I have been here many times before. I know I need to be here again. My life is in the pit again- you know what that means I don't need to explain much. As well as the debt I have become a different person, mood swing, unhappiness, impatience etc....I don't know what the way forward is at the moment, but I know I have to stop gambling, so I have self excluded from all accounts.
I will write more tomorrow- just a brief note today. But for the last five years my life has been dominated by this addiction and I WANT MY LIFE BACK. Even as I write these words though a voice in my head is telling me I will never do it, but I have got to try.
Stu
​fella I don't want to sound like a broken record but nothing will change until you give all your will to making change.I walked for twenty years progressively in those shoes, to repeat the same thing over and again and expect the outcome to differ.ga, counselling a real commitment to this amazing forum.I hope you take it before you lose more than the money you wage.abstain and maintain.duncs stepping forward never back.
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I hear what you are saying Duncs and GT thanks for your advice.
Day 2 today. Am a bit overwhelmed when I think of the big picture, just got to take one day at a time. Overwhelmed too at the damage done to finances, trust etc... I want the old Stu back, he was much nicer, focused, calmer, patient, careful with money, trustworthy- I could keep going, you know what this addiction does to us, it changes us into different people. Well I am claiming the old Stu back.
That which is broken can be repaired and I can make amends for what I have done wrong.
just for today I will not gamble.
take care everyone
Stu
DAY 3
The gambling is an escape for me, ironically away from financial problems- makes no sense does it, away from family problems and a stressful job. But its not an escape really is it, it just causes more problems, more stress, more misery. There have been only one or two times in the whole time I've been gambling that I have finished a session feeling positive, it usually ends with feelings of utter desperation and hopelessness after another big loss.
I feel overwhelmed by the misery I have caused others and the wrong things I have done, I dont know how to fix that other than to try and make amends.
I will not gamble today, I will choose to face my problems and not escape from them.
keep strong
Stu
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