I've slipped off the path, not with gambling , but my commitment to recovery ... I am a binge gambler and hoping this doesn't lead to a binge but I currently feel like I'm in a pool floating ... when will my partner trust me ? Will I just numb off and stop caring ?? Life is a whirlwind .. so many problems so little help xx
That is so weird, for the last two days on/off I have been wondering about you. Gamcare can be like that, people drift in and out.
Okay so I am going to put my nerd hat on now. You cannot control when your partner will trust you again, you can only control what you do, and the choices you make. Can I just say Nannai, I know this has been raised before, but while it is a serious thing a gambling addiction, it is not all about your partner. Yes, you used his phone to run up a gambling debt? But you paid that back correct? No harm to him or nothing, but why is he still living in the past, if he cannot move past it, maybe it would be better if he moved on. Beating you (not literally) with a stick about it, isn't going to help. As CG's we are quite hard on ourselves as it is, so there is no need for someone to sustain that as well. Draw a line under this period in your life, and your in recovery.
There actually is a lot of help out there, you just need to reach out and take it. However, we need to help ourselves too. Change your mindset, change what you are un-happy with....keep moving forward.
I feel less committed some days, and more on other days, some week's are better than others. Life is what you make of it lady.
Am glad to see you posting on here again. 🙂
Julie
Julie! You are half the reason I decided to post today ... your kind words and your lovely support mean so much and I have to remember there is people who understand my situation without confusion x
Day 2 of trying to post daily .... heads been all over this weekend... money has been getting me down which in turn makes me think about gambling xx
There is no money in gambling, so your better off thinking of ways to save money, or earn extra money. I have spent a bit this weekend, so will work next weekend to boost the savings pot. Stay strong xx
Oh I know, it's just a horrid thought I scare myself with I hope to be okay one day.... I just need to stop trying to run before I can walk ... and try not to over think ... going to try and make chat room session later xx
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