"TALES FROM THE OTHER SIDE"

Hi Jac

Well said, the same thoughts have been in my mind on and off in recent monthe even tho I havent posted much until today.

As one whose opinion means a lot to me I have to say you are right.

Focus on long term recovery is or should be our long term aim and its hard work at that.

I face problems now which are not gambling related BUt if I hadnt gambled in the past my current ptoblem would not be such a big issue.

A tough way to learn yet anther lesson and that our behaviuor as CG's comes back to bite us on the b*m!!!

Take care

love to you and JIm

W xxx

Love ya Jac

Thanks for that last post of yours. It spoke straight from my heart.

Recovery is selfish and one must really look deep inside and must be prepared to see the horrible person one is whilst gambling and then make changes from within to become a better person. It just won't do to "just stop gambling" And it takes a lifetime to make these changes, they do not happen overnight.

Love and Hugs to you and Jim.

God Bless

Charly xx

Hi Jac,

Thanks so much for your post, it truly means a lot. I have read yours and Jim's diary from cover to cover(Have had a lot of time on my hands recently) and have nothing but admiration for you both. I have some measure of understanding of what Jim's gambling made him become and I have nothing but respect for both of you in how you dealt with it all.

It's nice to feel more positive at last, just found out i've got an interview on wednesday afternoon. (No suit to wear and no means of getting there at the moment). With all that I've put myself through in the last few months, going to an interview suddenly doesn't feel quite so daunting anymore.

Thanks for your support and I hope life continues to go well for you both,

DT.

Jac,

Thank you for your comments and your contributions. Great posts.

Jac,

It was nice to get your support on my diary the other day and having never really conversed with you before i decided to have a look at yours. I must say i was captivated. You give such an insightful view of what life is like with a CG and everything you have written is so articulate and well communicated. I couldn't stop until i had read the entire diary. You are a brave woman and a strong one. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing all your pains.

It has really made me remember why we stop in the first place.

Kind wishes

Eyes X

Morning Jac,

Firstly I hope you and Jim are well. Many thanks for your support today. I wasn't sure about the post I made this morning as i thought it may come across wrongly as "I'm beating this and I know best". That truly was not my intention. The idea was to try and help fellow strugglers on their journey by relating it to what has worked for me. it was good to hear that you read it in the way it was intended.

Once again thanks for your support,

DT.

Hi Jac,

It was nice to meet you in the chat yesterday albeit briefly. After the chat I read through your diary and its an incredible story and very well articulated. Hope you are feeling well and keep up the good work. Thanks for your advice!

Hi Jac

Thank you for the post on my diary and spending the time reading it, not the best diary lol! I started deleting my posts after my one and only slip up which now is nearly 2 months ago, felt so very ashamed.

I being honest have not read your diary but i will!

Hope Jim is ok and the amount of time he has gone gamble free is impressive to say the least....and shows us all what we can acheive, life is far better without the lying, stealing and gambling, i will win my battle!!

thanks again Jac, take care, ands

Thanks for all your support Jac,

you are a solid gold nugget! Jim is a lucky fella.

In answer to your question - yeah, I probably am still having moments where i try to 'buy' a dream life. As you point out though, my real life isnt too shabby itself.

I got the lollipop lady job, so things are starting to turn around. Im feeling much better in general, and thanks again your kind words gave my heart a cuddle when it was poorly 🙂

f x

hiya jac

ive just read through your diary i dont no were you found the strength to pull togeather with your husband but well done to you, like most people have already said you are an insperration (sorry cant spell)

like you did i live with a cg thats been going on for (prob) all our married life. been married 14 years have two children.

i cant be as understanding and as helpfull as you have been to jim.

dont get me wrong i have been there for him many times only to be smacked in the face with it again and again.

i have found over the years that he has never really been here for us even wen my dad was dying of cancer i got no support. my father died 21 december 2002 so you can imagine the xmas we had i never felt that he was emotional there for me but he would paint a different story.he was good at arrange things and paying for everything cos thats what he thinks he,s good at.(being father xmas) all year round.

he is very genarous with his money but i have only just relised its all to do with gambling.

he will treat his family my family any one but then i am the one who suffers wen its time to do the weekly shop he will say stuff like let me no wen you are going so i can make sure that there is money in the bank . what a fool ive been or mabe i was just bury my head and hoping it would all turn out alright.

this time i feel differrant i feel i cant be here for him and i want him to leave us so we can just get on with our lives. i no that may sound hard but i have clearly had enough.

four years ago we lived in a nice four bedroomed house that we had to sell to get him out of trouble yet again.

we did get a three bedroomed house which is nice but it was ment to be a new start.

as you can see it never worked.he also has had good jobs in the city with good wages and me or the children have never wanted for anything but we suffer with his mood swings. he has always managed to convince me everything is and will be alright.

to cut a long story short two months ago he went into his boss to ask for money and there gave it to him and would take it out of his wages.i no what you are thinking why didnt i say something to him then? i think he has feed and told me so much s**t over the years that i dont seem to listen to him or even care.then a month ago we sold both our cars cos he said it would be cheaper to get them on hp for three years . alarm bells sould be ringing and there were.

i was asking were is all the money going and got the same answer as before bills credit cards xmas presents. i no i sound like a rite idiot and mug and that is how i feel.

i also have to see friends family who must look at me and think what a mug to keep putting up with it.

so last week he said he was gong to see his boss for some more money well the boss didnt give him what he wanted and then i look at the bank statement that i dont normaly see and just in one month alone he has give the bookies ten thousand pounds and that is only what i no.

so maybe you can understand why i cant and wont help him anmore.

i really did,nt mean to write all this but i do feel a bit better. the other thing is i cant really go anywere as all my family live up north and iam in the south and i dont see why me and my children should move out

i feel like he has drained the life out of me and he can be very abbusive.

mandy

Hi Jac

Thanks for posting on my diary and thankyou for your kind words, hope you and Jim are ok...

My new chapter in my life is about to begin and for the first time in years im looking forward to it! Been a realy hard 5 months for me, ups and downs and some realy desperate depressing days.......But that is now fading away into the past where it is gonna stay, my life is improving and the thoughts of gambling just make me feel physically and emotionally sick! This forum and the great people on here have been a godsend for me and i am so very grateful...

Thanks again and take care, ands

Hiya Jac,

Thank you for your lovely supportive message. Just came at a time I needed it. xx

Didn't realise that you were Jims partner....it was only a few days ago I contacted him because of a great post I read on his diary which is always good to hear. Spurs me on. I hope you both are having a lovely weekend.

Best Wishes

Del x

hey jac, cashed here just wishing you and jim happy holidays

cashed

Hi Jac

Thanks for reminding me why I am doing what I am doing. My recovery, my choices. Sometimes I need a kick to get me back on my "happy path".

I miss you too and as you can see I am reading at least.

I am dis-illusioned about a lot of things at the moment, have not really got direction, purpose or routine in my life.

Let me try and find them and then I think I will be back to posting. I know I should really try and write all my head chaos down...and if it would make any sense at all I'm sure I would. Hopefully I will be able to soon...

Lots of love and big Hugs to you and Jim. Have a really wonderful Christmas and a healthy 2010.

God Bless

Charly 🙂

xx

P.S - I am not gambling though and have no intentions of doing so....

Hi Jac,

Just wanted to thank you for your timely interventions in my diary over the months.. your wise words have helped. Rightly or wrongly I see you as mother hen checking us lot, an enormous brood (is that the right word?) of Cg's.. doing your bit to keep us on the right path. Thanks again and happy xmas.. S.A 🙂