Ill start by introducing myself and telling you my story. Im Barry, Im 25 years old and have been gambling since I was probably 12 years old. It started out as small stake football accumulators every Saturday until the age of 17, At this point after a few big wins I thought I could make it and become rich through gambling, As DelBoy says "This time next year ill be a millionaire" was my catchphrase. I was gambling everyday, Only on football however. I kept spreadsheets of all my bets and still have them too this day. Truth be told I made serious profit between the ages of 17 and 21, I even packed in my job at the age of 19 as I felt gambling was easy money for me, The problem was I wasn't used to losing, Yeah I could go a few days without winning but I would always turn it around sticking to my system.
From 22-25 I knew what losing felt like, I couldn't take lossing, I was a sore loser, I was a chaser. It went from betting on football, to Horses, greyhounds, Snooker, Darts, Pool, Tennis, F1, Basketball, American Football, Golf, Volleyball, Netball, Cricket, GAA, Athletics, (Basically I would be surpised if you could name a sport that I haven't had a bet on) And of Course I turned to FOBTS and Routlette.
In the past 3 years I have put myself in so much debt that it's going to set me back 10 years. I won't be free of debt until Im 35 and that my friends is sad, You only get one life and what a mess I have made off mine.
I was a known face in the gambling world and a high staker, so I had no problems get loans and lends from people. I also got loans from banks and in total 15 payday loan companies that I didn't repay back a single penny as yet. Im in a hardship program with all the payday loans companies and banks to repay that debt now. I took a punishment beating a few weeks back over money I lend from a loan shark and failed to repay, I had to come clean to someone, I opened up to my mum, All my friends and girlfriend know I went off the rails with the gambling, but didn't know I put myself into debt and still don't know. My Mum was able to give me a 20,000 lend to sort the loan sharks and other people I owed money too.
Probably a longer story than you wanted to read but Ill be giving it my all to turn my life around. I last gambled 9 days ago. I went back to employement last year and work 40 hours a week. The pay isn't great. But if I work hard maybe I can get a better paid Job. Im also doing a ton off overtime.
Ill be repaying debts to the bank and Payday loan companies for the next 5 years into the tune off roughly 400 a month and ill be repaying my mum. 200 a Month for the next 10 years. Basically the quality of my life for next 5 years won't be much other than surviving. Ill be telling my girlfriend sometime next week. She has a few exams coming up at Uni, so Im not stressing her with this until they are over. We have been together around two years but I expect she will finish it with me, I don't expect her to put her life on hold for 5 years as I won't be able to do the whole couple things. Etc Holidays, Restaurants, Moving in stuff.
Anyway that's about it. 9 days without gambling. , I have come to terms that I won't be succesfull via gambling and I hate what gambling has made me. Im confident off being able to do this. I have had little urges so far. Im keeping myself busy, I have heaps of TV shows that Im watching and I have started the gym.
Thanks Barry. All the best.
Welcome Barry, and well done on seeing you have a problem that is the first step to recovery. Setting goals is also good, but do not set unachievable goals, as these could make you buckle. From experience (I have gambled for 30 years) I stopped for 3 years and after about 6 months gamble free your finances and life become easier (feel free to read my recovery diary) I buckled and went back to gambling after 3 years and within a space of 1 year created a further £35,000 of debt, today I am happy to say I am on day 19 of not gambling. This website now takes a lot of my time up to fill the void left, I also play a lot of sport. Keep busy, minimise your access to money, tell everyone who is near you of your problem, ask them to help you in anyway they can (but not give you money) I wish you well and pleSe keep your diary updated. Dave
Cheers Dave. I looked over your thread. We are in similar level of debts I would suspect.
I have given all control of my bank cards to my mum. I still live with my parents, they arent bothered with me paying rent so thats handy. I have no real bills other than my debts. Car Insurance is 50 a month and my phone is 20 a month. So each month at least 670 will be leaving me. Leaving me with roughly 400 to do me each month., 100 a week. Pretty bleak but what can you do but learn from it.
Hi Barry. Really honest post mate and I hope you are doing ok.
I am on my second day after gambling at the weekend, prior to this I had done 8 months without gambling. I promise you life is much more interesting and rewarding without the addiction.
I have debt also but ironically I am a debt adviser. (Some people say the best people to get advice from are people who have experienced the problems, however it's hard to follow your own advice)
I would reccomend speaking to someone like payplan, citizens advice or step change. There will be debt solutions that will relieve you of some financial pressure, these solutions will also allow you to continue paying your mum back. She clearly is a great support.
I really wish you the best of luck.
Daniel
Ouch, brutal 🙁 Welcome to recovery Barry! I hope this serves as a reminder to anyone considering loan sharks what evil 'bleeps' they are! Whilst we all understand the importance of not bailing a gambler out, I sincerely hope your mother's life line has free'd you from that hell!
Great work so far on the financial plan...£100 per week isn't exactly the Champagne Charlie lifestyle you may have hoped for but it's plenty to live well on! I like that you plan to tell your girlfriend when her exams are over! I really hope that she sees you for the caring guy you must be to be worrying about her when you are hurting so bad & sticks by you! Gamcare offer support to friends & family if you think they may benefit from this!
Try not to worry about how long it's going to take to get straight! What matters now is staying safely in recovery & not giving in to the addiction when it tries to reel you back in, which it will!
Congratulations on reaching double figures! Keep fighting - ODAAT
Thanks for the comments. I have looked over both of your blogs. Keep up the good work.
Yeah it's 10 days now.
I had a small urge last night but I put it to the back of my mind. It was created by me wanting to go to the cinema to watch Mad Max with the girlfriend, It was my turn to pay, but I hadn't the money to go and pay for us and I didn't want to ask my mum, A small thought entered my mind as I had a tenner in my wallet for diesel. I thought about going down to spin the tenner on roulette. I could spin the tenner on a mutiple of 3's (2/1) and when it lands I could use the 20 for the cinema and still have the tenner for diesel. Thankfully I snapped out of that thought, but went into a bad mood for like a hour like a child because I couldn't get my way and go to the cinema. I came around and we watched Fast and Furious 4 on DVD and it was all forgotten about.
Long way to go but things are good for the moment, Im trying to forget the Debt and just try and enjoy my life.
Things still going good. Day 11.
I still check scores and watch a few sports but its not tempting me. I could try and predict the outcome but I know even if I won, I will end up giving it back anyway so it doesn't faze me at the moment.
Im enjoying sports more now that Im not gambling on it. Looking forward to watch the conclussion of the Darts tonight .
It is great being able to watch sports without being terrified/relieved about the outcome. Enjoy the darts and keep going.
Well its 12 days. Feels a lot longer than 12 days.
Won't be on over the weekend. Mood isn't the best, nothing to look forward too really. Have so little money and it's P*****g me off. You can only eat so much noodles before it starts to kill you inside. Roll on PayDay 29th May So I can go out on the drink.
Well its 16 days. Everything is going good on the gambling front. No gambling and haven't been tempted.
Im felt a little down this weekend.The lack of money and same tired lying excuses I have to give to friends/girlfriend as to why I can't go out or why I don't have any money to do anything. I spent the entire Saturday in bed feeling sorry for myself. Money really gets me down at times.
Payday is just around the corner so thats good news. I have a busy enough June but I have a plan in place to survive the month.
Hi hope you start to feel better. I have had so many different mood swings since quitting so know only to well the wanting to stay an hide away from the world. But I do always say Tomo is another day. Busy is good and I have to be honest writing these diaries an support for each other is keeping me from straying back to what we know will destroy anything good in our lives. So chins up to us both an look forward Take Care Mary
Dammmmm. I got a email in there few hours back. They were giving me free a 50 quid bet from a online bookie to use in tonight's Europa League Final.
I have been going back and forth in my mind all afternoon and I just broke and placed it as in my mind I couldn't afford not too
. The match doesn't even take place until a hour but I feel so P****d off with myself. I went 17 days and did that. I don't want to go back to zero 🙁
Should I go through on chat and cancel the free bet. Ahhh dunno what to do anymore.
So angry with myself. I haven't spend a penny but that's not the point. All I had to do was delete the email and I wouldn't of had to think it about all afternoon.
I worry that if the bet wins it will start a chain of gambling which we both know leads to destruction and devestation!
Equally if it loses although it's free it still brings up those emotions of a bet not winning and wanting to chase...you mentioned how you spent saturday in bed and tired of having no money for your safety I would cancel the bet and self exclude...ultimately in the long run got to starve this addiction and break free from it 17 days is great and you can still keep moving forward through this.
What good is this bet going to bring to your life? what positives are there to gambling in the long run. You have mentioned all the trouble it has caused so you so I think a gamble free honest life is the way forward my friend. Be patiet, be kind to yourself and keep moving forward. All the best
I know your right StoneRoses. Money is so tight at the minute, I just felt I couldn't say no to no risk free cash.
I dunno what has came over me today. I have requested my account to be closed. So I think the bet will be canceled. If the bet wins and my account closes and they withdrew money to my bank account so be it, if they don't so be it. Im not in control of my bank cards so it doesn't really matter.
Im still on 17 days. Mini mistake but no harm do sure.
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