Rock bottom

I thought I had hit rock bottom at the time my destruction came to light, yes I was very low but I have since discovered there was a basement to my rock bottom and I never got there those that did hit that basement sadly aren't here to tell tale

KTF

I don't think it gave me an excuse to carry on gambling , I really didn't need that to be honest but I think for most of us there is a defining moment or turning point where we either stop self destructing or terminate our journey at a staion of no return .

I believe we all have different thesholds of pain , it's just a question of how much you can take ?.

Best wishes

Alan

I do think a spring board of sorts is needed Louis. But whole heartedly agree that its more terminology you can get lost in and be unhelpful, ie guaging oneself on others. It can be akin to thinking well i dont gamble as much as them, so i cant be as bad. A dangerous trap

Our bottoming out all differs, whether this is due to the different degree's of what we're avoiding.... Doesnt really matter, its stopping the chatotic act which does!!

It did with me but I dont want others to reach rock bottom. I think bottoming out can have different degrees. A flaming row with my dad over nothing... a week in a darkened room, the worst christmas ever( a tough time of year for depression) and deep thoughts of nothing actually worth living for. Bleak desperate thoughts and I got up one day and went straight to the photo booth. I felt strangely uplifted that day like an out of body experience. I later made the phone calls to tell people close and start a monitoring process

As Oldham says there are basements to basements with this addiction and I dont shy away from discussing that some people are not here to tell the tale. I will always put a gambling addiction in that context when necessary.

It took me out of a comfort zone I had created. I wouldnt say it was much of a comfort zone but it was a zone in which the addiction could work to control me.

We cant even say it was a good thing that happened to snap us out of it. thats how deadly the addiction is

Unfortunately I think it does take the rock bottom moment for many to take positive action. I can only advise people to act now.

Best wishes

I have hit rock bottom many times i have had a 70k bankruptcy and 3 years later i have just had another slip. I think there is many diff types of rock bottom the bankruptcy was a disgrace but this time every one around me thinks im evil and horrible i am low right now but i have to stay positive to beat this as they will never understand

I totally agree with what is written in the original post. I don't believe it to be helpful at all to tell someone that they won't want to 'change' until they hit rock bottom. It almost gives a reason to deliberately self destruct even further which is very dangerous.
As you said, some people do reach that point and it makes the difference, but many others make the decision themselves.

Agree with Louis 🙂

Mr L didn't stop until he was << >> that close to nuking everything around him. That was the point at which he stepped back from the brink but there was never any reason to have got anywhere near that close. I really don't understand the mindset that tells itself 'I'm not as bad as that person over there' or 'I would never do that' when the stories here alone bear out the fact that people just like them can and regularly do do precisely 'that' when they don't heed the warning signs or take sound advice.

Anecdotal evidence though has always seemed to me to point to a significant proportion of those with long stretches of GF time having brought themselves to a catastrophic point before they actually take action.

Again I'm only at liberty to say " How it was for me " but I can well remeber walking home on a Sunday night from the casino having just lost maybe a Couple of thousand pounds at the height of my self destruction and my guts would be in knots and tears running down my face all the time trying to keep to back streets so I wouldn't bump into anyone that would witness my distress . The thought's running through my head of " That's it you e***n idiot no more " and planning how it was all going to change now and life would be so differen, then getting up on a Monday morning where my thought's turned straight away to getting back in the bookie's to recoup some from the night before , yet only hours before thinking that was my " Turning point" my " Rock bottom " which clearly was still a long way off yet as I was still ready to sink much much lower .

Thats why I believe when someone turns up here on the forum saying " I've gotta stop " and " I can't do this anymore " , then a few day's or a week later either dissapears for good or say's there leaving the forum because of a relapse , how can they have reached that point which we can call " Rock bottom " the " Final straw " or even a " Turning point " or " defining moment" ? . Sure , just as I said many times to myself " something is clearly wrong " and " I need to address it " but I still hadn't begun to fall to a point where I'd genuinly considered to "Open my parachute " to any sort of abstinance or recovery .

If were all honest we'll never know if we ever reach that " Rock bottom " I'ts a platform to rebuild from and a definate starting point but as were never " Cured and "Just in Remission " so to speak, however much gamble free time we accumilate we could still have the ability to fall further .

So at the moment it's " There but for the grace of God " for me . xx

Some very good points are being raised here.

Ive walked home in a numb depressed state many times. So low that I didnt know if I could even get home without slumping down with my head in my hands. Ive stayed in bed for a day or so and said out loud I must never gamble again.

Then a day, two days or payday later I have been back gambling again. So that wasnt the defining moment then with an addiction so powerful that it seems to dismiss all these final straw moments. Ive had no electricity on and no food in the cupboards. You would have thought all these moments would have been a real wake up call.

Sech is right that careful wording is required when advising gamblers. However I wont shy away from mentioning it in the debates and discussions section. Its an addiction so wrapped up in us that it can take a real low to seek the right help and act on the advice

It took me forty years then 10 months on the forum to do something effective to fight the addiction. I could say that something triggered me to do the right thing. Something triggered me to realise that handing a photo in and telling my parents the truth was nothing compared with the misery I was experiencing.

I do liken it to a moment of enlightenment....a bulb switching on.... a born again moment...however you want to term it.

The difficult part after that was figuring out why I had not done this before. My IAPT counselling brought out that I have been in some form of depressive state for all of my life. I wasnt seeing things clearly and had a heavy heart for as long as I can remember.

I thought I was semi ok but I wasnt. Perhaps that is one factor common in gamblers.

Its a deadly addiction and I am never complacent

I don't believe it matters what advice is given a compulsive gambler. Until they hit their personal "rock bottom" - whatever that may be nothing is heard or changes.

Going to flip it a little. I agree with the majority said on here but still go along with Louis that it can be a unhelpful term. For some the penny seems to drop quicker than others, I myself tend to fall in that category of the penny not dropping despite some sustained periods of abstinence. So does that mean I haven't and others haven't found there rock bottom and they need to go lower than the depths they've been too ?. Possibly pain thresholds come into it or less to lose ? Or as mentioned in first post is itafter all unhelpful terminology.... Interesting topic none the less

I don't find it a useful concept...for those who have reached "rock bottom" it normally seems to refer to dire financial straits...I have not reached that...yes I have spent ridiculous amounts of money, but my finances are sound. But gambling is a problem to me...it robs me of my self respect, it alienates me from those around me, it makes me a liar. I don't know if anxiety and depression are a cause or a consequence of gambling...but compulsive gambling is an indication of poor mental health?

Maybe unhelpfull to those that don't want to hear or accept it Paul ? . I had a lot of terms and phrases directed at me in the early stages of being here , most of which I really didn't want to hear or acknowledge as being the truth mainly because it hurt to be wrong , change doesn't come easily to me or to many other CG's which in hindsight is probably why it took me so many years to accept it in order to leave gambling behind and work on improving my life .

We all have our opinions and I don't dismiss anyone's anymore , what works for one won't mean didly squat to another Paul but I guess that's what makes things interesting hearing about the bespoke way's our recovery differ and as you said " It's an interesting Topic ".

Take care Shipmate and I'll talk to you soon :))

Ok here's my point Alan and I feel a little passionate about it but losing / property /monetary/ relationships / sampling a loose around my neck to see if it fits and the million promises I made and failed on is quite a low place, so for the life of me I can't fathom how it would be helpful in Louis original point in that ' rock bottom ' can be unhelpful. Possibly we're going round in circles as I said in my first post that a spring board of sorts is needed. But it would be harsh and possibly detrimental advice to say to someone that they haven't met there ' rock bottom '

Its interesting and ears wide open but I can't find a way to budge on that stance...