Tomorrow will be day 1

Just put a block on my computer. So that will help. I' spoke to someone on the chat and that helps a lot so if I'm tempted I will come on here and talk to some one.

Still can't believe what an idiot I was today I wonder if I was testing my self to see if I could control it after 19 months free.

I must remember that it's hard to concentrate on anything else when I've gambled. Plus I should remember that I find myself praying to god to win when I chasing my losses and I don't really believe in god. Hope I can sleep tonight.

So today is day 1 and I'm feeling positive. I've decided to not beat my self up and look to the future not backwards. I've done this before I can do it again.

I have gambled again to day what a fool

So today I logged into my bingo account to see if my withdrawal had been processed. I was then told that I had to wait 48hours after the request was made and that they only way to cash out was to spend another 18 before I could withdraw the money. WhAt a con any addict like me found this impossible and I gambled for 3 hours. I really don't think I can stop without any help. The 19months without gambling were the most peaceful of my life after 20 years+ gambling. I wish I hadn't relapsed but I've done it once and hope to do it again. I have loads of stress in my life at the moment and did not recognise the signs in time. I hope I can do it again.

So today is day 1 take 2 I'm feeling positive but I'm annoyed I allowed my self to fall into the trap of a bingo company. Anyway I'm hopping to do better and for today I will not gamble. I have been reading online complaints about this bingo company that the don't pay out winnings well if they don't give me my money there will be a fight. These company's are quick enough to take my 435 so I want it back.

I'm going to contact gamcare tomorrow to get some counselling surport.

Today has been along day. I've realised the reason I don't like online gambling. All in keep thinking is am I going to get my money back. I keep reading all the bad reports online. So instead of thinking about why I gambled all I'm thinking is are they going to con me , and what I will do if thEy do. I need to get a grip.

So today is day 2 and I have contacted gamcare for an appointment. Feeling a lot more positive and I'm going to be out today and tomorrow so that will help.

Hey chase,

Just thought I'd pop on to your diary to say hi and to wish you all the best of the counseling - seems like you're going through a really tough time - not that any of this is easy!

Really hope you get the support and advice you need to get the foundations in place for a successful recovery.

Stick with it, one day at a time.

Mr B

Thanks Mr B. I have set up a councelling meeting for this week so I'm feeling more positive. This time I want to nip it in the bud so to speak.

So today is day 3.

I can't believe I've put my self through this not sleeping/thinking about gambling all the time position again. Hopefully I will be able to stop again for even longer this time. I do know I will never be able to control it so it means gambling is a drug to me one I can do without.

Day 4

So Ive got a lot today today. When I'm busy it's easier not to think about gambling. I think I know why I gambled last week. Looking forward to tomorrow.