This time next year I won't be that Millionaire

I imagine that was a particularly difficult decision to make but good call getting the account closed 🙂 & lesson learned to delete, delete, delete! It may not feel like it now especially if the bet wins & you don't get paid but you can use this lesson to make you stronger in your resolve! I know your Mum has your cards but maybe the blocking software is a good back up (especially if you're hitting the sauce on Friday)!? You are doing great but never underestimate the power of this addiction!

Keep fighting - ODAAT

Hi ODAAT

It won but that doesn't matter, It was nothing special. Nothing that I haven't wasted in 10 minutes in the bookies. If they withdraw it into my bank well then so be it.

Yesterday was the first day I cracked but at least I made ammends by stopping it. Feel better about it today. Couldn't sleep last night till 6am and was up at 10am so not a great sleep but feel better in a better mindframe today.

I haven't really thought about blocking software, I think it will be a waste for me. Im a IT Techincal so I would be disappointed in my ability if I had trouble bypassing it lol.

Thanks for the post. 18 days now 🙂

Posting this in here so I can remember to do this tomorrow or on Saturday

In the years I have gambled, I have something like 30 accounts opened. You would think there isn't 30 online bookies available but you would be suprised. That's not to mention the duplicate ones I have opened under family member names. Im going to go on every site and request they close my accounts.

Yep, I can see why self exclusion is the way forward then...By the sounds of it, I could find my way round some of the blockers & I thought Excel was when I was good @ something 😉

Actually, having read what I have on here, I would be pleasantly surprised to hear there are only 30 online but I very much doubt it! The shops on the other hand, as long as we have transport there'll always be one we're not barred from somewhere just down the road! My damage was all done in shops & I had to turn my finances over to a thankfully very understanding OH to help set me along this path of salvation! I really have my fingers crossed that you've come to your senses quick enough not to lose your girlfriend & I hope she & your Mum remain strong enough to give you everything you need in supporting you through this!

You will have up days & down days, even up & down minutes as the enormity of what you have risked and become dawns on you but you can't undo the past! Recovery is a bespoke journey & as long as you learn from your mistakes & never give up giving up, you will keep moving forwards & get out of this hole you have spectacularly managed to dig yourself!

Onwards & upwards my friend, OAU - ODAAT

Well done on stopping yourself, now do the right thing get blocking software and this will help you never do this again. You could even cancel your email account and start a new one. Good luck my friend

Thanks. 19 days today.

Got paid there today, With all the money/debts coming out I basically have 370 to survive on until June 30th. It's going to be a real struggle. When I was making the plan I clean forgot about diesel money. It takes around 25 a week on Diesel so thats a 100 a month so Im really surviing on 270. Even writing this Im begining to feel down.

Im going for a meal and then cinema tonight with the girlfriend, My treat. Then tomorrow night Im heading out for a few drinks, (Carrie out beforehand saving some money) That will be me for the month then I would imagine, Ill be just surving.

Will be back on Monday. Gamble Free Weekend.

It may not seem like much but if you look @ it like a challenge, something new to focus on, you will be fine! Chances are if you took that & gambled, you'd be looking @ getting through the month on fresh air! My recovery journey started with £300 not being enough to get through...I gambled, I lost, I made it through the anyway! We focus so much on the possible outcome of gambling that we forget the harsh reality! Maybe a supermarket Take-Away tomorrow to save you money?

Surviving may not seem much of a life but it is life & I promise you, you won't regret the hard work you have to put in to stay in recovery - ODAAT

Hi. Weekend went well gambling wise. No gambling. 22 Days now.

Money is a problem. Im selling a set of Golf Clubs for 50 quid so that will help.

I haven't came clean to the girlfriend yet and I dunno if I should. Things are going good at the moment and this will end things. That's my next big decision.

bdoh2bdoh2 I always say you must do what is right for you and maybe when you feel stronger you can readdress things. Good on the 22 days. Its surprising how enterprising we can be to get money but the good thing it isnt for "G" but will help you keep focused as money or lack of it can make us stress and I dont know how it affected you, but when I was stressed I sought my comfort zone which I used to think was "G" but now know was often the cause of the stress in the first place! stay strong. Mary

Haven't posted in like a week. 30 days now which is a milestone kinda.

My friend's grandfather died so was so busy enough, we all went yesterday for a day's drinking in memory off him which didn't help the wallet I can tell you. Also had to take a day off work for the funeral which isn't helping my pay either.

Everyone apart from me was backing horses yesterday, (In ireland, nearly every pub takes bets) I nearly did it too. It was just 2 pounds every race, and I felt then such a oddball and outcast by not doing it. I really did. Things couldn't get worse and someone goes and suggests having a game of poker, thankfully it didn't happened, I might of played the way I was feeling.

I have alot of friends that gamble and thats a problem but you can't change your friends and its not their fault I have a gambling problem.

Just feeling down about things. Money is killing me. something seems to always come up. I dunno how Im going to get through the month and its always going to be like this until I get a better paid Job with the debts I have.

Never felt as down as I have today in the 33 days. I feel like I could cry. Is life worth living without money. I can't go on like this. LIFE IS NOTHING WITHOUT MONEY. that's how I feel right now.

Not including diesel money I have £45 to do me until 30th June. That's basically £2.30 a day for 19 days. Like what's the point. This is going to be the same story every month for the next 3 or 4 years.

I'm telling the girlfriend my debt problems tonight. I need her to walk away as much as I need her in my life, I can't afford to have a girlfriend. I can't afford to have friends.

I didn't want this post to turn into a sob story but that what I have become. I feel sorry for myself and Im just not a happy person.

Too Monday, Ill leave you. 2 days off staring at the walls to look forward too.

Sounds bad but if you hadn't stopped when you did, you'd have nothing a day to get through the month! Of course life is worth living without money! Being in recovery means facing life head on, every day, the good stuff & the bad so your moods will be all over the place! It may hurt but it's better than getting your head kicked in again over a few hours of burying your head in the sand that money provided in the past!

I really really hope your girlfriend sticks by you, please let her know there is support available for her as I expect she's going to need it!

Keep fighting - ODAAT

Things haven't been going well. I gambled and have been gambling since Saturday 13th. I haven't told the girlfriend the truth yet.

Im so depressed. I have so much coming up and its eating away at me inside. girlfriend graduation is on Monday, so I need to get a gift and then we are going for dinner with her family and then for drinks. Ill need a good 100 for that and I dunno where Im going to get it from. Then in July I have her sisters wedding. Bascially im screwed and all out of ideas.

The postivites I havent borrowed anymore money, The 45 was gambled and I won a few bets but eveutally finally lost everything on Monday.

I can't survive without money, Im just ready to give up.

Well Im back. For the past few months I have been gambling on and off. I have come back with a bit more debt, Owe a extra 800 out on top off everything.

Im more focused than ever right now. My mum has given me 1 final chance and said she cannot do this anymore.

I have got a 2nd Job as a bouncer . Cash in hand, 3 nights a week, 6 hours a night. (Thursday Friday, Saturday). Friday morning at work is a struggle as I don't get home till like 4am after thursday night and then I have to get up at 7.30am but I make it work. Its only a extra 200 a month when you take diesel out but it will be badly needed.

Anyway enough blabbering. No More gambling for me. I can do this.

Hi welcome back. I'm only on day 11 myself. Our stories sound quite similar. The thing I would say is, if you're serious this time you need complete honesty with your gf and family . I'm also undergoing counselling via gamcare for the first time. I abstained for 400 days previously but did nothing to address my underlying issues. This time I'm being honest with everyone and having counselling. Early days but so far so good. I wish you all the best. I

​