What a day!

Hey wee pal,

Just a bump to make it easier to find your diary if you are planning an update :-)))

Proud of you girl, stay safe

S x

Last gamble 11/11/12 (612 days ago!)

I hadn't realised its been so long since I updated my diary. This is a positive for me as it highlights to me that I think about gambling less often now. I do miss the chats with others on this journey though.

I was at a work event today which reinforced to me that change is possible to achieve and maintain. I am ever vigilant however that I don't become complacent, and am still working to maintain abstinence. I accept that for me there's no "safe" gambling and I still have my tools to help manage urges.

Life has improved dramatically since "that" day and I never want to return to how I felt. I'm thankful that I've now got the time and energy to enjoy my life (which still isn't perfect- and is never likely to be!). I cope better with the rubbish bits as well as the good bits and am learning and accepting that there's no "quick fixes".

Me and wee Paddy are ambling along nicely, quite content with our lot 🙂

Hey wee pal,

Great update and more than happy for you!! d**n, I always remember the date you stopped this nasty habit cause it is my sis birthday, and as I did last year I shall do the same this year and raise that glass for you and your recovery! ! Soooo proud of you and wish you all the best.

Keep reaping the benefits, live your life and enjoy!!!

Woofs to Paddy as always

Catch up soon 🙂

S x

Hi Irene and glad to read that all is good and well in your world and your still those seven days further along the road than me. As you say it becomes somewhat easier to cope with life's ups and downs when we don't gamble. All the best and thanks for your support... S.A 🙂

Well now I am gutted. Here's me thinking I am coming across as this mature refined laaaaady but it appears not. tee hee.

So glad the jigsaw is staying slotted together for you - I think I have yet to find some of the pieces - think some bu//ar has hidden them - but will keep on searching.

Had a big influx of geese the past couple of days on the river, got to thinking if they land in the canal as well as hordes of them. Perfect sunny weather for walking woofit at the moment as well - what better way to fill the time.

xxx

Last Gambled 11/11/12

Phew, time continues to march on and yet another month's passed so quickly (is this a sign of getting old?!).

I continue to be thankful for all that's good in my life yet I have still got a wee niggle that it could all be wiped out by making the wrong decision.

There've been so many changes in my life recently and I feel the happiest I can remember.

I managed to avoid a "stag do" to a local racecourse. Although "live" gambling wasn't really my "thing", I don't want to risk a lapse of any type. It was a tough call to make- weighing up the +/- of attending, but decided to err on the side of caution and celebrate at home instead.

I don't think there's much else I want to add here, nothing much has changed for me which I'm content with 🙂

Hi wee pal,

Keep reaping the benefits of abstinence, keep belief going and enjoy your new found life, you are worth all the best 🙂

Take care girl

Sandra x

A quickie post- hope everyone's doing OK.

Me n wee Paddy are still enjoying my abstinence and progress.

Hopefully I'll be able to catch up later.

Hey Q I!!

Was just thinking about you today. Hope all is still good in your world.

Take care.

Feb.xx

Hi Irene

I think when someone is doing so well we sometimes forget to drop by, so just calling in to say so happy that life is as it should be for you and you certainly deserve it.

xxx

last gambled 11/11/12

Well, not much to log which is why I've not been around much.

Still choosing not to gamble and finding it hard to remember what was so pleasurable about spending hours in front of online slots. Despite this, I still experience the wee "what if" tingle sometimes.......as time passes its getting a bit easier to ignore, and I've not had to employ my "techniques" (still got the cheesy pop loaded in car!!!).

Life continues to get so much better. I actually have a social life- a real one!! I go out and meet new people, which I'd gradually stopped doing when in the grips of gambling. I'm still going to the gym and enjoy trying new keep fit classes (I'm still the oldest, most unfit in the class but I'm there for me, not to compete with the lycra gym bunnies lol).

I'm off on holiday next month. I think its the 1st time I've paid cash for a trip and I'm rather proud of myself. The debts are reducing and the cigarette money's paying for my holiday- happy days 🙂

The online casinos continue to bombard me with "special bonus e mails". Do they ever give up? The cheeky ones try phoning me too, they get a flea in their ear and sent on their merry ways!

My wee Paddy's still my loyal wee companion, he's been through all this with me. He's looking so much older and probably wouldn't be impressed at getting dragged along for massive walks like he used to to help me cope with cravings in the early days.

I logged onto chatroom earlier this evening and have been reflecting at how people welcomed me there when I was a newbie. I "met" a few during my time who continue to inspire me and who I'll always feel gratitude to. Similarly, there are people in the diary sections who have offered their unconditional support throughout my dark days and nights. I can only hope that each and every one finds what they need to make life better.

Jeezo- I feel that I'm heading for waffly, soppy mode and cant even blame nightshift!

Before I go, a reminder to myself of stuff that helped:

Time- money- location

nothing changes if nothing changes

progress, not perfection

it doesn't do to dwell on dreams and forget to live

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Hey wee pal,

So good to hear from you and it warmed my heart instantly to read you are in such a good place. Nearly 2 years girl, and look at you!! Something amazing to aknowledge, same journey same ups and downs but you have made a change - a difference to your life and i am more than happy for you.

You have moved on and took your recovery in 3d, it works and just shows how much we can achieve if we set our minds to it. You've been there for me from the very beginning and even if we don't talk a lot i know you are enjoying your life and reaping every possible benefit out of it. Great to hear!!

Gym? Wow girl, i remember us talking about it lol..bless your heart, you stick to ur guns and another great achievement you have reached (i stopped doing any exercise now...maybe that's one of the reasons i keep failing myself)

Huge inspiration as always, i wish you all the very best and this strength and happiness never to fade. You are worth it...you are brilliant

Keep it up my friend, keep slaying the dragon

Sandra xx

last gambled 11/11 12

Well, today's an honesty day. I'm with C and thinking about our time together. I'm so happy and never happier than when I'm with him.

He didnt realise that he"d contributed so much to my recovery. My 3d life is really a million times better (or so it feels) since I stopped gambling. Still, I've avoided any form of gambling of which I"m proud but also recognise that its down to my vigilance. I refuse (or forget!) to place a bet (or lottery ticket!) that people ask me to do.

I still dont think C fully understands the power of gambling- he's here as I type but hasnt really understood the power of the forum or why I feel the need to log in here........I suppose folk who dont need it wont, which is fine.

I still and always will have a problem with gambling which I choose to admit and choose not to participate in. For me, the winning's in the abstaining!

Its not always easy, but its do-able.

Irene

What a lovely post to read.

Thanks for sharing something which again inspires me to continue making the right choice.

Keep making yours.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back