What a day!

Sounds like you're doing good Irene 🙂 Stay off the f**s and gambling and your finances will keep getting better and better 🙂 I'm sure the citizens advice fella will help you to get your finances more organised anyway. Must say I'm very jealous of your number of days gamble free!!! Makes me want to do better! I'm on 39 today... Never been past 45, ever! I know I'll do it, just feels kinda strange approaching that many days with such (touch wood) ease! Get the feeling tougher times are around the corner or in the post :/ let's hope not though eh? 🙂

Stick in lass and keep up the good work!

Stubbsy 🙂

Ps- The running helps! Keep that up if you can! x

Hi there

thanks for your words in my diary, I had a real emptional burp, or should I say f**t, that day, just couldn't hold it in.

Money side of life can be a real pain but sounds like you are getting all the right support and I am sure will soon be able to relegate to back of brain and enjoy life to the full again, if you can get to 100 and stop smoking you can achieve anything. Greatly impressed

xxx

Thanks x

Day 104

I've had a brilliant day:-)

Up nice and early- made soup (thanks FEB for easy recipe!)

Who'd have thought a "mini facial" could perk me up so much? Until I asked my 18 year old nephew if I was "glowing"- he reponded "why would you be......are you pregnant?" !!!!!!!

I have a lovely afternoon at my sister's. Family was there and I took my 2 year old god-daughter for a walk to the swingpark. Its brilliant how being with a wee person reminded me about how good the simple stuff can be- we listened to (and mimicked) birds tweeting, went looking for swans and ducks at the canal (they were all away for a sleep), played on swings and counted steps- laughing all the way 🙂

Chatted to my pal tonight on phone (the one that's gambling) I hear myself in her- it was only "x" amount, the last time I'm doing it etc. I'm not sure if its better or worse, but she's less secretive than me.............I only admitted to her after I'd made the decision to stop. We worked out that even if I'd stopped gambling £10/day (impossible with max spins!) I've saved over 1K in the past 100 days.

I'm still feeling a bit raw about son moving. It may sound daft but it's massive to me. Most of my adult life I've felt responsible for him (despite him being 25!). Feeding, clothing, supporting, loving him etc. I've done a good job as a parent- well, the best I could do- and he's grown into a lovely, dependable, hardworking, kind young man who'll be a brilliant partner and father. Selfishly, I'll really miss him and feel that I'm losing another bit of "me".

I should at this point admit to buying cigs earlier- oops!!!!! But I'll also admit to enjoying smoking them! The world has not stopped spinning cos I messed up.................has it?

Oh! I've gone from a positive post to a maudlin one.

Hi irene,

Thanks for the words of encouragement, it's been a tough road but I'am willing to travel down that path to a gamble free life. I hope to make it to where your at, well done and congrats. Enjoy your weekend. Stay strong!

Chicagoguy

Hi Irene.

Glad you enjoyed the soup. I forgot to tell you if you want to make it a spicy lentil soup, just add a teaspoon of cumin and teaspoon of chilli and you can add chopped celery and carrots - all healthy. No probs with other recipes.

Flag you've had a great day - you totally deserve it ((minus thr yucky, yu ky's!! ha!

I can totally understand how you are feeling with regards to your son. He is the person he is due to the way you have brought him up single handedly and i'm sure he appreciates that.

Hope you have an equally fab day tomorrow.

Take care and speak soon.

Feb.xx

Well I cooked up that pot of soup too today. Chicken vegetable over here and mighty tasty if I do say so myself. Lol

Sounds like ya had a nice day and saving some dough to boot. Sure cant argue with that one. Im always broke gamble or not it seems. Guess if I ever get that car paid off things wouldn't be so tight too. Oh well all in good time.

Guess if ya ever come to the u.s. ya might wanna bring your own f**s. Lol asking for em here will get ya a little more than your looking for I would think. Lol lol lol

Thanks folks x

Day 105=15 weeks

Another week done 🙂

day 106

Done and dusted 🙂

That was a little one Irene?! Hope all's good 🙂 Well done and keep it up!

Stub.

Hi irene

Well done on 106 days of gamble free keep it up.

you are doing brilliantly.

Hey,

Thanks for the post and well done on your continued progress.

Gamcare Live is still on my agenda most definitely. The only real issue I have is the high turnover of people on the site and it's difficult to facilitate something when you never know who will be around come the big day. On the flip side there are a few people who are here and I don't envisage them going anywhere 🙂 I like the fact I include you in that group.

Flagg x

Hi there

hope you are still 'glowing', (not in a radioactive type way) after your facial.

Know just what you mean about your son leaving, mine is thirty in a couple of months and still feels like my baby. Strange I worry far more about him than my daughter.

Far better to slip up on the ciggies than the spending in my view and think you are very brave tackling both together.

Stay safe and strong

xxx

Thanks folks x

Day 107

Another one notched up gamble free. Strangely, don't have much to say, nor much time to say it!

I've been reflecting recently on changes in my life- so much happening. Change is good and the only way forward, yet it sometimes doesnt feel like that- instead its leaving me feeling drained. Too much at once I wonder??????

Jeez Irene, snap out of it!!!!!!!

Hopefully, I'll catch up properly with folk tomorrow.

Hi irene, recovery can feel like a selfish process and in truth it sometimes has to be like that to work. My recovery and remaining gamble free is my number one priority because if I am in good place everything else will fall into place or I am better equiped and strong enough to deal with it. Change is inevitable and can be very draining. Most important thing first and try not to sweat the small stuff. Take care blondie xx

Thanks so much Blondie- as usual, the right words to "hit the spot" x

Day 108- Beware! Waffle on the way............

I've got a hefty dose of the "poor me"s, despite today's news:

Gamble free

Son took possession of keys today- he's now officially a home owner

Saw debt guru today- calmed me and repayment plan decided (just need to convince the creditors to agree!)

Meeting at work today, (hate meetings) over and done with for another wee while

Smoking still under control (not quite abstinent- oops!)

Payday tomorrow- thanks goodness

Healthy (ish)- hurt foot so unable to "run"!!!!

I just don't understand why I've wanted to cry

all day. Folk at work noticed this morning that I'm "not right"- so much for being a closed book!

I can hardly tell them I'm frightened of the future- Blondie posted recovery can feel like a selfish process, I totally agree, yet it can't be any more selfish than gambling.

I apologise to anyone reading my diary today- I must sound like a self- indulgent wimp (well I feel like a self indulgent wimp!).

This is not my usual style- I'm a "doer". Grin and bear it. Get on with things. Strong and capable. Blah, blah, blah....... well I used to be. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

This post has taken ages to write. Lots of pre- posting editing (wouldn't be allowed the frustrated swearing!)

Tomorrow I'll feel better 🙂