Hi all,
My boyfriend got into a lot of gambling debt before we got together, he was open about this.
I discovered 2 months ago this had restarted, he hadn’t accrued debt but had spent a lot of money we could have used elsewhere from his wages.
First time in our relationship I have ever discovered it. It started in January, I noted his mood changed but kept brushing it off. We are rebuilding slowly, in the past I went through alcohol addiction with my mum who left when I was young, so I am maybe scorned and less forgiving than most with addiction but I want to try, he hasn’t had it easy from me. I am not a controlling person and I can’t accept becoming that, I don’t ask to check his phone or bank etc, no relationship is ok without trust but he has got better with being open and has told me all of the darks of how he feels gambling.
He has been attending GA and counselling, every week. He said to me he would never gamble again as he has seen what it’s done to me. He was mortified I discovered it, he said he was mortified and ashamed. I made him tell his family as I couldn’t go through it alone, they were ashamed and said he was throwing everything away. I found out as he expressed low thoughts and I noted money issues, so I asked to see his credit score then logins to all his betting apps. He said if I hadn’t found out he wouldn’t have told me but has accepted all responsibility.
can gamblers ever stop as he says above? I can’t help but resent him at times. I’ve never experienced gambling addiction but I have alcohol, and when they say it stops, it doesn’t and there’s risks. How do you know when someone is taking this seriously? I feel gambling is worse as I could visibly see other forms of addiction. His mood has majorly improved but I hold onto doubt.
Hi
I'm a gambling addict and have quit for sometime but gone back to it plenty of times 2023 has been a terrible year for me. I'm only on day two. There are success stories on all addictions , but alot of us have failed. I think you will always have it in the back of your mind about gambling, he's going to need your support and i would say always keep your guard up to, like all addictions there is no point getting angry but you will need to control things and have access to his bank account to check, if he has nothing to hide nothing to fear you seeing it.
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