mention the financial loss of a full time wage. It was a job that I was lucky enough to of loved and was a big part of me.

It is time for me to re-Invent myself. I am not sure what the future will bring or what my part in it will be yet, its scary but also quite exciting. I am seeing things from a different view now, some for the first time.

What I do know is today, right now, I'm OK and thats all that matters.

The serenity prayer expresses the truth that life can be a struggle. That we have the ability to accept things we may not like. That courage and wisdom are qualities that build our character. That if you take a day at a time, you can deal with the reality of facing all of life's challenges... whatever they may be.

Hi Jac,

Thank you for your thoughts in my diary.

Yes, the serenity prayer.. powerful words, wise words. We were talking about it at GA just the other day.. some people didn't like the "God" bit.. so we agreed to change it to Bob.. just for the day. Bob is now going to grant everyone serenity.. good old Bob! lol 🙂

I hear what you say about your health and adapting to change. I guess in reality we are all going through constant change whether we like it or not. Reality must be faced and embraced... and it seems as if you are doing just that 🙂

Ive also read your first post.. where you told the Addiction poem.. Again very powerful words.. addiction, gambling addiction, my gambling addiction.. always there lurking in the shadows waiting for its oppurtunity to pounce. Promising much but delivering only financial drain and personal misery.

I find I constantly need to re-invent and re-invigorate my recovery each and every day.. when i stop doing this i have started my journey back to gambling. re-invent and re-invigorate i will!

I wish you well with the on-going challenges that life is throwing your way. I am saying much the same to myself. All the best.. S.A

Hi Jac

I hope all is well with you and your husband. I have posted a question in OPG and would welcome your opinion, if you have a minute. As someone who's been there, done that, I would really like to hear your advice.

Many thanks.

Sue

Hi Jac

Hope you and Jim are doing okay, must have a breath of spring in the air down on the south coast by now?

Have actually posted on my diary for the firat time in ages.

Just wanted you to know I have heard from our pink and sparkly friend too after I emailed her. Seems she won't be ale to post like Anna said ecause of her job.

She did a mimi rehab went she first went to Spain, self excluded and had no interent connection. from what she said the alcohol was an issue she wanted to tackle and seems to have got a grip on that and is also still gamble free. All is going great for them all now hubby and little Lucy are over ther with her , she sounds truly happy.

Hope your health is under control, know how you feel when something like this makes you realise how personally our abilities can change without warning, in a similar postion myself and some days its difficult to come to terms with-and thats putting it mildly.

Thanks again for all your support int he good times as well as the bad.

Take care

Love

Wxxx

Hello diary....

A friend who is in recovery & no longer has the desire to gamble, was reflecting on her past gambling this morning on her blog,...

"Actually...I find it difficult to believe that I fit gambling into my schedule.

everything else suffered."

Just felt the need to pop it in my diary as it is soooo true.

Life with gambling in.... is not living, its just living to gamble

Life itself, gets lost, smothered by the need to gamble. Nothing else really matters.

I wish it was possible to 'fast forward' to show those who are still suffering with a gambling addiction & its knock on effects, or even those in the early days of stopping that they really can have a future.

A future full of 'choices'. Situations and outlooks can really change, if the desire is strong enough. You really do have the power within you to make the choice to stop.

Ok - I will admit I have always deliberately avoided reading your diary, I guess I imagined that it would be uncompromising and therefore uncomfortable. It's difficult to write at the moment because I am in tears, your words are of course uncompromising but with so much more as well - somehow you have captured it all, every aspect of this insideous addiction, every aspect of who I am.

I've seen you write in other posts about having a 'choice' and I've wanted to scream at you...'you don't understand - you simply don't understand'. I humbly apologise for those thoughts.

Your words - this diary (and the responses) should be required reading not only for anyone with a gambling problem and their family/friends but for those who work/volunteer as counsellors.

I wish you well Jim and Jac...

Thank you

James26

jac- great last post

cashed

Jac

Just a big thankyou for what you put on Iain's post, its these harsh words he needs to hear. I have run out of sympathy, empathy, support, it now comes down to the reality of life, and can he kick it.

Iain too is glad to said what youdid, and more people should say these things.

Lets hope its not too late.

Make or break weekend for us. No guarantees for the future.

But thank you, and I would love to chat with you properly.

Hope your health is doing ok

debs xx

Bumping this diary up to the top

Luv ya Jac

This diary should be read by all cg's to give you an idea of what cgs do to their partners/family. But also to show every cg that it is possible to arrest this addiction and heal.

I know you won't mind Jac.

Love and Hugs to you and Gull

God BLess

Charly

ditto xxxx

Hi jac

Hope u are both doing well and enjoying our beautiful summer lol

I just wanted to bump up your diary as a help for some of the newbies.

Take care

love

W xxx

Bumping this up for some new posts in supporting.

W x

Hi & thanks for dragging up my diary from the depths for an airing!

Its wonderful to read from the diaries, of the hope and of the changed/changing lives that people now have, since they turned their backs on gambling.

To 'see' people move forward & grow in so many ways is what it is all about. Well done to you all, who choose recovery, who chose to start REALLY living your lives... instead of continuing the self destructive & fantasy world of the past.

To those still wanting to stop, wanting the pain, lies & stress to stop... never stop trying to give up.

It IS achievable, it IS possible... You ARE worth more and you certainly deserve more.

Take it one day at a time... we can all manage to do something for one day... break that day down into smaller sections if a whole day seems too much in the beginning. Read what works for others. If you have the desire(and something brought you to this site) and with real effort & commitment it can work for you. 😉

Jim & I are planning to get into chat either thurs/fri pm, so maybe see you around for a catch up if you are about ?

Stay strong

Jackie xx

Hello to all who read!

I believe that total honesty is what it is all about and is an essential part of learning to understand & arrest ones addiction.

The Lies & deception of the life you were living is how most people found themselves to be here in the first place, reading or being an active part of this site... Well isn't it?

I have been here for many years. Read many diaries & posts. All have a similar theme, although at the same time individual to that particular person/family/friend etc.

I have noticed that although as always, 'friendships/acquaintances' are made here through the common enemy of gambling. Which is great & can be invaluable as a support network for dealing with your own gambling problem. But sometimes, it appears to me, as if people all to quickly forget what really brought them to this site & act like they are on face-book or something. Don't get me wrong... I love a laugh... & have had many here with others BUT I NEVER FORGET WHY I ORIGINALLY CAME HERE, OR THE REASON WHY I STILL COME HERE.

Of course we include all sorts in our diaries... after all they are for us, our thoughts, feelings & actions BUT they should surely be ultimately to do with gambling. About how we are dealing with, our problem, what works or doesn't work for you, your difficulties maybe with discovering what you & life is really like now your gambling 'crutch' is no longer there. Learning how at first in the early days how hard & difficult it can be... Then going on to discover that you weren't actually living when in 'action'.... believe me, the harder you work your recovery the more you will get out of your Life... Jim & I know the journey and its SO worth the hard work. It leads to real happiness in oneself and our lives. This is not just another 'chat site'. Make it work for you!

If anyone hasn't already done so, I would suggest taking a good look at SA's or Charlys diaries (hope you don't mind me suggesting yours SA/Charly) for example. Fantastic diaries showing the ups & downs of the journey of learning to being in control of yourself and your lives again... Without the need to have gambling in it.

It is so important to remember that there is NO QUICK FIX, for those who think that a 'couple of weeks or months' will sort your problems are only kidding yourselves... that is a prime example of the addiction using you...fooling you... Just because you are feeling 'a bit better' now, than when you first arrived here at Gamcare.

(There are many more good diaries out there but those above just came to mind.)

So sorry to of rambled on, going back to 'ands' opening post... Honesty is everything and for those that are not being truthful you are only fooling yourselves in the end... its only YOU that you are really continuing to hurt. Wake up!

Life is for living

Don't let gambling... Or You

Hold you back 🙂

Jackie x