yeah she was bang out of order and don't worry because if it happens again I wont stand for it
Midway thru another week, work has been pretty good largely helped to the perfect weather, id say 20 is perfect temp, not a cloud in the sky, makes everyone happy. Work has been good as I've been busy and it makes u feel that ur needed when ur allways busy doing stuff. Back home now listening to some tunes. Might organise another meal out for this Sunday fox and hounds is lovely and not expensive.
another day gamble free, no time for complacency, just got to rock on forward to the twelve of August where I will set some new targets
another night on chat where it becomes apparent that the gambling industry really profits from the disadvantaged and vulnerable!!! I come on the chat every night and over the years ivemet a lot of people who have become my friends. Ive gone from being the instructed to the instructor. However it breaks my heart to see soo many people in such bad positions due to gambling. I can't help but feel that if the gambling industry can do us a small favour by operating this website they could do us a massive favour and close for good.
Another 5 days have passed without a bet. What did i do last weekend? notmuch , relaxed sat, went to gym sunday and rowed for half and hour done 5k personal best. Trying to cut down on food intake but im very impulsive, oh well baby steps on that goal. 82 days left of the year for gamble free year goal horray im getting there, think it will go quicker when theres only a couple of months left, musn't wish my life away. Must remember life is not all about money, if i spend money to enjoy myself then its worth it isn't it.
if i spend money to enjoy myself then its worth it isn't it.
Most definitely my GC comrade, most definitely.
Let's be honest, towards the end of our gambling escapades we didn't enjoy it anymore did we. It was a sickening disease that was eventually chewing us up from the inside.
Last week I bought myself a basketball vest. Then I started freaking out to my wife and was worried I had given in to impulse as I don't even like basketball and have never owned a basketball vest. She was concerned about my anxiety related to this purchase... I was beating myself down until I mentioned at some point that I bought it because I liked the colour of it. At that point she put my mind at rest and reassured me that it's ok to buy myself an item of clothing if I like the look of it.
It's all good. Now we've got our heads screwed on we can trust our rational minds and begin to live again as reintegrated members of society.
I look forward to seeing in the 365 with you ????
One day at a time though eh ? must keep our feet on the ground! Ha ha
thanks a lot mate im glad im not on my own with my anxiety.
So all was well then today i got an invitation to an old poker friend birthday bbq in august, i immediately said id go and would be good to see them, after all i can go and not play poker. however i rememberred one of the last times i relapsed was at one of his bbqs when i had got drunk. i started thinking things like i will have been gamble free for a year then so it will be fine to gamble once, or reset the counter, also i could go back to poker again one day a week. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
This would be a total disaster all thoughts from one bbq invitation. its madness and totally confirms that im not over the hill yet and will always get these thoughts and urges.
dont get me wrong i can see these friends just at a time when they're not going to be playing poker at all as like an alcoholic its gonna be tough visiting a pub, and it truly is.
Here i am at the start of my holiday week, 9 days off work, horray, i like to think i deserve it but in reality i dont work too many hours a week and get a lie in everyday so im not overly tired. As per usual my life has changed so this week will not be filled abroad in the sun, or in a bar, or in a casino, or playing cards for money, it will be filled with sitting in my garden weather permitting, visiting national trust places, seeing family and frequenting the gym. Not to mention watching the champions league final that will be the finale of the week off. So been back a couple of hours and going to watch a film or two tonight then an earlyish night.
Ah enjoy it my friend... Come on, you're not gambling and turning your life around... In many ways you are even enjoying your recovery - so you do deserve the break!
You are worth it man!
That may be the next part of your recovery you know (generating self-worth)
Get that stick you've been beating yourself (even subconsciously?) and go sling it in the recycle bin or something ?
You do good now, you get good in return and you deserve good.
Substitute the word good with bad and that's the gamblers mentality and loss of self-esteem
You go enjoy yourself bro. Make sure you're cheering Liverpool on when the time comes!
Cheers signalman thanks for the post it really struck a chord that one just after u wrote it, I get down on myself too much and need to appreciate what I've got, what I've gone thru and the fact ive come out the other side. I'm gonna toast a cup of tea to my success now and enjoy my holiday.
third day of holiday done, bought a bed gets delivered on 24th June. Just booked cinema tomo, gonna watch some films tonight and rest as much as I can, id like to feel fully refreshed by the time I go back to work
Fantastic to see you are doing so well.
Great decision swerving the BBQ.
Peer pressure to play plus alcohol. Risk of it not ending well is high.
hi diary, hi k2 , unfortunately the thought of playing was imprinted I my thoughts and today I succumbed to it. I managed 290 days which is no mean feat for me. It took a hell of a lot of determination to get this far and a lot of will power. I obviously am pretty deflated after the game. It was good however to see all the old faces and I only spent six pounds on thee game . I actually almost won very close but I think if I had won as you all know that's usually the worst result. Well ive scatched that itch now and can hopwfully get straight back on the straight and narrow.
Gutted for you Adam.
However try and think positively.
You have been totally honest with yourself.
No damage done financially
No win to think you should play more.
The actual number of days aren't that important. Everyone does it a day at a time.
You haven't gone "On tilt", which is something I frequently did when I lapsed by effectively going on a gambling bender that could last days, weeks or months.
Dust yourself off and start again. You have everyone's support on here.
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