Old time poster 2014

I was a poster and an avid follower of GamCare from 2014. I had been addicted to online slots for about 4/5yrs at that point. My previous name was reesay and nomorenow. I was gambling every night and weekend, at the weekend I didn’t move from my sofa sometimes all night and pretended to my husband the next morning I was sick. 

I run up approx £30k of debt with PDL in both mine and my husbands name. We literally some weeks had no money at all. In 2015 I suffered a double bereavement and in 2016 I actually reached the point of enough is enough. I actually planned to run away from my life, I wanted to have an accident on my way to work or anything to take me away from the existence I was living in. I reached out to GamCare and started 12weeks of counselling where the issues of why I gamble started to become apparent. I started slowly putting barriers in place and the biggest thing coming clean to my husband who was relieved to finally know the extent of my problem, he was and continues to be a massive support even know I’ve put him through hell.

In April 2018 I registered for a 5yr ban with gamstop and I have not had a bet since. I missed the thrill of pressing that button to place a bet like a missing part of me it was all I could think of for weeks but slowly I started getting back to the person I was before online slots took over my life.

I didn’t post much before but I have reread my posts and I cannot believe I was that desperate person , I used to read the success stories in here not believing it could ever be me. Gamstop was the only thing that worked, I could not do it only by willpower, I needed it taken away from me. 
Gambling took so much time from me, the money I’ve let go but the time is something else.
I finally shared my problem with my best friend last year and she said to me that it now all makes sense. And I thought I hid it so well! Please reach out for help, it is there, I tried and failed so many times alone. Good luck to you all on this journey.