DAY 14
Shattered thank you for your support I really do appreciate it and yes bit by bit, we will reclaim back our lives.
So two weeks gamble free today, absolutely no urges at all to gamble as I don't want to and don't even have the funds to consider it.
Had a sleepless night last night with much on my brain.
Just for another day I decide to stick the middle finger up to gambling, it has no place in my life anymore.
Wilsy
Hi Wilsy,
Well done on 14 days. Keep up the fight and things will slowly improve. It might not feel like it, and living one day at a time can be exhausting in my experience, but with a bit of patience things can only get better.
Hey Buddy,
Many thanks for the welcome back. I will endevour to catch up properly in the coming days. However, I notice you appear strong in your resolve to stay well away from our demon at the moment.
It is always refreshing to read this determination. The other areas of life will improve, the fuel light will be rectified, there are birthdays every year, and work will remain. The key to it all is staying away from gambling. If you can maintain that focus the rest will follow. We have both been around long enough to know that the theory works. We just have to apply the practice.
I intend to be here for a long long time and I will look out for you as I once did before.
Be kind to yourself mate.
Flagg
DAY 15
Flagg thanks for your post will catch up with you soon fella.
Today I am not feeling well or that great mentally but I know that for another day, gambling no longer has a place in my life.
For today I will abstain.
Wilsy
DAY 16
battling my brain and depression at the moment, barely able to put one foot in front of the other and forced myself to come into work two hours late after a restless night and sickness. Struggling mentally but am getting the support from all sides thankfully. No urges what so ever to gamble, it has caused me too much pain and suffering, what I need to do right now is somehow stop this gradual break down I am having and stop the brain from thinking.
Just for today I will not gamble as it again has no place in my life.
DAY 19
Weekend passed by without a single thought of gambling. Spent weekend with my mum, got feed and looked after which is what I really needed, it was nice to have the company and to watch Neflix. Increased my meds so hopefully they will kick in properly and have worked out my debt for the months ahead, I am determined to clear what I can and leave myself with very littlle avoiding temptation.
Just for another day I will not wager another penny.
DAY 20
Feeling fine about things today, no urges whatsover and am looking ahead. Still mentally exhausted and know I have a long, boring road ahead of me but it will all get easier and if I put the hard work in now, who knows, I might one day find myself in a position, where I can start living a reasonably normal life.
Just for another day I will not waste my time thinking about gambling.
Hi Wilsy
Congratulations on the 20 days and great to hear no urges.
Just keep reminding yourself what you have said in your diary that gambling only has negative impacts on your life so don't let it damage your future.
Keep it up and here is to the next 20 days, one day at a time.
Muststop123
Happy 20th Wilsy ☺
One day at a time indeed...baby steps
S&B xx
DAY 21
No urges or thoughts of gambling, more thoughts of including a new debt onto my existing Debt Management plan. Medication has kicked in and seems to be numbing my thoughts but they are making me drowsy, apart from that I am okay.
Just for another day I will remain focused on my goal which is to start living a gamble free life!
DAY 22
Feeling free of any urges, I'm pretty determined with this now.
Absolutely shattered though, these meds seem to really know the stuffing out of me, always a real mission getting out of bed in the mornings. Not feeling as depressed as I did so they have taken the edge of that, still have no motivation to do much though which is still a concern but it is winter after all.
Finances are very strained but lucky I have a loving supportive family to make sure I have food in my tummy, just feel sad I have to involve them but moving forward, I can do this for them and myself and show them that I want a better life for myself.
Just for another day I will not contemplate wagering another penny on gambling.
DAY 23
Tired and limping my way to the end of the month. Have decided today to drop back down to 20ml antidepressants this morning as 40ml isn't agreeing with me, too many side effects. I appreciate I need the medication but the side effects I always get is rather annoying.
No gambling urges. Not looking forward to the weekend, have stayed round mums the last three weekends but this weekend I don't want to ask as they probably want some time to themselves. I have no food in, no petrol and the thought of not seeing anyone or going anywhere isn't much fun. Being skint I haven't made my debts much worse (only borrowed £25 a week) so I'm kind of waiting until I am paid on the 30th, so I can sit down and pay back or distribute monies to family who have helped me. Problem with being 1500 overdrawn is that my wages could all be paid out and I'll be back to being £1500 overdrawn again and will get charged £26 interest for being so.
Just for today I will refrain from any gambling activities and start working towards a brighter future for myself. Things will improve and get easier all the time I stay on the straight and narrow.
DAY 26
Had a rubbish Saturday but went to see my parents yesterday which was a relief. I get very low and bored when I am by myself and right now my anxiety is extremely high for reasons I don't want to go into.
No gambling urges at all. Two of my best friends lost over £340 and £500 over the weekend which reminded me again how destructive it is to wager just one bet because it never is just one bet. I feel sorry for them both but they are so heavily involved at present, no matter what I say to them about stopping, they are way too deep.
Birthday tomorrow which I am not looking forward to as i have nothing planned and nobody to spend it with and Christmas is fast approaching which is also a difficult time of the year so all in all I am not feeling very happy but I am happy I am not gambling.
Just for today I will just plod on.
Hi Wilsy,
Glad you managed to negotiate the weekend, it’s often the hardest part of the week for many.
Can you not go and see your parents tomorrow on your birthday? I rang my mum this morning, which I had to build myself up to do, but felt better afterwards.
Hang in there and remember that if things feel bad now, gambling again will just make matters worse.
Hi Wilsy
Sorry you are feeling low. Keep focusing on the positive of those 26 days GF which is building up nicely.
Keep posting.
Muststop123
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