The Devils Payroll

Hi Rob... good to see that you remain gamble free. I'd love to be able to play the guitar. Strum little tunes when i got nothing else better to do. Carry on annoying your neighbours lol

Ive also logged your computer prowess in my brain, so I will come and look for you when my ancient puter next does something wierd, which its sure to do at some point!! Your not allowed to start charging though lol

have a good day mate.. S.A 🙂

Quiet week at work, very quiet. Due to system upgrades and other factors the workload has dropped. Doesn't take long before people start getting worried about cutbacks and reducing numbers. I have worked most of the last 10 years as a contractor and you never feel settled as the carpet can be pulled from under your feet at anytime, so even though this current job is fulltime I still have that anxiety and fear that its going to end at a drop of a hat. I guess also that's just a sign of the times and imagine its a common fear.

At the moment I live with my parents and I have that safety net which I very grateful for but its something I am very wary of abusing. The last two years have allowed me to pay off the vast majority of my debt while living with the folks, to the point now where I can be debt free around Nov-Dec if I stay put. If I lose my job the worst that will happen at the moment is I will take longer to pay the debts off, that's a privileged position to be in indeed.

The debts I have now are manageable and now at the stage where I can re-arrange payments and take a longer time to pay things off and move out. I am starting to get the craving to start dealing with the normalities of life again in all its up's and down's, that includes possible unemployment.

I will admit that a part of me just wants to stay under shelter, stay until the end of the year and be debt free and fall back on my parents if I lose my job. At the moment that just feels wrong and very much abusing the situation and I am not sure how much good that is doing anybody.

Hi Rob... I don't think its wrong to stay to stay under your parents roof as long as your parents are ok with it but i can appreciate how you feel about it.

I think that work insecurity is a sign of our times. I use to quite like the idea of being made redundant from my current job as i was soo stressed out, but ive changed my tune recently. I'd like to leave when i am ready to leave ie when ive found another job.

Carry on dealing with the normalities of life. Thast what its all about at the end of the day. Just living a normal life without all the peaks and troughs that gambling brings... regards... S.A 🙂

Hey Rob...thanks for your rage support...lol

Just a flyer to say I can understand your dilemma...and if it works with your home life then at least it's stable but can also understand your frustration to be independant and also delaying the empty nest syndrome with your folks as they will feel a loss at your departure.. ..and I guess find another routine for the next chapter of their lives...

Bizarrely as a house owner myself the only time I can get help is if I'm unemployed...! ..this country is obsessed with home ownership unlike Europe who rent for life in good quality places and don't even consider buying until mid 50's if at all.

Anyhoo..had a ramble there....I think your doing fab and your prescence on the site is really supportive rob..great to know you didn't leave...

R and d xxx fellow rantee

Hi Rob

thanks so much for responding to my photo thread. As you will see I was successful, just had to save as Gif i think it was but otherwise dead straigh forward, just right for the geriatric user.

Sympathise with home situation, it is a difficult one. My son bought his own place with his partner a few years back and then moved home again for six months when they had a falling out. They are back together and all is ok but mortgage does put strain on their rlationship. They had a lodger for a time and my daughter house shared as well for a few years but always difficult living with others. Anyhow I am rambling when all I wanted to say was thanks and hope all goes to plan whatever you decide.

xxx

Thanks SA, Rach and re.

I am currently going spreadsheet crazy trying to work out how much each option is going to cost me far as being able to live and pay my debts off. Been mulling things over but in a practical way it makes sense to stay put at the moment. Not overly happy with myself for coming to that decision and still feel guilty for not being a bit bolder or braver.

Aside from that had a quiet weekend, no gambling and now have a week off work. Currently have the car in the garage that going to cost be a fair amount to get road worthy. All things I can now afford and don't begrudge paying now I am not gambling.

Made plans to go visit friends and also a 70th birthday party to attend so going to be even quieter than normal for a few days.

In the words of the great Nelson, "Smell you later!"

P.S For Non-Simpsons Fans that's not the seafaring fellow.

Hey Robf

Sounds like you're doing well 🙂 keep up the good work.

Stub

Hey Rob...never realised Nelsons surname was Muntz..lol....it's always a learnig curve this site...lol

Keep on keeping on Rob...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?…;feature=youtube_gdata_player

Xx

Hello Fellow Sea-mates and travellers

Been awhile but it always is with me. Nothing much to report or say. Still gamble free and life pretty steady at the moment. Feel like I am in Limbo at the moment but just trying to make the best of each day and there are moments of joy. I feel that's about as much as I ask. Reminds me of this:

"Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette b**t, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the b**t you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to f*c**ng work the next morning, THAT'S IT! End of fu**ing list!"

So true on happiness Rob....it's the space between the arrows ! ..lol

need some more music of yours on the overcoming thread.

R and d xx

Started watching casino last night and there is a great line spoken by Robert De Niro's character Ace:

" In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose, and in the end, we get it all. "

I got two credit card statements yesterday. I used to dread getting them. When I was living with my ex I would drill it into her head, "DO NOT OPEN MY MAIL!!". Those little pieces of paper that floated through the letterbox had everything in black and white, deliverer of truth and destroyer of lies.

They still deliver the truth and this time it shows the amounts slowly shrinking month by month to the point where they will evaporate. This is all through choosing not to play at all, win or lose its the act itself that keeps you bound and we all know the ending.

I stopped playing and that's the only way you win.

I set off for work in 30 minutes. I have a bit of a trek and its a 80 mile round trip each day. Its worth doing at the moment as on the whole I enjoy my job and I have had plenty which I have hated. There aren't many worst feelings than working a job you hate, makes me realise if I wasn't in the job I am now my recovery would of been a lot harder.

Still a bit of anxiety at work at the moment regarding everyone's futures. Contract renewal is in September and everyone seems to sense the client are itching for a change. We may TUPE across but no idea how many and in what capacity.

I really need to update my CV and start keeping an eye out but haven't made a start yet. Think part of this is because work has been a bit of a haven at times and reluctant and fearful of having to change. But change is coming and you cant stop that and I need to start facing that.

Hi Rob..

Good to see your posts ... Yeah ..work,routine and stabilty ..it's amazing how that can be the backbone of our life like the haven in the eye of the storm ..

Without overheads of mortgage etc I guess you can shop around a bit in the job front but having said that if you do work on contracts then there is the fear of what next? if you do have those overheads..

My pal works IT contract and has to travel and move about a lot...he has just taken out some specialist insurance , I think it's about 80 a month but comes with loads of trimmings for folks in your field ...not sure if that's for you but may bring a bit of peace of mind during contract changeovers...

As Lisa Simpson says...In China . ..crisis and opportunity are the same word..lol xx : )

I know your not in Crisis but you get my drift...lol

R and D xxx

Thanks Rach, no crisis for sure and I guess its a matter of perspective. god bless the Simpsons, sometimes I feel there is a quote or episode for all of lifes little dramas.

Had a look on a few job sites the past couple of days and there is work out there for me if the need arises. If I did climb back into the contracting field I would definitely look into getting some kind of insurance/wage protection. One thing I hate about contracting even more than the uncertainty is the pay is no better and sometimes worse than full time, they just strip away holiday/sick pay and the like.

Apart from the work front I visited a friend yesterday close to where I work to fix a computer problem. Used to work for him years and years ago, had his own business and was a self made millionaire. Well the business turned sour and he's struggled ever since and now cant afford to switch the heating even in this weather. Seems bad situation after bad has been thrown at him, lost both his parents in the past couple of years, marriage broke up. His son has an inoperable brain tumour. There isn't much more misery you could bestow on someone. I would like to say I have been there for him and supported him but I havent, to be honest I am a lousy friend. I will dash round at the first asking if you have a problem with your computer but anything else i find hard to engage with, I wouldnt go out my way to call in and see you and ask how you are. Something I really need to examine and work at opening up and connecting with people more. Sometimes it feels like I live in my own little bubble and don't even give anyone else a second thought.

Still gamble free, as you may tell from previous entries not really a counter but recently been getting thoughts of getting an exact date. Know it was sometime in July 2012 so I rang my bank to ask them to check my last online transaction as my online only does 3 months history. Bit of a funny conversation with the operator explaining I wanted to know the last time I made a bet. Got the date Saturday 30th June, I know I had my last bet the following day in a bookies after my last online transaction so Sunday July 1st 2012 was my last bet 🙂

Hi Rob

It was good to meet in "chat". It sounds like you're doing great 🙂

Thanks for popping into my diary- its appreciated.

Catch up soon

irene

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