Time for change

I AM ADDICTION
I start in a small subtle ways promising many things,
I promise you enjoyment and pleasure beyond your wildest dreams, I
deliver guilt & despair more horrible than your worst nightmare,
I promise you power & courage, I give you feelings of powerlessness &
hopelessness,
I will force you to live in fear always,
I promise you relief and escape from all your daily problems, I create
for you greater problems than you ever imagined,
I promise you many friends, I allow you only isolation,
I promise happiness, I create much sorrow,
I will steal from you your dignity, your families, your friends, your
children, your homes, your demons, your spirit & your life, for love,
freedom & happiness are impossible to find in my presence,
So never underestimate me, I am devious & manipulating, I have no
preferences as to who I pick as my victim, rich or poor, young or old,
black, white, yellow or red,
I have killed men, women & children, I have no conscience.
So if you have met me, always be aware if you think you can beat me,
that I will be gone form your life and all will go well again.
Never forget that I will always be there, waiting in the dark shadows
just around the corner.
I am very patient and I will laugh in your face if I can lure you into my
evil world of hell on earth once again.

How true is that!

Your doing great jayne we can do this. And yes that poem read last year and so true.

Hello Jayne and welcome to the GamCare forum.

Thank you for sharing your story in the diaries. You may also want to make an introductory post over in the New Members Intros section, if you feel you want to. 

It sounds like you have been in a very bad place because of gambling but you've made a strong decision to stop gambling and turn your life around. What have you been doing to help yourself stay gamble-free?

Sadly, research has shown a strong link between gambling and suicidal thoughts. We hope you were able to access support when you were experiencing those feelings. If you haven't already, you might want to consider contacting your GP to access local mental health services, or you may want to access support from MIND or similar mental health helplines. If you need to talk, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123, which is a free call. We have more information about gambling and mental health on our website:

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/understanding-gambling-problems/how-can-gambling-affect-your-life/

There is also help out there for your debt. We have information and links to sources of free debt advice in the Money Management section of our website:

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/money-management/

Take care Jayne, keep posting and keep talking.

Best wishes,

Deirdre
Forum Admin

Hi Jayne, 

It will be hard but you should 100% tell your partner - it is a much better option than him finding out and confronting you. 

Try to remain calm when you tell him and just be honest; it will take a while for your partner to process everything and he will probably have quite a few questions, but you can get through it. When you speak to your partner, please don't in anyway say anything that might make him feel that it's his fault but make sure he understands that you are going to need his help to get through this moving forawrds. 

Thanks Andy...your so right and I need to tell him...just worried about actually saying the words...I go over it in my head every day how to start the conversation...I need to just realise my faults  and take the consequences 

Thank you last xx

Thank you for replying with such good advice 

Hi Jayne, I've read your posts with great interest as I'm in a similar position to yourself.  

I started gambling in the late noughties and got myself into trouble but eventually came clean in 2011 which for a few months was difficult but thankfully my wife supported me at that time.

Unfortunately I restarted in 2015 and have been on a slippery slope ever since building up a significant amount of debt (£40k) as well as gambling most of our savings (£40k).  I have kept all this a secret through a combination of lies and paperless statements.

I too suffer with bouts of self loathing that have led to suicidal thoughts.  I started 1-2-1 counselling sessions a few weeks ago and have learnt a lot about what triggers my gambling and how I am able to lead such a normal life away from it.  I would certainly recommend getting professional support if possible (its free) as they can also help with how to go about coming clean to your husband.

I sincerely hope it works out for you and your husband. 

J

Thanks jumble..got myself in such a mess and don't know what to do ...whybdid we do it.i don't understand how stupid ive been ...hopefully time for change now 

Are you gamble free now Jumble 

Hi Jayne Austin or maybe ur not? Just wanted to pop by and say welcome to the forum..... Its a safe place......Great start.....Lets do this.....I hope to see you on the chat over christmas toasting to a great 2021 the year we beat gambling.... Adam xxx

Thanks Adam..so kind of you to message me ..we will get there for sure...it has to stop for all of us...just causes misery and pain. I want to be happy again ..roll on  Christmas xx

Hi jayne, just read your posts, gambling drives us to the depths of despair,  its horrid, I'm so glad yiu didn't give in to your suicidal thoughts, you deserve to live and get over this addiction. And you will ?? keep being strong, you've got this.

Stace