Success comes in many forms

Hi all,

Well, I used to be a very active poster five and a half years ago but I’m pleased to say I’m closing in on six years gamble free.  This community was really helpful if nothing more than just to talk to people, vent my frustration and give advice to others…of which I developed a pretty long list of ways to prevent any more damage! 

To put it in perspective,  I tried to quit six or so years ago after a record loss of £1800 in one evening.  Doing really well, I had a relapse and managed to lose around £3000.  The funny thing is, I wasn’t bothered then.  Gambling had taken everything out of me and left me feeling rather numb to it all! But, it taught me that I can never go onto a betting site for a bit of fun and expect to stay in control.  It also taught me that the money lost doesn’t matter, in fact I’d have gladly paid that £3000 to someone to stop me ever gambling again, and effectively I did! 

What that night also taught me is that gambling does absolutely nothing for me.  While numb to my losses, I was numb to any winning too and there was no euphoria any more of cashing out here and there.  So really what was the point of gambling? 

So I put all the blocks I could in place, took control of my finances, developed a plan to pay it all back and started on altering my mindset to despising gambling.  Once my mindset had changed, there had never been any more lure or pull towards a machine or a website.  Slots for me were a thing of the past.

It almost became a hobby watching my debt pile shorten and my mental and physical well-being starting to restore.  With that, I developed new interests, creative interests, social interests and substituted this thing that did nothing for me for things that made me a more positive and dare I say it interesting person.  

I confided in two close friends about my bad days and desire to quit.  They were responsible and one of the best pieces of wisdom one off my friends said “no matter how far down the wrong road you’ve travelled, it’s never too late to turn around.”  I made that into my computer and phone screen saver and looked at it every day.  I still live by that.  So a combination of taking responsibility, despising gambling through an altered mindset, various blocks and finding new ways to enjoy life were the tonic for me.  It’s different for everyone but for the first six months it was tough as anything! 

So what is the point of this diatribe? Firstly, this is an amazing community full of amazing people and I really felt supported.  I think it’s important for everyone to know that this can be beaten and in the long term, your whole existence will improve.  Sure, if I could go back and not lose that money then that would be great.  But gambling would have taken it over time, and then some more on top and it would never had ended.  Never ever give up! And when you think you’ve nailed it, put up the blocks even more! Don’t give gambling a chance! 

It’s important to understand that relapses are part of recovery and whilst I had a couple, I learnt from each and every one.

Finally, gambling will go one of two ways.  For me, I had a choice of kicking it and looking to a positive future or effectively it would have ended me.  I felt well and truly numb after I lost that £3k, a sign of submission of ever there was one.  Sadly, there can be longer term consequences with loved ones not being able to trust again, cars, houses in jeopardy and loss of material possessions.  Anything material can be purchased again but sense of family, trust and emotional connection can be lost forever due to this horrid thing!  It isn’t worth the risk.  Ever! 

Wherever you are in your quitting journey, I wish you all the success.  Never give up, keep interacting with this wonderful community and support each-other.  I don’t think I would have managed it if it wasn’t for Gamcare and the support and kindness others showed me. 

Thanks,

Abet