So today is the 1st day of what i hope will be the rest of my life.. i woke up this morning feeling suprisngly ok. I had a blip last night spending the last ten pound in my bank online.. i tried to deposit again but it wouldnt let me due to no funds (probably a blessing in disguise).
The feeling i got when i saw for myself i had no money what so ever made me run to the toilet and chuck up that feeling in the pit of your stomach you get is probably near on one of the worst things you can feel.. I decided i really needed to talk to someone asap as i was in such a mess i messaged my neighbour who is also a very close friend he came over and i explained the situation to him it felt good to actually talk to someone about it as when i try explaining to my dad and mum they just do not get it.. Although he gambles his self so really couldnt offer any great advice to me he could of possibly saved my life last night.
Anyways this morning i decided i really need to sort myself out no more mopping about and feeling sorry for myself as it was me who got myself in this mess.. the postman knocked while i was in the bath and it was a letter for me and my dad which requires a signature the only thing it can be related to is a insurance claim i have going through at the minute as i lost alot of stuff when there was a flood a few years back.. ive had it redelivered and i am praying it is good news if it is the first thing i do is give the cheque to my dad to cash..
ive rung up my bank and cancelled my bank card saying its lost i figured i wont be able to deposit any more money if its blocked and when my new one comes i will give it to a family member so i dont know the security number etc..
I then managed to scrap some gold i had together (hard times) it wasnt valuable but i managed to get 90 pound for it which litrelly has saved my skin i went straight food shopping and will now be able to pay my sister back some money i owe her which is one less thing to worry about.. I am feeling really positive about things today i just hope i can keep at it. I even put make up on and straightened my hair which i havent done for days!!!
so yeah day one... so far so good.. x
Hi lostsoul and congratulations on starting your recovery diary.
I was reading your first post in New Member Intros. It's great that you're taking steps to make sure you don't have access to money but I'm wondering if you've tried any other methods of stopping yourself having the opportunity to gamble online? Like installing blocking software? You can find out more here:
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software
You might also find it helpful to get counselling or join a Gamblers Anonymous group. You can find your nearest free gambling counselling here:
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/face-face-counselling/find-local-counselling
You would be very welcome to call the Helpline if you haven't already. We're on 0808 8020133 or you can chat online to us at the Netline: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline
Best wishes with your recovery.
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Thank you, i have self excluded from all sites and will also be downloading the blocking software on my phone..
i am going to make a appointment with my gp in the next few days and see if can reccomend somethings for me and also have looked into joining GA which i will be riniging up about today.
hopefully i can kick this addiction for good this time x
Day Two..
Still gamble free but im used to not gambling once ive wasted all my wages as i have nothing left to spend..pay day is going to be the real test for me.
Going to a GA meeting tomorrow bit nervous but its time to face my demons and mistakes and try and get my life back together once and for all.. also first shift back at work tomorrow after anual leave and i cant actually wait to get back and keep my mind occupied. x
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