Hi,
I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year. We were very happy together and one day out of nowhere he just ended it. I presumed maybe there was someone else and soon found out that he was a gambler and had £40,000 worth of loans. I told him I wanted to be there to help him but he told me it was not his gambling that was the issue, he jut didnt want to be with me anymore.
After three weeks of no contact, he begged and begged for me back. He said he'd let everything get on top of him and he'd do anything to have me back. Promised me the world and even gave me all his cards and online banking passwords to change. Everything was going really well and after just 6 weeks hes ended it again and just said his head isnt in it?
Im so confused as everything was going so well? Just seems very out the blue and I just dont know wether he knows being with me means he cant gamble and thats got too much for him. Can anybody relate to this situation or have any advice?
Hi amy80
As a CG myself your boyfriend is probably in a very bad place at this moment in time and doesn't probably know what he wants or wants to do. It might be being with you he realises he won't be able to gamble again and this maybe the reason he is being like he is with you, but the one thing I would say is your boyfriend has to WANT to stop gambling for things in his life to start to get better ! The one thing I will say is he won't be able to do this alone as like anything you have good days and bad days and it's on those bad days where you need to be very strong willed and have a strong network of people and support around you ! I would get him to ring the gamcare helpline and even ring it yourself as they are very good and would highly recommend both of yous having some councilling as you will then be able to help him as how he feels when he is gambling ! It might all sound very heavy but there is a lot of support out there and these forums are very good for CG and there immediate family and partners. Hope you can get sorted with it all.
All the Best
Darren
My partner did this 3 years ago, said it was nothing to do with the gambling. A year later we got back together and he has just relapsed x
Hi Amy
He's the only one that can answer your question but that said a CG who doesn't want to give up will prioritise gambling over anything and anyone. If he doesn't want to give up and senses you (quite rightly) won't go along with that with that he may well be putting his compulsion first. Regardless of his reasons, if he's still gambling frankly he's doing you a favour. Life with an active CG who won't give up is a nightmare. Read up on the addiction and where it leads unaddressed and think hard about what you want and deserve from a partner.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
